“Must have been quite a shock.” Oliver’s eyes held empathy.
Again, Jake’s throat was tight. “On a scale of one to ten, I’d say a fifty. I don’t know what I’m going to do about it.”
“Joshua told me Nikki Reardon is the mother?”
Jake nodded. “I assume you remember her?”
Oliver snorted. “Are you kidding me? Of course I remember Nikki. You panted after her for years. It was painfully obvious that you were a one-woman kind of guy.”
“Well, I screwed that up, too. I abandoned her just like I abandoned my brothers. I’m sorry, Oliver. Sorry for what happened to you.”
“I doubt you could have done anything. Josh tried to reach me. Mom did, too. But I was so damn angry. The anger ate me alive.”
“Will you tell me what happened? If you want to,” Jake said quickly. “I only had snippets from Josh.”
“Sure,” Oliver said. “But do you mind if we walk out to the falcon? I need to stretch my legs.”
They climbed the fence and set off, striding along the makeshift trail that wound around the quarry. The underbrush was heavy. At times they had to scale fallen trees. After three quarters of a mile, they reached their destination. The falcon was an enormous boulder, shaped vaguely like Han Solo’s famous spaceship. The broad, flat surface was perfect for hanging out, drinking beer or simply enjoying the summer sun.
Today, the November water below wasn’t blue. It was murky and threatening. No temptation at all to chance a swim.
They sat down and got comfortable.
Oliver pitched a pebble into the quarry, his expression pensive. “I headed out for Harvard just a few weeks after you left. I was glad to leave Falling Brook, even though my tuition was only paid up for a year. I was furious with Dad. That anger moved with me, fueling the usual freshman-year screwing around. But I couldn’t let it go, even though those feelings were poisoning me. Drugs and alcohol dulled the pain.”
Jake’s stomach twisted with guilt. He was silent for a moment. Stunned. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”
Oliver shrugged. “I needed to sort myself out. Things are good for me now, and I’ve been sober for years. I’m finally happy. But our father still has a lot to answer for.”
“Josh said you went to visit him?”
“I did. He looked old, Jake. Old and pitiful. But when I saw him, all that anger came back, and it scared the hell out of me. He immediately criticized me for being a photographer. Same old crap. I asked about the stolen money. He said it was his. At that point, I knew he’d never change. I walked out. I won’t let him destroy me a second time.”
“I’m really proud of you, you know. You’re very good at what you do. Our father is an asshole. Josh and I went, too,” Jake said slowly, remembering and sorting through his own emotions. “Actually, we were summoned. But when we got there, the old man apparently changed his mind. Sent us away.”
“What a bastard. But then again, perhaps you were lucky. Did you really want to talk to him?”
“Maybe. I don’t know. I became a man without a country because of him. Falling Brook was unbearable. I went on my graduation trip and just never came back. Because of him, I’ve lived my life in slow motion. Slow to forgive, slow to process my feelings. Slow to mend the rift with you and Joshua.”
“And Nikki?”
“Her most of all. I ran into her five years ago in Atlantic City. We had a...thing. But I let her slip through my fingers again. When Josh called and said Dad had been found, I took it as a sign that maybe it was time to deal with my own failures.”
They sat there in silence. Although Jake couldn’t speak for Oliver, he suspected the two of them were juggling the same mishmash of regrets.
Finally, Jake exhaled. “So, are there any women in your life?”
Oliver’s broad grin caught Jake off guard. “As a matter of fact, there is a woman. Samantha. We just got engaged. And we’re expecting a baby.”
“Well, hell, man. You buried the lead. Congratulations.” Jake envied the fact that his brother was clearly thrilled about fatherhood. Oliver wasn’t conflicted, like Jake.
“Sammi is a firecracker. You’ll love her. She’s had a tough life, but she’s one of the strongest women I know.”
“How did you meet?”
Oliver ducked his head, his expression sheepish. “A one-night stand. But it turned into something more, really fast.”
Jake winced inwardly. His one-night stand with Nikki was at the root of his troubles. Did he regret it? How could he? It was arguably the best night of his life. But he’d been terrified by what he felt for her after a decade of nothing. She had changed, grown up. Though he wouldn’t have thought it possible, she’d been even more intensely appealing than the teenage girl he had known all those years ago.