Page 54 of The Housewarming

‘Get off me.’ I struggle against him.

‘Ava, I’m sorry,’ he says. ‘Maybe I shouldn’t have told you, but I can’t stand to see you like this. I can’t stand by and watch you destroy yourself. But you have to forgive him, babe. He loves you more than anything in this world.’

‘Loves me? No he doesn’t. Who does that to someone they love? Fuck you, Neil. Fuck both you, you pair of fucking cowards.’

I start to run.

‘Ava,’ I hear him say. ‘Come on. Please.’

I scrabble to find the key, find it, plunge it into the lock. Once inside, I slam the front door shut and lean against it, my head full of white noise.

Matt. Matt left the door open. My own husband is responsible for my daughter’s…

I sink to the floor, my face pressed to the back of my little boy’s soft head.

It wasn’t you. It was him.

Twenty-Four

Matt

His pocket is vibrating. His phone. His phone is buzzing. He didn’t hear it above the music. He waves at Bella, who he eventually found in the garden an hour or so ago now. She gives him a thumbs up before staggering slightly against Pete Shepherd, who laughs and is more than happy to hold her up. He leaves them on the patio, which is now the dance floor, and wanders to the end of the garden. It is a little quieter here, in the thick dark beside the fence. On the screen is a missed call from Neil. One minute ago. A message throws up a blue speech bubble.

I had to tell her. Tried to call you. Sorry.

A feeling of unease unfurls within him. Sorry. Tell her. Tell her what? Tell who what? He checks his watch, sees that it’s after eleven.

What?he thumbs and presses send.

There is another text, earlier. From Ava.

Have gone home. All OK. Enjoy the party. See you in the morning. Xx

His phone flashes. Neil.

I told her it was you who left the door open. I can explain but we need to talk. I’m so sorry, mate. I had no choice.

His guts churn. He leans his hand against the Lovegoods’ back fence, worries he might be sick. Neil must have followed Ava out of the party. He should have looked harder, should have followed her himself. She’s his wife. He promised he’d stick by her and he hasn’t, couldn’t even stay by her side and help her through the sight of the Lovegoods’ little one waving goodnight.

‘Shit,’ he whispers. ‘Shit shit shit.’

He calls Neil.

‘Neil.’ He pushes one hand against his ear to block out the Latin American music throbbing at full blast.

‘Mate, I had to,’ Neil says.

‘Why?’

‘She needs help, mate. She’s going under. We can’t do this to her, it’s not right.’

Matt pinches the bridge of his nose, but the music is so loud he has to cover his ear once again to hear, to concentrate on what he wants to say. ‘I don’t… I wish you hadn’t. Is she… how did she take it?’

‘Not well. You need to get home, mate.’

‘How did you even end up talking to her? Were you on your own?’

‘She was outside when I left the do. She was crying, so I… I talked to her obviously. We haven’t spoken since… you know, and I was just trying to calm her down. But I could see she was going mental with it, you know? The guilt is eating her up. There’ll be nothing left of her if she carries on like this. So I told her. I told her you didn’t tell her ’cos you love her. I explained it. Honestly, I did my best. I’m sorry, mate, I didn’t know what else to do.’

---