“You’re doing it again, Ellie.”
Her eyes narrowed at the way he said her fake name, a pang of guilt surging through her.
“You keep interrupting yourself mid-sentence, then question yourself, almost as if you aren’t sure if you’re telling the truth. Was that truly the reason you were never taught?” he asked.
“I…” she opened her mouth to speak, yet doubled down on her silence once more, ducking her head.
“You can tell a passerby of your life,” he encouraged. “It isn’t like we’ll see each other again. How about this. If you tell me, I’ll tell you something private about myself.”
“Well…it’s quite complicated. It’s my Aunt,” she placed a hand over her mouth, afraid that it might seem as if she was trying to tarnish her extended family’s reputation, “I mean, they’re wonderful people; they took me in, took care of me and provided me with the bare necessities of life, so I don’t wish to speak ill of them. I just never felt—”
Before her rumblings could continue, his warm hand caressed her skin, and his lips touched her own, sending waves of tremor and eagerness over her body.
She felt that familiar surge of desire, the very one she once felt at the ball, the day her first kiss was stolen away from her, and this one felt very much the same, only with intensified worry. Worry that perhaps this could be her doom; worry that he was fooling her; worry that she would inevitably fall for a man she could never be with. And before her body allowed her to realize what was happening, she knew she was kissing him back.
Her eyes shut, feeling Simon’s hand caress its way to the nook of her neck, as her own elbows moved, then relaxed on his shoulders, grasping onto his wet hair.
She didn’t want to ruin this fleeting moment in her life, but the chime of a mantel clock by the pianoforte pushed her back in fear.
“I…you…we… “ She couldn’t utter a word, not after what had just happened. She felt feverishly hot, her voice cracked more times than she could count, and she refused to make eye contact with Simon. No matter what. “Why did you do that?”
“You seemed nervous.”
“Yes, but…you cannot kiss me!”
“And why is that?”
Her eye twitched at his implication and nerve. He truly was shameless. She was both angry and taken aback, and while one side of her wanted to erase what had just occurred, another wanted to capture the moment forever in her heart.
No, what am I thinking? My goodness, he is making me act crazy.
She jumped to her feet in a rush, her eyes flickering around the room to anything that wasn’t him. “I think…I think I’ll retire to my chambers. I…we can leave the pianoforte lessons for another day. As for your leg, I can—”
“Don’t bother with it, see,” he lifted his leg a little, “back to normal.”
“Oh. Umm.” She rushed to the door, opening it wide, ready to escape.
“Oh, and Ellie,” he added. She didn’t dare turn to face him. “I know how it feels to…not belong. And it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Goodnight.”