&nbs

p; “Stop staring and close your mouth, Alicia, you look like a guppy,” I said smiling at the rapt enjoyment on my baby sister’s face.

I was rewarded with a jab to the ribs. “I can’t help it, Abby. I’m sure you weren’t any better your first time.”

I nodded. “True, but I at least tried to look normal. Quit gawking at everything. People are starting to stare,” I whispered to her, though I knew she didn’t care in the least.

Honestly, I didn’t care either, but a big sister has to poke fun at her little sister, right? I scanned the ballroom for the two faces I’d been avoiding for months. Hoping they’d be here. Hoping I could tell them face to face what I’d decided.

My heart stopped when I saw them. There they were, across the ballroom, both sets of eyes boring into me, bringing a warm flush to my cheeks and butterflies to my stomach. Luca with his gorgeous hazel eyes and full lips and Chase’s sculpted features and stoic expression made warmth spread not just to my face, but across my whole body. Each was was a god in his own way and they both wanted me. And boy did I want both of them.

Memories from our first time together flashed through my head— two chests pressed against me, four hands exploring my flesh, teasing, fingering, and two mouths sucking, biting, whispering. The way the two of them worshiped me, giving attention to even the most “taboo” parts of my body and the sensations they opened me to, all of it came crashing down on me.

With each step I took towards Chase and Luca, pressure built and a heavenly weight descended on my lady parts as the film behind my eyes kept rolling. Chase’s hands spreading my legs as Luca devoured my neck and breasts. Chase’s tongue teasing my thighs then swirling around my folds before making me come with just the tip of his tongue and a single, thick finger. Luca pulling out his magnificent hard cock, putting it in my hand and whispering that he wanted to see me put it in my mouth. Chase grabbing my hips and flipping me over to my hands and knees, then burying himself in me while Luca guided his huge dick between my lips.

Being craved and ravished so intensely by two men was the highest high I’d ever experienced.

A shiver crept across my back and down my legs as I remembered the three of us peaking in near unison. But the delightful shiver quickly turned to a cold chill of dread as I remembered what happened next.

A glare of blinding light I’d only later realize was a camera flash. Chase and Luca yelling, running nude after whoever took the photos and me so high on endorphins I couldn’t make heads of tails of the situation. I’d find out the next day that my father was only able to keep my face off the front page because his former classmate was the content editor for the trashy magazine. He’d given my father a cursory call and made him a deal. They’d blur the faces of everyone involved if he agreed to pay the GDP of a small nation.

He did. And that’s why I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t risk getting caught with two men again. I turned away from the men I so desperately wanted to be with and headed out of the ballroom.

I hated what I was about to do to them. I hated giving them up. I hated that it took me so long to figure out what I needed to do. And I hated the sick feeling in my stomach as I walked further and further from the only men in the world who’d ever made me think, and laugh, and love as hard as they made me orgasm. I made my way through the ballroom to the lobby and all the way in the elevator before I lost my composure.

Tears rolled down my cheeks as the gravity of what I was about to do slammed into me. I leaned against the back of the elevator, trying my best not to slide down the wall and sob into my arms. The last thing I wanted was to leave these men. But what other choice did I have? Before the elevator dinged at my floor I’d pulled myself together, wiping away the tears and smudged mascara. Luckily, the floor was deserted and I was able to get to the room without anyone noticing me.

I’d booked the room under a pseudonym, no had one noticed me leaving the ball, and my floor was empty. With a little luck, I’d be able to get through this without causing another scandal. Ending things with Chase and Luca would be hard enough. I didn’t need the whole of the Upper East Side knowing about it and judging us.

That’s what this is all about, isn’t it? Other people’s opinion of you. Fearing their judgment if they knew— what? How fiercely you loved and were loved? Doesn’t that seem ridiculous?

“Well, yes but I can’t cause another Page Six scandal for my father to fix,” I said out loud to my thoughts.

I let myself into the room, crossed the living area and opened the door to the balcony. Standing there, thirty-five floors above street level and looking out at the New York skyline let me breathe easier for the first time since I’d arrived at the ball. Being so high and away from the noise had a calming effect on my thoughts.

I took a deep breath of cool night air and looked up at the starless sky. Never in a million years would I have thought I’d be in this position— falling for two men and having to break their hearts. I wrapped my arms around myself but before I could, someone else’s arms slipped between, pulling me against their chest.

I sighed and leaned in, breathing in the cedar and orange scent I knew so well. “Luca,” I whispered as he held me tighter. He said nothing as he pressed the broadness of his muscled chest against my back.

It broke me. I cried softly and Luca hugged me tighter and closer. He didn’t say anything, he didn’t “shhh” in my ear, or tell me it would be okay. He just held me and let me cry.

Chapter Four

Luca

I hated seeing her cry. I hated, even more, thinking about what might be causing her tears. Her whole body shook against me as she sobbed silently and I did the only thing I could. I held her and let her cry until she was done.

A few moments passed and Chase joined us, giving me a “what’s going on look” when he took in the scene. I shook my head, but the way I figure there were only two reasons she’d cry. One, she decided she couldn’t be with us. Or two, she missed us as much as we missed her and those were happy tears.

I wasn’t holding my breath on that last one.

Chase touched her face. “Hey, why all the tears?” He smiled at her and Abby let out a tiny, tortured laugh.

She pulled away from me, eyes glancing back and forth to both of us. “Because this is all so stupid! You two are the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I don’t want to give you up. But I just can’t handle being secretive anymore, and I definitely can’t put my father in a position to save me from Page Six again.” Abby sighed and collapsed into Chase’s arms. “I just don’t see how this can work.”

The fist in the center of my chest loosened at her words. It wasn’t the best news, it wasn’t what I wanted to hear but it wasn’t a rejection either.

She wanted us. She wanted both of us as much as we wanted her. Chase and I shared a look as he stroked her hair. “Abigail, that’s music to my ears.” Abby pulled away and gave him a questioning look.