Page 62 of Asking For It

“If it was me that this happened to, would you tell me it was my fault?”

“I don’t know.”

“But you do,” Anne said gently. “You know and I know this isn’t on you. They lied. It’s not up to you to read between the lines every time. You have to trust people sometimes, and it’s their fault for breaking that trust. You’re more than that. You deserve better.”

I wasn’t sure I agreed with that last bit. I leaned into her, sobbing and unable to grasp more words.

She held me until I was done, then got me a damp paper towel to wash my face, and something to drink.

“What are we doing tonight?” Anne asked.

“I’m going to curl up in a ball and vanish.” The crying was inevitable, but it didn’t help me feel better.

Anne stood and tugged me to my feet. “Then I’ll stay with you while you do that.”

“If you’re here, then technically I haven’t vanished.” I followed her upstairs, lacking the strength to protest.

“Then I guess I can’t let you vanish.”

The words were enough to tug more tears loose. Would I ever stop crying?

Anne loaded one action movie after another, always picking those with no romance. She ordered pizza, but I couldn’t stomach food. I nibbled a couple of bites to keep her happy, and couldn’t manage more.

She fell asleep, head in my lap, around midnight. I gently moved her aside to make some coffee. If my dreams were going to be the same as last night, I wasn’t having it.

By the time the sun rose, I’d numbed the pain enough to do something resembling functioning. Anne offered to go to the zoning hearing with me, but I shooed her off to work. She was busy, and I refused to let her miss two days in a row because I’d given my hea— Made a mistake with who I trusted.

Neither Kingston nor Owen was at the hearing. Because no one showed to argue for changing the zoning, and because I had my paperwork in order to show why it should stay as-is, the request was dismissed.

Arrogant idiots. All that trouble for nothing, on their part.

Unless Kingston never intended to pursue it after we got close.

I couldn’t believe that. Refused. It was the only way to cling to any bit of sanity.

As I was leaving, Ramsey caught up to me.

“Hey, I heard you guys split,” he said.

I smiled too brightly. Toning it down meant falling apart. “Split implies what we had was real.” Was it better or worse that I said with so much enthusiasm and cheer?

Ramsey shook his head. “I’m glad things went your way. I love the café, and you shouldn’t have to change how you do business.”

“Thank you.” I was too much sunshine, but I couldn’t lower the glare. “Can I do anything else for you?”

“I wanted you to know, it wasn’t Kingston who pushed the hearing up. I assumed, and I shouldn’t have. The clerk said it was one-hundred percent a scheduling issue.”

“That’s fine. I need to run. Have a fantastic day.”

Ramsey’s smile was weak. “You too.”

I was numb. I wasn’t thinking about Kingston and Owen. The only way to get through this was to stay icy until the pain receded. On the way home, I stopped at the grocery store. The ice cream called my name, and I’d forgotten to sneak in an order with my supplier. But I still hated that I ate so much last time. I grabbed a box of sugar free ice pops instead. Those would hit my sweet tooth perfectly, and keep me from getting dehydrated from the coffee I also stocked up on.

Every time I dozed off, as the night wore on, the nightmares rushed back. That coffee was a lifesaver.

I was more alert on Thursday. The world around me was in focus, and all I had to do was keeping looking forward. And drink more coffee.

Friday was more of the same, but I was up for getting back to the books. I wouldn’t let my café crumble from neglect, after keeping it out the hands of... assholes.

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