Page 50 of Asking For It

Empty air.

No. Nonononono.

“I fucked up.” Owen’s regret sent fissures of doubt through me.

My blood curdled. I wouldn’t jump to conclusions, no matter how loudly my brain was screaming that this was it. This was when the betrayal happened. “Not what a girl wants to hear after sex, even the long-distance kind.”

“I want to be there. Have you here. Something that lets me touch you. But...” His sigh opened the chasm of doubt wider. “Kingston likes you. Adores you. I— I should let him tell you that but it’s context. I told you I’d do anything for him.”

I didn’t know how to react. My thoughts were split between terror of this being a charade and fear of it being more. Being what my heart hoped for. “Okay?”

“I was supposed to keep my distance. Be the good, supportive friend. His wingman. Let things go where they would with him and you.” The husky, deep sound of Owen’s voice, the one that sent goosebumps racing over me, was back. “And instead I’m falling for you. I don’t want to take you away from him. I want you both—wow, that sounds even better aloud than in my head.”

My heart plummeted into my shoes.I want all of that too, the words jammed in my throat. The lack of response that came out instead had to be the worst thing I could have done... aside from maybe laughing.

Owen bit off a dry chuckle. “Do you know how many logic holes exist in this relationship?”

“This isn’t a relationship.” I cringed at the words. Nope, that was worse than keeping my mouth shut.

“First of all, ouch. Second, anyone you interact with on any sort of ongoing basis is a relationship. You’re making an assumption.”

Not so much, given what he’d just confessed. “Logic holes?”

“Well, I was going to tell you three people don’t stay together long term, but since you don’t see what we have asthat, there’s no point.” He didn’t sound bitter, but his hurt was piercing.

“I had an almost identical conversation with one of my best friends before she married her boyfriends. Plural.” I shouldn’t be presenting counterpoints, not after the way I basically shut him down, but my heart was racing ahead of me, askingwhat if? What if things did last with them? What if everything either of them said was sincere. What if we could have warm fuzzies and fun sex and incredible conversations all the time, forever?

“I bet the three of them trust each other.”

“Implicitly.”

Owen sighed. “Let me rephrase my statement. Three people don’t stay together long term when they don’t trust each other.”

I do trust you. Except when this conversation started, I’d been waiting for the other shoe to drop. Expecting this would be the end ofus.

“You’re not going to deny it,” Owen said.

If only I honestly could. “If I lie and tell youOf course I trust you, that doesn’t help the situation.”

“I see.”

“But I want to.” That was easy to say. Out of all my stalled answers, this one was as direct and real as I got.

“Yeah?” His sadness faded. “What’s it going to take to turn that intoI do?”

Was his phrasing on purpose? Almost always. “You’re doing everything right.” Easier to admit than I expected. My past said they were full of shit. That there was something they were hiding from me, and it was going to destroy me. But that wasn’t based on them. I might not like some of the things they’d approached me with when we met, but as far as I knew, they’d been honest since. “I guess... time. I need time, and that’s on me, not you.”

“I’m willing to keep going and see what happens next if you are. Kingston will be too.”

Terrifying thought. Letting them into my life more than ever before. This was risk versus reward, and they were an incredible reward. “I am.”

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