Page 34 of Catastrophe Magnet

I swallow the bite in my mouth before speaking. “I met someone.”

Silence, then, “I’m sorry, I don’t think I caught that properly. Did my horndog son who has never in his twenty-two-years of life brought a girl home just say he’smetsomeone?”

“Ha-ha. I’m aware relationships aren’t my forte, thus the phone call.”

He laughs. Like legit laughs at me. “Son, what makes you think I have any advice for you? Are you forgetting it took me fifteen years to find Kins?”

“Good point,” I mutter, running a hand through my hair. I probably should have called Archer because I’m like ninety-nine percent sure he was a serial monogamist before he settled down with one of my stepmom’s best friends.

“You know what, I’ve got an idea. Give me five minutes and I’ll call you back,” Dad says then ends the call before I can respond.

I stuff half a piece of pizza in my mouth and wait.

A few minutes later, my cell rings with a group video chat. I answer, then laugh when I see who is on the call. It’s all the guys of my large extended family.

Bates is the first to speak. “Arlo’s got a girlfriend! Fucking finally, man. What took you so long?”

I flip him off. “Like you can talk. How many cleat-chasing baller babes did you bang before Tia wrangled your ass?”

Bates and Archer are the brother and best friend of one of my stepmom’s closest friends, Lennon. They’re also professional baseball players in the city who have a rabid female fanbase.

Bates shrugs. “I was a dumbass, what’s your excuse?”

“I was busy with school and shit. Besides, I’m only twenty-two. I believe you were still whoring it up in your thirty-somethings. But Kida’s not like any of the chicks back home. She’s different. If I’m ever dumb enough to introduce you, you’ll get it.”

“Different how?” my uncle Sam asks.

I grin. “She’s one of five badass bounty hunting sisters named after princesses…” I’m met with a variety of facial expressions ranging from thoroughly amused to shocked and confused. I nod, “I know right.”

Aunty Em’s romance writing husband, Sebastian, looks like I just gave him an idea for his next book. “How’d you two meet?”

Rubbing the back of my neck, I grimace, fully aware these guys will never let me live this down if they get the full story, so I give them the cliff notes version. “She tackled me in a coffee shop slash porny bookstore.”

Everyone speaks at once.

Bates: “Nice!”

Archer: “What the hell is a porny bookstore?”

A beaming Uncle Tom: “She tackled you, that’s hot.”

Uncle Sam: “Can’t beat a woman who goes after what she wants.”

A smiling Dax: “Damn güey, a little girl kicked your ass.”

Sebastian grabs a note pad and scribbles notes.

My dad, however, hasn’t said anything. He’s just staring at me with an unreadable expression.

“Dad?”

“I have questions,” he finally says.

“Okay, shoot.”

His brows dip. “What were you doing in a coffee shop slash porny bookstore? And what exactly is that? Also, since your sisters have watched every princess movie on the planet, I know all their names, and Kida isn’t one of them. So?”

I purse my lips. How to explain Perky’s to my family? “Well, it’s the only coffee shop in town, and they happen to sell books, too. Romance books. Specifically, super steamy ones. It’s called Perky’s Books & Brews. I’ll take you there when you’s come next weekend. And Kida is from Atlantis.”

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