Page 239 of Now and Forever

“What the fuck is this for?” I shrieked, almost throwing the card back at him, offended beyond comprehension.

If he had a clue about what was going through my mind, he had best pay heed. However, it seemed he was dense when it came to women’s feelings because he didn’t seem to understand what my about-to-lose-it face meant.

“I need you to have a new work wardrobe consisting of skirts and dresses. You’re banned from wearing trousers.”

Well, I’ll be damned.

“Excuse me? Banned, you say?” My eyes turned into slits as I tried to contain the combustible emotions threatening to explode out of my chest. “That’s shitty and sexist of you!”

My outcry didn’t seem to surprise him, nor did he look fazed.

“I want to fuck you without having to deal with such trivial matters.”

For the very first time today, there was a spark of amusement lighting his handsome face. I would have been responsive had this conversation not taken place, but that wasn’t the case. Instead, he and I were at each other’s throats once more. Unfortunately.

Dismissing the wry expression on his face, I denied myself the pleasure of slapping him and opted for dramatics by growling like an incensed animal and stomping towards his desk then throwing the damned thing in the trash before giving him a deadly glare.

“In case you missed it, Cruz Elliot, I didn’t sign up to be your personal hooker. Get that into your fucking head, or I’m out of here!”

“I never said you were.” He frowned before approaching me with a concerned look. “My apologies for offending you. That was never my intention, Serena.” There was authenticity in his admission. “All I ever wanted to do was to show you just how greatly you affect me … in more ways than you can imagine. I want you tremendously without question, without logic. I am terrifyingly enamored by you.”

My eyes drifted to his lips before reaching his gaze once more. For the first time in my life, I was scared shitless of the unknown and what Cruz represented in my life.

“It’s just too soon …” I argued, grasping at straws. “People are going to see me as a home wrecker: your mom, Archer, everyone in the house. I can’t … I won’t be able to live with myself, Cruz.

“I know this might not make any sense to you, but this is very important to me. Whatever this is we have, if we work at it together, we can successfully make it disappear. Maybe we could even become friends. All this tension is just the cause and effect of being teased with the forbidden. And once the novelty wears off, it’ll be just like the rest—normal and pretty boring.”

He drew his face closer, looking into my eyes, our noses almost touching, needing to see through my lies, through the windows of my soul. “Don’t ever feed me lies. Your eyes tell me too much.”

“What we have is sex—amazing sex, but that’s all we share.” I licked my lips, wondering how I would deliver my next words without giving too much away. “If you’re willing, we don’t have to stop that aspect if we could do it as discreetly as possible, but that’s all I want from you.”

He probed my eyes, searching. “Do you genuinely mean that?”

I nodded and whispered, “Yes.” For the most part, I did.

His intensity didn’t waver as his eyes flickered back and forth, as if trying to read me. “Will you be exclusively mine?” He obviously wasn’t assured.

“I guess …” I trailed off, all the while pondering why he had to even ask me that.

His lips pressed together, unimpressed with my answer. “You guess, but you’re not quite sure.”

Why was he interrogating me in a way that was really pushing my buttons? It was pissing me off. Could it be because he was the one who didn’t want to be exclusive? Maybe he wanted to hop into different beds whenever he felt like it. Well, in that case, there wasn’t much to be said, now was there?

“Yes … I’m not.”

“I see,” he uttered, emotionless.

We were just like friends with benefits, but with less on the “friends” part. I could do this. This was better because I knew where we both stood. There were no false declarations of hope and whatnot. This was just a direct transaction of sex for sex: raw, unbidden, no strings attached. I had never had anything like this before, so it would be my first time. Good luck to me.

My tension began to ebb as I let the idea dawn on me before I made a careful smile. “So, can we get together soon? I’m free tonight.”

Cruz shrugged, seeming uninterested quite suddenly. “I’m afraid I won’t be. Will Sunday do?”

“But that’s—” A lifetime. “Yeah, I guess that’s fine.” I was far from fine, but what was I supposed to say? No, because an hour seemed forever already? Apparently, since I was the one who had thrown the suggestion, I had given away my right to set the damn date.

I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

Putting my injured pride aside, I needed to gauge just how invested he was with this newly minted arrangement we had.

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