Page 99 of Under the Influence

EVERY SHRED OF DOUBT I HAD ABOUT ROCCO SEEMED TO FADE OVER TIME.

When I left the hospital, I moved back into Rocco’s place, or should I say our place.

He let me dictate everything at my own pace and we stayed in separate rooms for a while until I could work through my own feelings. My main concern was the baby, trying to make sure there were no complications with the pregnancy. Rocco hired the best doctors and midwives that money could buy. He came to every appointment, scan, and class.

After a while, we started to rekindle our relationship. We went on dates in the city, sometimes fancy restaurants and expensive trips. Other times, we did low-key outings like theaters and museums. I moved back into the master bedroom and although we were sleeping in the same bed, we weren’t sleeping together just yet. I wanted to wait a little more and to also get the green light from the midwife. Even though I knew who my husband was and what he did for a living, I could finally differentiate Don Croccifixio De Luca from Rocco De Luca, my husband.

Today, we are at our check-up appointment, where we find out the gender of the baby as well as if there are any more complications. I recoil slightly as the nurse applies gel to my stomach. I can also notice my small bump becoming a little more pronounced every day, bringing a flutter of joy to my heart. Rocco sits on my left, his hand clutching mine tightly. I can read the happiness in his eyes as well as the slight anxiety.

“Everything appears to be on track,” she says as she continues putting the scanner against my stomach.

“Are you sure?” He asks sharply. “Doubly sure?”

“Yes, Mr. De Luca, all the scans are showing the baby’s progression is as it should be. Mother and baby have bounced back exceptionally well from where we first started.”

“Good, good,” he says looking at me, relieved.

“Do you want to know the sex?” she asks.

“Sure, Rocco?”

“Yeah,” He smiles back at me.

“It’s… a boy,” she says zooming onto the screen. “As you can see, that’s the male sex organ.” She points to the monitor.

“He’s definitely my son,” Rocco says as I prod him in the ribs.

“I’ll just go and print you some 3D pictures,” she says, getting up.

“What’s wrong?” I say to Rocco whose face has crumpled slightly.

“I just want to make sure that I’m a good father. I wasn’t exactly blessed with great parents,” he says, smiling and I can see a rare moment of humility. “I don’t want to fuck this up.”

“You won’t, we’re a team,” I say pulling his head closer to mine and kissing him slowly on the lips. He returns my kiss for a deeper one but then stops. We haven’t slept with each other since the conception, not just because I was on bed rest for a while, but I didn’t feel ready quite yet. He hasn’t complained once, but for both of our sakes, I want to try and see if we can reconnect sexually again.

“Here you go,” the nurse says, handing us copies.

“Rocco, can you wait outside for a second.”

“Why?” he starts but leaves when he sees my facial expression.

“I just wanted to ask, since the scans seem fine, whether I can… Whether we can, you know, have sex,” I say, turning towards the midwife.

“I don’t see any reason why not. Most OBGYNs encourage sex throughout the pregnancy. As long as you’re not doing anything laboriously hard, I think you’ll be just fine,” she says with a small smile.

“Good,” I say, wiping off the gel and pulling my clothes on.

“What was that about?” He frowns at me.

“You really want to know?” I say, raising my eyebrow at him mischievously.

“Yeah,” he says, looking confused.

“I was just checking whether it was safe if we could start having sex again.”

“And?” he says, staring at me in anticipation.

“Greenlight, as long as you don’t throw me against any walls or anything.”

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