Page 40 of Only The Strong

“Honestly I wish I could find something like what you and Cale had.” His confession jolts me from my thoughts.

I shake my head, my thoughts then drifting back to Callum and fresh tears threatening to fall. “We didn't have anything that special, Mason,” I lie.

His unique green eyes lock onto mine and I can tell he’s thought about this a lot. “Yes, you did. You two were it for each other. You still could be if circumstances were different, I guess.”

Too choked up to say anything else I say, “You’ll find who you’re supposed to be with too, Mase.”

He bites the inside of his lip, still deep in thought. “Maybe.”

39

CALLUM

I wishI could still live without my heart. I don’t need it anyway, it doesn’t do anything good for me. After Kaity cheated on me it hurt for months. Day in and day out it felt like fucking heartburn until slowly the burn eased into nothing and eventually that’s all I felt: nothing. I went a long time with it not feeling anything; just pumping blood. Fucking nothing, just sitting there. Reese came along and my heart finally started fucking doing something again; it started beating for her. Then she left and she took it with her, and now all I’m left with is a constant tightening feeling in my chest. It’s hard to breathe, every fucking day it’s a struggle to breathe.

My pounding headache wakes me and I know it’s one of those headaches that won't go away until I get up and do something about it. I roll over and sit on the edge of the bed, dragging my hands down my face to clear some of the fog from my brain. I flick on the bedside lamp because the blackout shades have made it completely dark in here and I can't see a damn thing. Honestly, I don't even know if it's day or night. After sitting with my head in my hands for way too long, I finally get up and take a shower. I can smell the alcohol bleeding from my pores and it's making me nauseous. I grab my new cut off of the chair beside the door and slide it on over my gray tee shirt. I was able to stop wearing the sling a few days ago and it feels great to be able to dress easily and move like normal, even if my ribs are still a little sore sometimes. I walk down the stairs of the clubhouse hoping I can convince someone to make me some food and find me the Tylenol.

I’m at the bar eating my breakfast and sipping on some whiskey to hopefully clear up this hangover when Saint takes the barstool next to mine.

“Mason told me you’re staying here.” Well hello to you too, asshat.

I roll my eyes and take another sip. “I can't go home.” I actively avoid looking at his cocky face.

“Why?” He sets his keys and phone on the bartop in front of himself.

“Every room I walk into smells like her; she’s just fucking everywhere.” I had to leave, I wallowed in my self pity for a few days and then my sadness turned into rage and I almost destroyed everything in my townhouse. I’ve been staying at the clubhouse since, drinking all night and sleeping most of the day. I know I need to clean my act up, my company can't stay in the hands of my office manager for much longer.

Saint sighs. “You’re Callum fucking Moran, Sargent at Arms for The Devil’s Outlaws. Clean the fuck up and remember who the fuck you are. You don’t cry over some bitch.”

That gets my attention. I turn to look at him and glare at his stupid fucking face. “Call her a bitch again and I'll cut your tongue out.”

Saint’s face breaks into the biggest shit eating grin. “Good to know you're still in there somewhere.” We laugh, breaking the tension that has been hanging over me for weeks. I might be in the shittiest mood, but I love this man. He looks down at my first meal of the day. “Why are you eating a grilled cheese?” He scrunches his nose in disgust. Of course, the prince doesn't eat grilled cheese sandwiches.

I take a bite of my sandwich. “It’s all Tracey knows how to make.”

He cocks his head, still staring at my sandwich. “Is it good?”

I finish off my small glass of whiskey. “Not at all.” We break into laughs again.

Saint grabs his keys and phone off of the bar. “Come on, let's go to Big Dawgs. Randy will make you something edible.”

I take another look at the pitiful sandwich, it really was terrible and Randy is a great cook. I push the plate away and stand from the bar. “ Tracey, your grilled cheese was shit!” I halfheartedly yell into the kitchen.

“Fuck off, Cale!” Tracey screams from the kitchen as Saint and I are about to walk out of the front door.

40

REESE

A few more days have passed withoutany progress in finding my stalker. We’ve had the notes and my apartment examined for fingerprints, but that led to dead ends. Now Mason and Miles are scanning through my cameras to see if there was any activity we may have missed. Maybe the cameras caught him lurking around the building or maybe he didn't completely cut everything from when he broke in. We’re hoping for some sort of mistake, but combing the cameras from my house, the stop lights surrounding my complex is a very slow process. Since Mason and Miles have been working together, Jack, Leo, and Wyatt have split his shifts to watch over me. Tonight is Leo’s turn, but Mason is coming over for dinner so I invited Leo to come along as well. I made a really great kielbasa pasta dish that I found online. It’s really great but honestly, I'd rather be eating ice cream.

“Holy shit, Princess. This is actually good.” Leo says through a mouthful of pasta and sausage.

I glare across the table at him. “Wow thanks, Leo.” Mase and Leo laugh at my expense, bringing me out of my head and back into the moment. It’s been great seeing my friends more often since I ended things with Callum, but these boys just have a way of making their way into your heart and making everything feel like it'll be okay for a few hours. I think it’s the bond they share with one another. They devote their lives to the club and would do anything for each other; sometimes it feels like they feel that way about me too. Trying to keep the mood light, I try to think of something I can talk to Leo about; we’ve never really talked that much before. “How’s the blonde?” It was the first thing that came to mind and I immediately feel like an idiot for bringing up the girl they are both sleeping with.

“Which one?” Leo smirks as he lifts the beer bottle to his lips.

Well, I guess I'm stuck riding this conversation out. “The short one with big boobs?” I try.

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