Page 30 of The Rebel and the Rogue

My soul cried for her, for what she was. Inside. She was a monster like me. A powerful, loyal, merciless monster. The most beautiful thing I’d ever fucking seen.

Ivy touched my shoulder as she walked past. “Come on, Zenos. She knows where to find me, and I really need a shower.” She turned around but continued to walk backward. “And that fuck you promised. Something about licking my clit?”

10

Ivy, Astra Legion, Zenos’s Private Quarters

I shook. Hot water poured over me, but the heat did nothing to soothe my frayed nerves. The adrenaline was bleeding away, leaving me edgy and twitchy.

I’d killed before, in battle, on missions, but never with such cold rage. Surrounded by those guys from Cerberus, I’d had a blood lust so intense I’d been hyper-focused, almost desperate for destruction. And I’d caused it. They might not be the ones directly involved with poisoning my unit with Quell, but they condoned it. Allowed it to happen. They were accomplices, the ones responsible for my units’ deaths, my suffering, the scars I carried like brands of shame.

And God help me, I’d seen Zenos’s face when the female, Jillela, had named me a monster. Hived-Up.

I hated that fucking term. To me, one who’d spent years fighting the Hive, it was a pejorative, as if getting the nanotech and integrations by choice was a good thing. Fuck no. The term was insulting, as if I were a traitor to my own people. When I’d had it done, it was true, it felt like I was betraying my unit all over again, as if I were killing each one of their souls for the sake of my own. I’d done it for them.

And I didn’t get Hived-Up. I’d lived. I was surviving, that was all. Sure, a quick fuck made me forget for a short time, but that was all. I didn’t forget. I couldn’t. Everything I did was for them. Revenge. Retribution. Justice. Even the integrations.

It was all for them.

The truth should not hurt so badly, yet it did. I’d done what I had to do to survive on that backward outpost after my unit went down. My will to live had overcome every other objection. I had taken what was offered to be stronger, better, faster and hid the shame. Until today. Until Zenos saw the truth with his own eyes, heard it from Jillela. He’d looked at me like I was less than human. Less than a Rogue hybrid. Less than the dirt beneath his boot.

I was. Yet I was more. I’d proved it with the destruction I’d left strewn behind me in Cerberus dead. I was faster than an Everian, stronger than an Atlan beast. More cunning than a Prillon commander.

“Damn it.” I punched the wall of the shower, leaving a dent in the thick metallic surface.

“Save your rage for battle, female.” Zenos’s deep voice stopped me cold, and I turned my head, looked over my shoulder at him. He was clean. Naked. Looking me over through the clear wall of the shower tube, his gaze lingered where the small cuts from Cerberus blades stung in the water. I purposely left my back exposed to him. He’d seen me naked before, but not like this. The stupid armor somehow highlighted scars, what I’d done. Little Scylla had pointed it out to me, how she’d seen my long scar even through my shirt. Zenos had known before that the markings on my body existed, from the first time we met on Zenith.

Now he knew why. Knew what the scars meant. He’d called me brave. Honorable. I was contaminated with Hive technology. Dirty. Vile.

I was even more rogue than Zenos. I was more rogue than the evil of Cerberus or Siren. Those legions might have zero morals or ethics and sell humans for coin, but I was the worst enemy of all: Hive.

“What do you want, Zenos?” I couldn’t face him. Not like this. Naked. Exposed. Real. What had I thought? I’d go all wild with my new integrations and he’d never learn the truth? That I wouldn’t care if he learned the truth?

Yeah, that was what I’d thought. I hadn’t given a shit what anyone thought of me until now. Until him.

Turning my face away, I rested my forehead against the cool wall and sighed. “Just leave me alone. I’ll be gone soon enough. You won’t have to protect me from myself any longer.”

Cool air was the only indication that the door had opened. Hands gripped my waist and lifted me, pressed my chest to the cool wall. Held me securely. I rested my cheek against the hard surface. “That is not acceptable, female.”

I spread my arms like I would if doing a push-up and pressed back. Hard. Using every ounce of my artificial strength, showing him exactly who and what I was. Reminding him since he’d clearly forgotten, even though it had been only a short time ago I’d left a path of destruction in my wake. “Let me go,” I snapped.

“No.” His hands rested over mine, his hot breath burning the back of my wet neck. “I have never seen a female more beautiful. You are a goddess of death. A gorgeous, vengeful goddess.” His hard cock pressed to my lower back, and I shuddered with lust.

He was hard for me? Impossible. I was a freak.

“What are you doing?” I pushed again. Harder. But he still didn’t budge. He was strong. So damn strong. Why was he being nice? He knew the truth now, that I was part Hive, part enemy. That I’d gone to extremes to live and used that to my advantage, to rip through a group of Cerberus.

His lips traced the outline of my ear, licked away the water on my skin. “Do you want me to stop, Ivy? Truly? Or do you want me to fuck you raw?”

Oh God. My pussy went into spasm, tightening, pulsing. Aching for what was pressed to my back. I needed it. I needed him to help me forget, to make me feel good for even a little while. To turn this hatred I had at myself into something better.

“Fuck me.”

There was no more talking. I didn’t want the truth. I didn’t want to hear it, to know what he thought of me now. With a groan he lifted me high enough to position his cock at my entrance and thrust deep. Hard. Fast.

I cried out at the penetration. The feel of being stretched open, taken completely.

I had nowhere to go, nowhere to run. I was trapped between a hard wall and a hard body, his cock filling me completely. There was no escape as he took me. He wasn’t gentle, but I didn’t want that. I wanted the rough jerks of his hips, the deep strokes, the slap of flesh on flesh. He consumed me. Filled me. Made me forget.

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