“Anything I can help you with?” The moment the question slipped out of my lips, I wished to somehow undo it.
Blowing out a small breath, she started with what she had found. “There’s quite a list of organizations and foundations you support. I admit, I was wholly impressed.” Just then, the waiter returned with our order. We both murmured our thanks before we took a moment to drop sugar cubes and stir the steaming java concoction. “I don’t mean to pry, but how come there isn’t much history about you? I could only find information from your University days, nothing about your childhood …”
My, quite the handy little Miss Investigator she had turned out to be. “I don’t deem it necessary for the world to know about my past. What matters is what I have accomplished thus far and what I aim to achieve in the future. Being in business, whatever information I put out there gives competitors and my enemies more fuel to use against me. Why in God’s name would I do that?” I never meant to take a jab at her, but I caught her flinching. Regardless, my past was no one’s concern. I had paid a hefty sum for it to be hidden. Furthermore, it would remain that way for as long as I was alive.
“You’re right,” she reluctantly said. “I sort of got carried away …” Pressing her lips together, she took a cautious sip of her coffee before carefully placing it back on the white, stoneware saucer.
Mine remained untouched as I noted her every move, fascinated yet watchful.
“Reiss was a gardener’s son,” she started, sounding unlike her usual voice. There seemed to be a catch to her tone, as if she was having a tough time with it. “It was the beginning of summer, and I had just gotten back from boarding school.” She paused before she plucked one brown sugar cube from the tiny bowl, placing it on the old wooden table and restlessly toying with it as she pondered about the past. “I went to an exclusive all-girls school, and with the manor full of older people, it didn’t take long for him to get my attention.
“At first, I observed him from afar, but as the days went on and he didn’t even take notice of me, I changed my antics and became bolder. He wasn’t necessarily shy, but I think he did have reservations about me in the beginning…
“Each day, the more we conversed, the more I wanted to know him, and Reiss went so far as to fall in love with me. It think I was starting to feel the same, but by then, my parents had found out my secret, and they were completely against it.”
“Her face contorted with abhorrence before she carried on, “Then, before the summer ended, Ashton—who was my on again, off again boyfriend and one of my father’s friend’s sons—actually came to visit, and I failed to disclose that to Reiss. This resulted with the both of us fighting before I broke things off with him, stating that it was simply a fling, nothing more.
“Reiss took this to heart. Being so upset, he shouldn’t have been drinking that night, but he did. He was obliterated—all four of his friends were before they decided to drive him home …” Wrapping her arms around her, she rubbed her shoulders as though she felt a chilling shiver. “The car crashed into another vehicle, causing a fire, and the authorities pronounced them all dead at the scene.”
“You felt responsible for his death.” It was a statement, not a question.
Fresh tears glassed her beautiful eyes. “Of course.I hurt him. I broke his heart, which led him to his death.”
CHAPTER77
Ava
“We all make mistakes.There’s no need for you to carry a torch for this long. You just have to accept that.” Craig’s unabashed words struck deep into my core.
I appreciated his words of concern, I truly did. However, guilt wasn’t the only thing I held onto. There were so many factors that came into play that it was hard to even think about or discuss with a stranger who simply wouldn’t understand what I was going through, especially a stranger who could be his long-lost twin.
Swiping the tears that threatened to spill down the sides of my face, I tried to hold my composure as I braved a smile. “I understand what you’re saying—of course I do—but there were a lot of things that are quite difficult to put into words. Sometimes”—I paused, shaking my head as I attempted to utter the next few words—“sometimes I dream of him.” Gazing towards the man sitting across from me, I pushed my worries away. “These dreams are of him alive … somewhere.” Holding my breath, I softly blew it out as I prepared myself to say the next difficult words. “You see, once they put out the fire, they never found his body.”
“And …this makes you believe that he’s alive?” He pressed his lips together, eyeing me warily. “I see.”
Though Craig was the mirror of Reiss, I’d have hardly thought Reiss would ever have been as successful as Craig, because Reiss didn’t plan on going to school or doing anything with his life other than working for his dad. Once his father retired, his goal had been to take over his father’s position. He hadn’t held any wild notions of what his future would bring; he had been a simple man—uncomplicated—and had enjoyed the little things in life that most people took for granted.
“Anyhow … enough of my theories and thoughts. I hope this little jaunt made you understand, or maybe not understand, per se, but grasp how it’s been for me.” A part of me hoped he’d want to get in touch, but I knew, after tonight, I wouldn’t be bothering him again. Besides, this whole situation had made me realize I should start focusing back on my marriage.
“Maybe it’s time for me to go back home to my husband in New York. I came out here to clear my head and be around my friends and family”—I took a moment, pausing to gather my breath—“but to be honest, it was because I was getting frustrated with my life. My husband stopped trying to get us pregnant, because he’s been so busy, and I was hurt by that.”
“I was starting to wonder if that ring of yours was just a ploy to make the men stay away from you,” he said in an observing tone, green eyes intense as his gaze dropped on said ring. “Maybe, instead of telling me about your frustrations,you should tell him, and that would solve your problem. Don’t you think so, Ava?”
There was something in his tone I didn’t like. However, in place of addressing what that was about, I merely nodded my head, thinking it was time to call it a night.
“You’re right; maybe it’s time I stop running away from my problems and start addressing them. Ashton won’t know what’s bothering me unless I tell him.”
“Good.”
Trying in earnest not to frown at his drastic change of attitude, I finished sipping my coffee. “You never drank yours.”
“I don’t like milk in my coffee.”
“Oh.” I paused, thinking on how I had been too rash to even consider how he liked his java. “We can order another one. It’s on me.”
His unwavering, penetrating gaze never left me. I hadn’t minded it before, but with his odd turn in behavior, it became glaringly obvious the more he barely spoke to me.
When he didn’t respond to my kind offer, I met his eyes full on. “You seem to stare at me quite a bit.” His gaze had never given out the vibe that it was the creepy sort. It was as if he couldn’t help himself from looking at me. I’d been married for so long these things never swayed me away from Ashton. However, given that this man across from me was similar to my departed beloved, it was becoming harder to deny my attraction to him.