Page 51 of For a Lady's Irresistible Gaze

The further one walked, the more the winter had lessened, and spring began. Faux ivy strands were on the walls around the dance floor, and blooming lily-of-the valley perfumed the air. Two hours in, and Esther had danced only twice, avoiding the waltz as if it were the plague.

That music resonated with Arthur—Felton—for her, and it cut her up inside to dance it with another man. Without her expressively noticing it, her eyes traced around the room, looking, vainly, for the man who was starting to warm her heart back to him.

Downhearted, she was considering asking John to send her home, when the butler announced Lord and Lady Colborne. Esther nearly dropped the fan she was using and bit her inner cheek when she saw him. He and his sister matched with the Lady in a lovely shade of silver and his powerful form clad in impeccably tailored clothes, dark-grey coat and trousers, a dove grey waistcoat, and his cravat in a cascade fall—pinned by a familiar silver pin, grazed his chin.

His stoic face seemed to have a little more grimness and gauntness to it and his hair a little windswept and ruffled. She managed to tear her gaze away while the two made it further into the ballroom. Her eyes clenched as her gaze rested on everything but him.

God, what did I do to deserve this?

She could feel Margaret’s eyes on her but kept her gaze away—tonight was going to be either a massive mistake or somehow a blessing. The question was, Esther did not know which one.

***

Hours later, Esther could not take it any more and fled to a balcony—only to find the ledge taken. By Felton. He was leaning on the railing, the night air buffeting his hair, and his cravat looked loosened from the tight knot it once was.

She stopped in her tracks at seeing him with the laughter and chatter of a ball behind her. She considered turning away, but when he spoke, his tone had her stepping closer, “You don’t have to run, Esther. I won’t bite.”

“I apologize. I did not mean to intrude,” she went on. “You were here first, and though I was just looking for some privacy—” she shook her head. “I’ll leave.”

“Please, don’t,” he said quietly. “We are civilized adults here; can’t we have a decent conversation? The balcony is large enough to accommodate the both of us.”

“We should not be together,” Esther said, while daringly, she stepped past the glass doors and came close to him, “But I think we can bypass this for once.”

Felton twisted, and his eyes did that slow trace of her body that made her shiver to her bones, and his eyes shifted to a pain, “You’re beyond lovely.”

Esther rewarded him with a soft smile before coming to lean her gloved arms on the balustrade next to him. “What were you thinking about?”

Could it be me?

“The battle of Waterloo,” he mentioned, “How many we lost at that battle. And the ones we lost coming back; the wasting disease, was worse than any sword could have done to a man.”

“You lost a lot of men,” Esther mused.

“I have lost a lot of things, Esther,” he said. “Some more cutting than others.”

His tone told her that she was counted in the things he lost. Esther clasped the iron railing and peered out into the darkness. Closing her eyes, she leaned into the night and inhaled deeply. “Are you not enjoying the ball?”

“No,” he said shortly. “I only came because Catherine wanted to come, and my mother pressured me into it,” his dark shoulders moved in a careless shrug. “The truth is they show me with stark contrast that this life, balls, soirées and what have you, are not for me. I feel exiled into an Elba of my own—separate from all others. I am just waiting for it to end, but why are you here?”

She sucked in a breath, “Because there is a certain gentleman who I cannot ignore, one who I have told myself that is not the best for me. But he was one that I cannot get out of my mind, especially when he sends me letters and drawings of an unfortunate snowman,” she slid him an assessing look.

Felton’s eyes were straight ahead of him, but his lips twitched, “Is such a gentleman here?”

“He is.”

“And does he know that you are feeling thus?” Felton asked.

“I do not think so,” Esther replied. “As I have not replied to his messages and he has been warned not to be near me. I do wish to correct that, though; I just cannot see how to do it.”

Felton turned to her, and he swallowed, “Perhaps you should tell him. I can imagine such man would be hurting just as you are.”

Reaching up, Esther cupped his cheek, “I’ve missed you.”

His breath was shuddery as it left him, “I have agonized about you. God above, Esther, the nights I have spent in heartache over you are innumerable. I love you more than I love my life. How can I prove it to you?”

A plaintive sob worked its way up her throat, and overwhelming joy and relief washed through her soul. She made to say something, but no words came out. As it turned out, she did not have to. In the next moment, his mouth claimed hers in a kiss that said more than any words could have.

Resting his forehead on hers, he said, “One more chance, Ether, please, give me one more chance.”

“You will have it,” Esther sighed, pressing her face into his chest. “I will persuade Mother and John, because I cannot lose you again.”

His arms enveloped her, and his warm sandalwood scent flooded her nose. He whispered, “Never again, love. Never again.”

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