Page 282 of Falling for the Wife

“How can you sound so calm and tell me not to worry? Everything about this is making me bloody worry. You acting rather nonchalant about other women makes me believe you would readily tolerate such behavior from me. I truly apologize if my past actions led you to believe such, but I don’t want any of this. The more time I’ve had to think about it, the more I have come to believe that I don’t want anyone else sparking your interest due to my neglect of you.”

“Reiss, you haven’t neglected me. I just know how these marriages work. I see this sort of relationship happen all the time, so you don’t have to feel awful about it.” She reached out to touch my chest, as if trying to soothe the tension that was wired into my body.

“You’re not getting my point, Ava! Just for a second, please, just listen to me.” Pressing my temples, I pulled myself together and sat up on the bed, somewhat slouched as I blindly stared into the ocean of comforters and sheets. “I want this to work. I don’t want some complicated relationship with you that’s based on an agreement and nothing more. I’m trying to tell you that I want a marriage— a real one—with you.” I suddenly felt nervous when she didn’t respond; however, I didn’t glance back, needing courage to finish what I had to say before facing her and what she thought of it. “I want a family, maybe a couple more kids after this little bun. Marriage has always been on my mind, although I never really thought it would happen since I paid little attention to making it happen before.

“What I told you at The Savoy about me telling the woman I loved to wait because she was who I wanted to marry … it was all a lie. I made that up to somehow build a protection around me, and at the same time, for you not to have any designs other than what we’d agreed upon. I was in the wrong to that because, you see, I had underestimated your power over me.

“I should’ve taken a lesson from the past—it would be an impossibility for me to ever resist you, Ava. Apart from the brilliant chemistry between us, we also have this bond that I’ve shared with no one else. I’m comfortable with you. I can be myself without having to always worry about my partner accusing me of being neglectful. We enjoy each other’s laughter as much as we enjoy our joined silence while we simply drift into our own worlds.

“I have no doubt in my mind that you’re going to be a splendid mother. I also have no reservations that you will do everything in your power to keep us both—the child and I—happy in your care and in our home. You have this calming energy about you that lulls my troubles away. Maybe it’s simply how much you represent one of the happiest times of my life. But none of it matters if you don’t see a future for us, or anything past having the baby.

“Tonight … tonight, I realized how much I wanted you to be there, standing next to me. I actually pictured you whispering silly things or rather fun facts about the people we’d encountered. Your sense of humor is off beat, but I think it’s cute, and I want all of that. I want all of you.

“These past weeks have been nothing short of amazing, and I want this—us—to continue. I want us to be weathering all the good and the bad, hand in hand, as we tackle them together.

“Being with you made me realize how much I need you with me. You make me feel as if I’m truly living. For years, I have been living a lie, believing that everything was perfect and nothing would ever crumble the world I had made for myself, but you came along and proved me wrong. You appeared out of nowhere, just as you had that first time, and effortlessly took my breath away.

“I’m not perfect, nor do I want to be. I have the oddest tendency of being a bastard and unapologetically irrational when jealous. Also, I have the hardest time trying to put my emotions into words, which must tell you how difficult of a journey it was for me to get to the point where I can openly tell you I want this to work, forever if you’re willing.

“I’m sure you already know that you didn’t marry a saint, but I can give you my word that I’m loyal, and I’ll be your greatest advocate, to cheer you on when you’re feeling blue or when your mother decides to grace us with her superiority. I’m going to be here, next to you, holding you because you and I are a unit.

“I also can’t promise that, along the way, I won’t let you down a time or two, and I hope, when that time comes, you won’t give up on me, because even though I know I can be a stubborn fool, I won’t ever leave you. So, to save us both the argument and screams, I’m giving you an advanced warning where that’s concerned.”

I took a moment, recalling everything. “The past made us who we are today, and even though it was a turning point in my life, I didn’t ever regret loving you. True, I hated you on sight, but that all stemmed from rejection, amongst other things. But I have moved past that, setting it aside, and all the emotional baggage I have harbored is gone. I won’t ever forget what it did to me, but it’s time to bury the hatchet and move forward.”

Letting myself look at her, I shifted to fully face her before gathering both of her hands with mine, holding on to them to show her how much I meant all of this. “I care about your happiness, and if you think or doubt for a moment that I’m not the man to give you the kind of joy you’re seeking from a partner, then I’ll gladly step away and let you go, though reluctantly, of course.” Seeking her eyes, I held my breath as I read her eyes, hoping they could clue me in on how she would respond.

