Page 65 of The Roommates

“I want a pool party.”

I stared at her, hoping she’d fess up without too much prodding. I wasn’t up for dragging the truth out of her.

Alana ducked her head. “You’ve been really sad since they went home. Likereallysad. And you looked even sadder when you saw them yesterday, and I don’t want you to be sad.”

“It’s been a long few days.”

“But I’ve never seen you so sad. Even when Dad left you weren’t sad. You just didn’t yell as much anymore.”

Guilt, thy name is Mother. I mentally scrubbed my face and tried to find an answer.

“If you want to marry them, that’s okay with us,” Alana said.

Damn it. Fuck. God fucking damn it. “I don’t have alet’s get marriedkind of relationship with Tanner and Colin.”

“Yet.” Alana’s reply echoed the thought I didn’t dare indulge. “But how will you know if you could, if you stop talking to them?”

Could someone please stop my children from growing up so quickly? “What happened towhen people break up, other people get hurt?”

Alana frowned. “But you’re already hurt.”

“All right.” That wasn’t what I should say, but my mouth refused to grasp any other words. “I’ll invite them to your party, but don’t be surprised if they can’t make it.”

“Yay.” Alana and Harmony cheered and clapped in unison.

What was I doing?

I didn’t know anymore.

28

tanner

When Colinand I got home from the hospital, I tugged him into my room. “I’m supposed to keep an eye on you for at least twenty-four hours. Doctor’s orders.”

“We don’t want to go against the doctor.” Colin’s smile was warm. Genuine. Reassuring.

“My point exactly.” I pulled him into bed and pressed myself into his back. This felt natural—how did I miss that before? How did I deny it for so long?

He snuggled closer. “You have no idea how many times I dreamed of something like this.”

It was still strange hearing that he’d seen me as more than a friend for so long, but unlike before, my hesitation was gone. I needed to make the most of it. “I’m sorry I didn’t see it. In you and in me.”

“Did Tanner Hagen just apologize for something?” Colin looked over his shoulder, teasing in his voice.

I laughed. “Don’t get used to it.”

“Oh, I plan to.”

I didn’t mean to fall asleep, but the tension and uncertainty that had haunted me for days was lifting, and laying here with Colin feltsoright.

I woke up to him stirring. The clock said it was nearly noon. I reluctantly extracted myself from the bed, a to-do list ticking off in my head. Still, I had to stop and look at Colin, half awake and looking every bit like my future.

“What?” Colin asked.

I shook my head. “Just basking in the moment.”

“Fuck. Give a guy a little love and all the sudden you turn all sappy on me.”

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