Page 35 of Dr. Off Limits

“But this could be the love of your life,” Parker said. “Another Jacob might not come around again.”

I put my hands over my face. I couldn’t think like that. I wasn’t the girl who met the love of her life. Things didn’t work out like that for people like me. I wasn’t the only one who thought Jacob and I were a bad idea. Jacob agreed. He had his reasons too. It wasn’t like if I changed my mind, I could run into his open arms. His arms were firmly crossed over his chest.

“It’s not going to work out. I’ve just got to find a way of working alongside him without turning weak at the knees when he asks me a question or gives me a well done.” I sat up and grabbed the bottle of champagne. “Let’s have a drink and forget about it.”

Parker held the champagne glasses and I poured. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched people in pedalos and rowing boats on the Serpentine, splashing and laughing and knocking into each other. Did Jacob ever come down here and lie in the boats to de-stress? Maybe I should suggest it to him.

Maybe not.

“I don’t think we should forget about it,” Parker said. “I know you want to be focused on work for the next couple of years, but there’s never going to be a period of time when you go, ‘Okay, the next ten years are looking rather empty, I’m off to find the love of my life.’ It just doesn’t work like that.”

“I know, but medicine is important to me. I’ve worked hard to get here and I don’t want to mess it up over a guy.”

“There’s always an excuse. Sometimes you have to close your eyes and jump and trust that you’ll land somewhere soft.”

I loved Parker—like in the way sisters love each other in films. She was the only person in my life I trusted. The only one who hadn’t let me down. But her advice made no sense. I didn’t need to jump with my eyes closed to know I wasn’t landing anywhere soft. Every time I so much as took a step, I hit hard concrete. That’s how life had always been, and I’d long accepted it.

I knew the next few years would be tough. Anything that looked like an easy way out or a soft landing set alarms sounding in my head.

Jacob was the stuff of sirens blaring. I needed to keep away from him.

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