“Reiss, I appreciate you telling me this. In fact, you spilling all of those pent up emotions enlightened me as to what you have been going through. But, for the past weeks, haven’t you listened to a word I’ve told you?” She frowned as she made a small shake of her head, as if she couldn’t believe how clueless I was. “Men!” she ferociously exclaimed before giving me the evil eye.

“When I said I loved you, it meant that I’m here for as long as you want me, for as long as you need me. It might sound tragic to some, but I don’t have any pride or ego left, because for ten years, I’ve used it all up. And, now that I have you in the most unconventional ways, I’m willing to make this opportunity work, one way or the other. So, when I say I love you, you shouldn’t think that I will walk away because you’re acting like a bloody fool or the complete insufferable prick that you can truly be at most times … because that’s the thing, I love you even when you’re being such a dastardly bastard.

“I love you in all of your moods and colors. I’ve come to loveyou, Reiss, not all these grand trappings you can provide, though I admit it’s rather impressive. It’syouthat I want, not what you represent.” A tiny smile played on her lips, her eyes glowing with love. “I love you as Reiss, and I love you as Craig, although I love you even more being Craig Reiss Chambers because this man came into my life, turning it upside down, blazing into it with little care for consequences. Though he was resistant in the beginning, our connection was too deep to be ignored. I knew…I just had to wait for the right time that he’ll realize that this time…I’m here to stay.” She smiled. “I had to do a little extra digging to find out what was the connection between the names…money could really be useful sometimes when trying to unlock someone’s past.”

Well, knowing how she worked, I wasn’t even surprised that she went above and beyond to figure this one out without asking me. Typical Ava.

“I—” I cleared my throat, partially grinning. “So, does that mean you’re staying to be my wife? I’m not sure if you heard, but I stated that I wanted to be married forever, and that’s a rather long time. If you change your mind twenty years down the road, you’d have a better success rate at plotting my demise than getting a divorce from me, so you should think long and hard, princess.”

Rolling her eyes, she snorted before taking me down so I was atop her pliant body. “If you’re trying to scare me away, you better do a better job since this rather laughable attempt is too poor of one to be taken seriously.”

I barked a laugh at her comment, grinning from ear to ear before I nuzzled her neck, breathing her in. I felt my body sag against her, already intoxicated by her nearness. This feeling of contentment, this simple sort of happiness, made everything worthwhile. My doubts were cast aside. My mental state was clearer than ever. My heart was creaking its door open slowly. And, as for the rest, I knew what Charlotte had said was true—I wasn’t worthy of her daughter, although I would try forever.

While I was lost in the fluffy haze of my imagination, Ava shifted a bit so her lips were close to my ear. “I have something on my mind that may indirectly affect you,” she informed me in a hushed tone, making me alert and suspicious in a second’s time.

Hating to be parted from my comfortable nook, I frowned at her. “Go on?”

“I was told by numerous women in one of my yoga classes that my breasts would eventually lose a little gravity after childbirth. What happens then? I’m sure you would not be fond of that, and would rather have the rubbery, borderline on softness tits.” She did appear like this was troubling her, which only made her all the more adorable in my eyes.

Using a serious tone, I looked her straight in the eye. “Bloody hell, Ava, do you honestly think I’m that shallow of a man? You’re pregnant with my child, and it’s one of the grandest things any woman could give to a man. I don’t bloody give a damn about tits losing gravity or trails of stretch marks because your skin had to stretch far and wide to cater to my daughter or son. Hell, I’d take on an extra twenty pounds, or fifty, ora hundred,for that matter, if that’s what you’re trying to get at.” I meant every single word, too. I wasn’t toying around with her.

She instantly appeared perplexed, aghast at my suggestion. “Fifty?A hundred?Are you implying that you want me to look like a buffalo?”

Hell. I wouldn’t have minded, one way or the other. Was that so difficult to comprehend? “Buffalo or whatever, you’d be beautiful in all shapes and sizes.”

That seemed to have mellowed her a little. I began to pay homage to her delectable breasts that were soon to lose their gravity—or so she claimed—kissing my way across them. She easily succumbed to my persistent kisses, and opened herself up to me. My cock sprang to life as I started to rub it against her, prolonging the sweet torture. Her kisses went from sweet to feverish, igniting the fire in my blood that only she set ablaze.

“Marry me again, Ava …” I said in between kisses, wanting a second chance at this. Our marriage.

“What?” She paused, eyeing me with scrutiny. “But we just got married!”

---