Page 87 of Firestarter

Before the storm truly hit, soft snow drifted around us. I gazed upward through tree branches to watch it settle, somehow at ease, despite everything that was going on. Later, the storm kicked in, replacing the snow with painful hailstones and a gale that threatened to send us off the mountain itself.

All life had retreated, so in the dark, we sheltered in a cave, safe from the wind. We watched lightning crack in the sky, somehow managing to keep a fire going at the mouth of the cave. We ate from our backpacks, comfortable in our safety. New territory required a sense of alertness, but it was easy to relax next to the fire.

“Mara would have loved this,” I remarked, drinking coffee from my flask. I hadn’t thought of her as much as I might have, warding off the grief because I didn’t have the energy for it. There on the mountains, I felt the pain touch me, but in a different kind of way, as though time and space had given me new eyes. I let those memories of my friend whirl around me, the good ones, the way I should remember her.

“You were close,” Ryan said. “Despite everything. You were one of the few she trusted.”

“She found it hard to get close to anyone,” I said. “Her past did that to her. I suppose she thought of me as safe. She knew I would never be a threat to her, and she could live with that. I wish she’d confided in me instead of confronting Dominic by herself. I should’ve been there for her. She didn’t deserve any of that.”

“I blame myself,” Byron said in a hoarse voice.

I looked at him in surprise. I had always assumed he was above things like regret and grief. I figured we were so low down on the chain that it didn’t matter if we were lost. But looking at him then, his shoulders hunched over, obvious pain in his eyes, I knew I had been wrong all along. Others had the capacity to care. My world was larger than I once thought.

“It wasn’t your fault,” I said. “Mara was reckless. She didn’t think before she acted. She knew she could come to me or Perdita if she was afraid to go to you or Nathan. She probably thought Dominic wasn’t capable of hurting her.”

“I should have noticed something was off about him sooner. No, it’s worse than that. He was with us because I knew there was something off about him. I was trying to help him, and look how it ended up.” Byron ran his hands over his face. “I have a lot to learn, even at my age.”

“He was a good actor,” Ryan said. “He had us all fooled. There’s no fault but his, and he earned his due. Poor Mara reacted to her realisation too quickly. That’s the problem with our whole pack. Too reactionary. Too unstable.”

“But it’s hardly their fault,” Byron said, surprising me yet again. For all the years I had known him, I hadn’t known him at all. I had come up with my own idea of him, and I had been wrong in so many ways. “They’ve had tough lives, most of them. Occasionally we get people like Evelyn who come along having lived the way we want to live, but most never had that opportunity.”

“The changes have been a lot, even for me, and I had plenty of normality before I was forced into Vin’s pack,” Ryan admitted. “Maybe it’s too late for the older ones. The younger generation needs your help more.”

Byron nodded, brooding as he stared at the fire. “I’ve thrown them all into this new world and expected them to adapt too quickly. Smaller packs adhering to the main pack’s rules will work so much more efficiently. If nobody has to fight for their place, then things have to improve.” He glanced at Ryan. “I still believe there are no lost causes. Everyone is worth fighting for, not just the young.”

“With more packs, you’ll need to travel more,” Ryan mused in a way that made me think they’d had the same conversation many times. “Keep on top of more problems even when you might not have all of the details. You’ll need to trust each sub-leader to do the right thing.”

“It’ll take time, but eventually, every pack could take care of itself with minimal input from me.” Byron waved a dismissive hand. “Or whoever is in charge by then.” He sighed, watching as fresh snow began to fall. “This place would be perfect for a pack.”

“It’s untouched,” I said. “Anybody who got to live here would love it.” Mara would have been in her element, and she would have expected me to follow her. Could I have done that? Once upon a time, I might not have hesitated.

“I wonder what became of the so-called white wolf guardians who used to protect these people,” Byron continued in a melancholy tone. “Amelia once told us her ancestor was meant to bear white wolf guardians. Did my family’s curse ruin everything or was it these harbingers?”

Ryan scowled. “We should assume the worst of the harbingers, to be safe. I don’t want to have to explain to your family how I failed to bring you home.”

“My family is growing,” Byron said with a smile. “The next generation deserves peace, so let’s give it to them.”

The thought warmed me inside. My comfort levels around Byron kept surprising me. When had I ever spoken to him like an equal? Nothing like that had happened until Margo entered my life.

Byron reluctantly set down his cup. “The storm looks to have passed. We should shift then move on four legs before it gets bad again.”

We continued our journey in wolf form, carrying custom-made neat little bags that held one set of clothes for our convenience. We kept a good pace once we were unhindered by bad weather. We had gotten so used to the land that it no longer held us back. My coat kept me warm, and the exercise made it so I needed to cool down, chomping on clumps of icy snow whenever I came across any. The three of us had separated, moving to cover more ground. I caught interesting scents of lynxes and even black bears, but I saw no recent signs of any predators. Some might hibernate, but not all. Were they hiding from us? Or something else?

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