Page 412 of Now and Forever

Feeling hopeless, I had been a wreck as I had tried to scream and kick the door with all my might to no avail. The entire time, Benjamin and Felix had remained unconscious as I had bellowed at the top of my lungs, telling them to wake up. When all hope had left me, I had actually thought Benjamin had opened his eye a crack, smiling at me as if he had been telling me it was okay, that I should stop acting hysterical and save myself before the whole thing blew up.

I remembered screaming through my tears as my hand had imprinted on the window glass, saying goodbye to Benjamin, Rory, Tom, and Felix—my best friends.

They had all died in one fatal blow because I had been too rotten and selfish to think about anyone’s welfare. I had been too pathetically heartbroken to take it like a real man should.

And, just like that, I had started running as far as my legs could take me with no direction. I didn’t know when I had fallen asleep, yet when I had woken up, Charles Watson had been there to greet me with a proposal that had changed my life for good.

Accepting his proposition was the coward’s way out; however, I hadn’t seen another option at the time. With all of the guilt from losing my best friends in the blink of an eye and the hate-filled fury I had possessed for Ava, I couldn’t fathom going back to my old life. The mere thought of being surrounded by the people who reminded me I was the only one living when all of my friends had died was unconscionable. What’s more, I hadn’t needed a reminder of Ava. If possible, I had wanted to forget her altogether.

Therefore, I had, or so I had led myself to believe.

Not fairing any better than when I had first gotten to the pub, I kindly asked the barman to call me a cab. I was no longer the reckless teenager who thought he could take on whatever when drunk. Losing my friends had taught me my limitations—to know when I’d had enough.

The ride from the bar towards my home went by in a blur. I arrived past midnight, and just as expected, the house was still and quiet. Racing up the steps, I sought Ava’s room, thinking how inconvenient it was to be staying in separate quarters when most of the time I found myself there, anyhow.

That was one of the things I wanted to address. I wanted her to move all of her things to my room so we didn’t have to pretend as if we truly wanted privacy. It was high time to fix the huge misstep I had taken by pushing her away.

Standing outside her door, I stretched my neck from side to side, hoping to release some of the tension, before taking a lungful of air and willing myself to open the door.

What was on the other side was as terrifying as it was splendid. My next steps could lead me to everything I had ever wished for …… or everything my nightmares were made of.

---