Page 251 of Falling for the Wife

He was staring at this coffee while his hands were gripping the fork and knife. He had been about to bring the piece of omelet to his mouth yet had stopped midway. His hands shook a little as he locked his jaw, rage seething out of him. His handsome face contorted with emotions, ranging from fury to sadness, desolation, and being gutted alive.

“Why?” he croaked out, still eerily staring at this coffee.

Why?Loneliness and disappointment had been my constant companion for the last several years of being married to him. It wasn’t an excuse—I knew that—but it was the grounds that had led me astray. I had this gaping hole inside of me that needed to connect with another soul, and his emotional unavailability had merely widened this gap.

“First, I need you to understand that my actions are my own, and the blame is solely mine. I thought it best to say that out loud in case there’s any confusion later on. You and I have been leading separate lives ever since we failed at getting pregnant, though it’s not your fault that your workload has quadrupled since your advancement at work. I’ve been quietly dealing with my own heartbreak and feeling inept at conceiving a baby when thousands of women get pregnant on a daily basis. I felt like a failure at doing something that nature has freely given to all females. The nightmares and self-loathing haven’t subsided, though months have passed. I’ve harbored ill feelings towards myself to the point of self-destruction …” It gave me shivers as I recalled the intense feelings I had possessed for myself and how much I had contemplated what my purpose was all about.

“The pain became so toxic it had influenced a lot of bad thoughts—thoughts of suicide, running away, or simply inflicting bodily harm would circle my mind most days. Coming here gave me some enlightenment. Being around Allie chased some of my demons away. But, one night, everything came into place. It was the night I found him—”

“Who’shimprecisely?” he ground out, sounding as if he was about to launch himself at me.

“Reiss. He’s not dead as they say. He’s truly alive, Ash.” I was on the verge of sounding hysterical. I couldn’t seem to contain my excitement as the realization hit me hard. Saying it aloud felt like something was being freed inside my chest. I reveled in the feeling.

He muttered something under his breath as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “So you find him alive after a decade and then what, Ava? You easily spread your legs like you did before and let him fuck you senseless?” He was turning red as he yelled at me.

He got up from the table before he strode towards the middle of the room, as if he needed to gather his thoughts without bearing to see my treacherous face.

His choice of words didn’t even make me flinch, because I’d known he’d eventually lash out at me in one way or another.

“I’m sorry for causing you pain—you must know that—but you also must know the guilt I have carried for so long, and seeing him in the flesh magnified everything for me.”

He spun around as he stared daggers at me before something dawned on me.

“Wait … how come you aren’t even shocked upon hearing the news he isn’t dead, that Reiss is in fact alive?” I eyed him with utmost scrutiny.

He shook his head, looking away again. This time, I caught something in his eyes. Was that shame?

My heart pounded against my chest as I slowly got up. The scraping of the chair against the floor made me flinch as I watched him closely. “Ashton?” His lack of response made me all the more nervous. “You’re hiding something from me. What is it you’re not telling me?” I almost screeched out the question, feeling as if my heart was about to burst out of my body as I watched the guilt on his face. It said it all. “No—” I gasped, disbelieving. “You couldn’t have …”

My head throbbed as everything came into place. “What part did you have of it?”

“Nothing. I had no part of it … but I knew what your father was up to.”

“My father?” I barked out, shaking my head.

His throat bobbed as he apologetically gazed at me with saddened eyes. “Yes. It was your father who made him go away.”

CHAPTER88

Ava

My father.My sweet, loving,deceitfulfather was the man behind all of this. The suffering I had endured for years on end had been blatantly committed by my own flesh and blood.

My ears were ringing. My heart thudded as I disdainfully stared at the man I had shared a decade with—ten years of him witnessing the pure torment that my guilt-ridden conscience had done to me. In all this time, he had never uttered a damn word to tell me the cause of my misery wasn’t dead, that he was in fact somewhere in England, hiding away as he carried on with his life. Whereas I, idiot Ava, had blindly lived life as if I wasn’t all there. Yes, I had lived and breathed, but I hadn’t beenallthere in my body, in my mind and in my soul. I had functioned, yet I hadn’t truly been alive.

My family were the ones who had caused me pain. It hurt to even look at Ashton.

“How could you do this to me? You’ve sacrificed my happiness for your own selfishness. I will not forgive you for this!” Hissing the words out, I scrambled out towards the bedroom, grabbed my purse while I slipped into my nude pumps, and then dashed out towards the main door.

Ashton tried to block me from leaving. “We need to sort this out. You can’t just leave without talking to me, Ava!”

Nostrils flaring, I elbowed his chest as I fought to be set free. “Let. Me. Go! Or so help me God, you will regret ever marrying me!” I thrashed as his hold lessened around me. We were both breathing raggedly as he fully let me go.

Straightening my clothes, I glared at him.

“I shall wait for your return, whenever that maybe. Rest assured, dear wife, I will be here.”

Almost running out of the hotel, I fumed as I walked hurriedly, as though the hounds of Hell were chasing me. My scrambled thoughts didn’t help ease the deep-seated betrayal Ashton’s revelation had caused. Much more so at the knowledge that my father had been involved in Reiss’s disappearance from my life.

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