Page 482 of Now and Forever

Chapter 182

The next day, I wake still curled up on the floor. I slowly stand and go inside my bedroom to cry more in bed.

I need to cry it out before I head back to the hospital tomorrow. If Drake wakes up and sees me in a terrible state, I don’t want him to blame himself.

He’d think it was his fault that I lost the baby, but I know it is mine. I was negligent. I barely ate; especially with the stress level I was going through with Drake. I was advised to take proper nutrition and hydrate all the time, but I didn’t. It’s my fault that I lost my baby.

When I wake the following morning, Mom is downstairs cooking me breakfast. “Good morning. Drake’s awake. I came by to make sure you’re doing fine and to tell you the news.”

I feel relief, but not enough to dull the pain inside me. The hollowness hasn’t left me. “I will be going out to see him later.”

Mom plants a plate before me, a mushroom and cheese omelet with a glass of orange juice. She then kisses my forehead and whispers, “Stay strong. There’s no one to blame. Sometimes life has its own way of dealing with things. I’m sorry you have to go through this, though. Do you want to talk about it?”

My chest feels heavy. Each breath I take hurts. “No, I need time to cope with it first. Don’t tell Drake anything yet.”

“We know. It isn’t our place to tell him that. Whenever you’re ready, then you can do that yourself.”

I silently eat my breakfast. I’m not hungry, but I force it down, anyway.

Mom waits until I’m ready to head back to the hospital. I’m relieved to find Drake sleeping when I get there.

After an hour, he wakes, asking for me. “Where’s Lily?”

I get up and get my crap together. “Hey, nice to finally see you up and awake.” I smile at him as I walk toward his bed.

He groggily smiles at me, reaching for my hand. I clasp it with mine, needing assurance, needing his love and his warmth. “I made it,” Drake whispers happily.

I wipe the tears running down my face. “You did. Thank you for that. I wouldn’t have forgiven you if you didn’t.”

“Don’t cry. I’ll get better, I promise. I’ll be as good as new when our baby comes.” Drake slowly reaches out and softly wipes my tears away.

Not knowing what to say, I simply nod.

“I’m tired, but I want you to stay close. I love knowing that you’re here, holding my hand,” he whispers before his eyes start to close.

“I’ll be here. I promise.”

A small smile forms on his lips, eyes still shut. “I love you,” he manages to whisper. I know he’s asleep when his grip softens.

I sit next to him, kissing his hand and telling him how much I love him, too.

??

Drake isn’t allowed to go home for two weeks.

In those two weeks, I entertain him with board games, reading and watching movies. Drake slowly regains his strength. I have successfully dodged all of his questions about the baby, answering them vaguely.

It works, for a bit, but the day before he’s to be discharged, he asks again.

I come into his room around ten in the morning with breakfast in hand. “Good morning! Did you sleep well?” I ask.

“I did, thanks. Now, come over here and give me a kiss.” I laugh at his demand. Apart from the bandage around his head, Drake looks almost like his old self. I bend over and give him a kiss. I expect it to be quick, but I’m surprised when he takes hold of my head and devours my lips. Kissing me so passionately, it breaks my heart. When he lets go of me, I’m out of breath. We both pant as we stare at each other.

“I’ve been meaning to do that. I wanted to wait until we were home, but you came in here looking so beautiful, I couldn’t help it.” Drake holds my hand and plants a kiss on it.

“I’ve missed you, too.”

We eat breakfast as we watch CNN. “You’re twelve weeks today, right? What time is your appointment?” he inquires while his attention turns back to the television screen.

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