Page 4 of Burn For Me

Whiskey

Smoke was an appropriate name for the handsome man that just walked away from me. There one moment and gone the next—poof! I sighed as my shoulders rounded forward and sipped my second whiskey. I grinned slightly as I set the glass down, letting the smooth alcohol sit on my tongue for a moment before I swallowed. He called me Whiskey, and I had to admit that was the best nickname I had heard recently.

When I first sat down, I had the urge to drink away my frustration. I had just gotten another letter from my husband’s attorney, and I was furious with him for all the nit-picking crap he was putting me through. I had already given him the house and given up my right to alimony. Now he wanted my car. Well, he could go to hell! I was keeping my BMW.

A movement behind me had me glancing back, strangely hoping that it was Smoke again, but only slightly disappointed to find it was my friend Becca slipping into the seat that Smoke had occupied.

“Sorry, I’m late.”

“That’s okay. I was able to entertain myself.” With a bit of help from a handsome man, I added silently. If I had even suggested that I had been speaking with a man, Becca would have been jumping up and down, begging for the details, and then searching him out to find out when we could see each other again.

I knew that would never happen, but having a man pay a little attention to me without trying to slander my name was excellent. It was also nice knowing I could still turn a man on. When he had stood, and my knee landed right between his legs, there was little doubt that he was attracted to me. It gave a significant boost to my confidence—something I desperately needed.

Wade, my very soon-to-be ex-husband, had said so many hateful things to me recently. The latest was in our meetings with the attorneys to review the details of our divorce. I had wanted to crawl under the table and hide. Occasionally, Wade’s attorney would glance my way, a look of pity on his face. I wasn’t sure if he pitied me because Wade made me out to be such a horrible whiny, unsexual, ignorant person or because he felt sorry that I had to deal with a man like Wade. I was hoping it was the latter.

When it was my turn to speak, I said I had nothing to add. What good would it do to share my humiliation with the people in this room about how my husband had cheated on me with various women and barely tried to hide it? What was the purpose of telling them that he had a drinking problem and liked to gamble and pay for prostitutes? Or that he had given me not one, but three STDs in the last several years? It was like an anniversary gift that I didn’t want.

There wasn’t a reason to do any of that, and when I said that, everyone was surprised. Wade had stared at me with his jaw hanging open for a long moment, then snapped, “that’s it? You aren’t going to say anything?”

I shook my head, laced my fingers on my lap, and gave his attorney a tentative smile. All the while, my stomach rolled with anxiety.

Ultimately, Wade was getting everything, and I was walking away with my clothes, jewelry, a few trinkets from the house, and my car. They didn’t know that I felt this massive wave of relief pass through me, and I walked out of there, holding my head up high.

Wade had found me waiting for the elevator and grabbed my arm to pull me off to the side. “Why didn’t you speak? You made me look like an idiot!”

“You made yourself look like that, Wade. Besides, what I would have said didn’t have any importance.”

“But you had a chance to tell everyone that I cheated on you.”

I shrugged. “What difference does it make, Wade? You said enough for both of us. You made me look like a horrible wife. Why should I make you out to be a horrible person, too? They didn’t need to hear anymore. You made it painfully obvious that you were unhappy in our marriage and wanted out.” I put my hand on his arm. “You’re free. Enjoy it.”

Behind him, the elevator door opened, and I stepped around him. “Goodbye, Wade. I hope you find what you are looking for.”

I stepped into the elevator, turned, and watched him disappear behind the closing doors. It wasn’t until I was on the sidewalk rushing to my car that the tears threatened to spill, but I held them off until I reached my car's interior.

Once safely hidden from prying eyes, I put my head on the steering wheel and let myself fall to pieces. All the horrible things he said about me — which I didn’t want to believe — echoed inside my mind. Was I an awful woman? Did I care more about myself than anyone else? Did I ignore him? Was I frigid?

That one hurt the worst. Wade had easily announced that I was horrible in bed and that I never wanted to do anything different.

That wasn’t true. I did want to try different things, but I wasn’t comfortable enough with Wade to ask for what I wanted. Was that strange? Shouldn’t I have been able to ask for what I wanted after being married to the man for ten years? Yes.

I should have had no issues with that, and yet I did. If there was anyone that I should have been comfortable talking with, it should have been my husband—and I wasn’t.

Perhaps I would never find a man that I could be open with. I thought about that as I washed my hands in the bathroom and smiled at myself in the mirror. When Becca and I had been seated a few minutes ago, I quickly located Smoke on the other side of the room.

He was very handsome. I wasn’t typically attracted to men with beards, but his was neatly manicured and looked like it would be so soft to touch. His hazel eyes had been so interesting to look at that I wished I could see them in the sunlight. How amazing would they have looked there? Perhaps one day, I would bump into him again on the street and get my chance.

I pushed open the bathroom door, telling myself to stop thinking about Smoke and enjoy my dinner with Becca. Just as I opened the door, I found Smoke standing there, stepping back as if he had been about to enter the bathroom. Perhaps he looked at the sign wrong and thought this was the men’s room.

We joked for a moment about crossing paths again, and then he said, “something made me come back here. There is something about you.”

My God! Were all those terrible things Wade said about me true? Could everyone tell that I was a loser? I didn’t want to believe that, but I knew Smoke was wrong. “There is nothing special about me, Smoke.”

“Let me be the judge of that, Whiskey.”

I watched him come forward, my mind was literally blown away that this handsome man was leaning forward to kiss me. Somehow my brain found a way to fire again correctly. I was preparing to throw my hands up and push him away, but his lips landed on mine. Without thought, I clenched my hands around the lapels of his suit jacket and held him to me as our lips melded into one.

I felt a burning deep in my stomach that made me want to climb up his body and wrap my legs around him. The brief thought mortified me, and I chastised myself for my current actions. I abruptly pulled back and stared up at him. He looked almost as shocked as I did, but that couldn’t be because he was the one that had initiated it.

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