Page 313 of Now and Forever

Drawing my hand away from him, I curled it against my chest while continuing to face him. “What’s going to happen to Zara?”

Callum sighed again.

I was a masochist because I kept pestering for more information. “Are you going back to her?”

He remained silent.

When he sighed for the third time, he followed it with his answer. “I honestly don’t know how to answer that.”

Shit. I simply had to know. “You’re still in love with her, aren’t you?” Yep, I was a major masochist.

Callum brought his arm across his eyes, covering them. “Maybe… I don’t know anymore,” he murmured, pausing for a few seconds. “Zara…” he said her name without hate, for the first time. “Zara was my life. When I lost her, I didn’t think I’d survive. Three years later, I’m in this confusing position. I’m not sure if I’m willing to take the risk again.”

Yeah, I’d bet my entire life that he was in love with her still. As much as it pained me to hear him talk about her, I needed to be the bigger person. This was my brother’s best friend after all, the one who’d taken me under his wing when I didn’t have anyone else.

“I suppose this is the time to fix everything,” I carried on. “She’s waiting for you.”

“I’m hesitant—” he paused. “She broke my heart, Stella. I loved her so much. Gave her everything of me… Zara could hurt me again and I don’t know how I’d cope if I had to go through a second round of heartbreak.” Callum was exposing himself to me. I felt his reluctance towards Zara, but it was obvious that he had thought about it a lot.

How long had he thought about going back to her? I had to wonder. Did he imagine it was Zara each time he took me? If I based it to that time he fell asleep on top of me and whispered her name, then yes, maybe he did, often.

Putting my heartbreak on the side, I dwelled on Callum’s dilemma. I could cry later, but right now, the man I loved needed my help. So I was going to pretend that I didn’t care about him. “If she really loves you, then she’s worth all the heartache and pain.” How painful was this? I was pushing him to get back with Zara. Even if my heart was irrevocably broken, I wanted him happy. He had gone through so much devastation and I believed it was his turn to be with his love again.

“Thank you for being here, Stella,” he said, not knowing that he was crushing my heart into shards. “You’re a great listener and a good friend.”

Ouch.

Fuck. The friend part did me in.

“Goodnight, Callum.” I had nothing left to say, so I rolled back to the other side, facing away from him.

“Goodnight.”

Silently, I kept to myself. Counting down the time until it was time to leave.

At the crack of dawn, I double checked to see if Callum was asleep. He seemed like he was, though his position remained the same. I granted myself a minute to study his face because I knew I might never have another opportunity to do so again.

With a heavy heart, I scrambled out of bed and dashed out of the house without brushing my teeth or putting any make-up on. I simply slid out of bed, changed clothes, gathered my work things and left the house to go to my own flat.

It feels weird to be back in my own place, I thought as I opened the door.

“Fuck!” I screeched when I saw a full frontal of Mark. “Jesus! Bloody fuck!”

Mark had the audacity to laugh at me when it should’ve been the other way around.

“For fuck’s sake, Mark, put some clothes on!” I covered my eyes as I scrammed towards my bedroom.

Luciana and Mark were obviously shagging now. As happy as I was that they had finally gotten that out of the way, I couldn’t help smiling and shivering at the memory of Mark’s naked body. That was beyond awkward.

I had to make a mental reminder to sit those two down and make pointers about proper flatmate etiquette when it came to nakedness and sex. I loved them both, but if they kept me awake at all hours because of their hard and noisy romping, I’d find my own place.

Much to my relief, I didn’t see Mark or Luciana when I came out to leave for work. Although, at about eleven, I finally heard a knock on my office door. I didn’t need to look up to guess that it was Luciana with some sort of explanation. This I couldn’t wait to hear, obviously.

“Morning, love.” Luciana was dressed in an all white pantsuit, which emphasized every curve. The mischievous spark in her eyes was something new, however. I was sure Mark Cotswold was the one who had lit it up.

“You’re chirpy.”

She grinned before rolling her eyes at me. “Okay, we’re shagging. Tons. Hell, Stella! He’s amazing!” she let on, giddy at the thought of Mark. Luciana was a lot of things, but giddy wasn’t part of her Italian, sophisticated DNA.

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