Page 25 of Harvest Moon (Riverbend 3)

Who could blame her? He felt like doing the same. Actually, he’d prefer to punch a wall. He watched the child, lying so still, her chest heaving. Should he console her? Give her some space? He needed a manual.

He eased down beside her and rubbed her back.

She edged away, turning her face the other direction.

He withdrew his hand and regarded her small, still body. He wished he had the words that would help her heal. He had to try. She didn’t have the vocabulary to express what she was feeling.

“Are you sad, Emma Bear? I’m sad too. And I’m so sorry this is happening.” His throat tightened. “I know you miss your mom and dad. I miss them too. But we’re going to get through this. I’m not going anywhere. Do you hear me? Uncle Gavin will be here for you no matter what.” He blinked against the sting behind his eyes. He had no idea what the future held, but he meant those words. As long as Emma needed him, he’d be here. Would do whatever it took to make sure she was okay.

He was the one who lived in Riverbend. If Aunt Patty didn’t come through, it was up to him to take care of her. He didn’t know how he’d do it with his business, but he’d figure it out. He wouldn’t let this child down.

He reached out to rub her back again, and this time she let him.Please, God, help her through this. Comfort her. Give me the wisdom to know what to do and what to say. I feel so helpless.

A few minutes later Emma wiped her eyes and pushed to her feet. “Gabin read book.”

He blinked at the abrupt change in her demeanor. “You want me to read you a book?”

“Princess book.”

At the ordinary request a weight slid from his shoulders. “All right, Emma Bear. Go get the book and I’ll read to you.”

Chapter10

Exhaustion swamped Laurel as she walked across the funeral home parking lot. She got into her car, started it, and lowered her window to expel the oppressive heat. Once the Claytons’ car pulled from the lot she sagged back in her seat. She needed a moment before she returned to the house.

The morning had dragged by, but the planning was over. Who cared if the casket had a vault or what color or model it was? Mallory wouldn’t care about such things. She hadn’t been materialistic. She’d lived in the moment and brought joy to those around her, balancing out Laurel, who tended to be deliberate and pragmatic. Mallory had been the only one who could drag Laurel out of her shell. Make her forget to be careful. Years ago she’d been the one who’d encouraged Laurel to lean into those feelings of love she’d developed for Gavin. She’d been their biggest cheerleader—and eventually Laurel’s maid of honor.

Not to mention Laurel’s main source of support through the divorce. As opposed to her mother, who, when the marriage fell apart, only frowned at her, “I told you so” etched blatantly in her expression.

What was she going to do without Mallory? She’d always been the one Laurel could talk to about her mother, even though she seemed like a dream compared to Mallory’s narcissistic mother. But it was a point of connection for the two of them.

Now her very best friend was gone, and no one waited in the wings to take her place.

“At least they went together,” Judy had said inside the funeral home.“They loved each other so much, and they didn’t have to grieve one another. I guess we can be grateful for that.”

It was small comfort, but it was something. It was so easy to get lost in the tragedy and lose sight of anything positive. Grief was like that.

The Claytons had been muddled at the funeral home, uncertain of their decisions. Laurel had tried to help them, but she kept having flashbacks to her own son’s funeral. Between that and the loss of Mike and Mallory... it was hard to separate the grief.

In one way she was jealous of the Claytons. They’d had thirty-five years with their son; she’d only had three with Jesse. Mike’s body would inhabit an adult-size casket while Jesse’s had been heartbreakingly small, propped all alone at the front of Riverbend Community Church. She shook the image from her mind.

She shouldn’t compare. Grief was grief, and losing a child was impossibly painful. Laurel was glad to have the planning out of the way. The visitation would be Thursday morning with a double funeral following. She thought of all that lay ahead, including Emma’s uncertain future. It was overwhelming. Best to take one thing at a time.

Her next hurdle would be Mallory’s obituary, and she dreaded the task. How could she condense her friend’s life into a few paragraphs? She thought of Mallory as a little girl, as a teenager, asa grown woman and wife and mother. There had been so many lovely facets to her personality. Laurel wanted to somehow capture them all.

But she felt so empty. So drained. She pressed her hands to her eyes. She needed a few more minutes before she returned to the house where Emma waited. Where her ex-husband waited.

God, help me. I can’t do this without You.

Her mother had stopped by this morning to offer help, but Laurel didn’t even invite her in—having her and Gavin in the same space would’ve only made things more stressful. There was enough tension in the house without adding her mother to the mix.

This morning Laurel had let her supervisor know what had happened and notified her that she’d need the week off. It was bad timing with the promotion within arm’s reach, but it couldn’t be helped. She could commute, but Laurel couldn’t imagine leaving Emma with someone else all day. Diane seemed okay with the sudden request, and heaven knew Laurel had accumulated plenty of PTO. She would worry about work later.

Getting through this week was all that mattered right now. The grief was all-consuming, but she couldn’t fall apart at the house. She had Emma to consider. And she wouldn’t let Gavin see her that way. She no longer trusted him with her emotions—he’d let her down so badly.

In addition, it was odd to be parenting with him again. Going through all the motions of changing diapers, feeding Emma, playing with her. They’d found that rhythm again much too easily. It was disconcerting.

Furthermore, the house was crowded, and Emma didn’t need them all hovering around her. Laurel would convince Gavin to go home. She and the Claytons were here for Emma, and Aunt Pattywould surely reach out any moment. There was no need for Gavin to derail his life this week. Laurel would see it through.

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