Page 85 of Under the Influence

“I didn’t love him, not like the way I love Rocco.” I say wishfully, “it was infatuation if I would have married Anton, I would have been just swapping one glass cage for another. I feel guilty more than anything else that I cost him his life.”

“Does Rocco know all of this?”

“He never gave me a chance to explain it.”

“Tell him everything. He needs to know that you’re picking him for the right reasons, not because you were forced to. He needs to know that because if he doesn’t, he’ll feel like he’s second best and one thing Rocco isn’t, is second best in anything.”

Several hours later, we are situated inside the club. Lucia nods at me haughtily while I shrug in surprise.

“I told you we would get in,” Lucia says, smiling smugly. “I know every goddamn security person at every club door in this city. I can’t believe you ever doubted me.”

“I’m more surprised that Franco agreed to give us a few hours alone for a girl’s night. Have you ever had a girl’s night?”

“Have you?” she asks pointedly.

“You’re the only girl I know, the other girls I grew up with are prim and proper robots.”

“And I’m just your wild ass sister-in-law.”

“For now,” I say sighing.

“Forever, whatever happens,” she says, squeezing my hand.

“That sounds ominous,” I say giving her a look.

“You should just tell Rocco how you feel, make him listen to you and if he’s still being a jerk ask him for the divorce. It’s better to do it now rather than drag it out. Do you still want to be with him?”

“I still love Rocco, I just need him to understand why I never told him about Anton. I want him to know that if I had a choice I would always pick him.”

“Then do it, he’ll be in the office upstairs. Rocco rarely hangs out in the club, he’s too antisocial for that.”

“Where will you be?”

“At the bar, obviously. Have we just fucking met?” she says, rolling her eyes.

I walk around the club looking for any sign of Rocco. Instinctively, if he were here, I know I would be able to pick him out from the darkest smokiest corner. I walk towards the elevator to his office on the top floor but two security guys who I am not familiar with stop me.

“Miss, you can’t go through there, that area is restricted.”

“Hold on,” a familiar voice interjects.

“I’ll take it from here,” Dominic says from behind me and waves them off. “Sophia, what are you doing here?” He says frowning.

“I want to see Rocco,” I say firmly.

“He’s not in the office,” he says, shaking his head.

“Don’t lie to me, Dominic. I just need to talk to him, please.”

“I’m not lying, Sophia. He’s not here, you can check the office if you want.”

“Where is he?”

“He stepped out for a business meeting.”

“On Valentine’s Day?” I say, feeling my heart drop.

“The Mafia doesn’t stop for holidays, Sophia.”

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