Page 222 of Now and Forever

Feeling empowered by his evident reaction, I reinstated some of my confidence.

“So? What’s your point here?” Liking and wanting someone weren’t a crime. Besides, he was making a big deal out of nothing. He was just being a control freak.

“Shouldn’t you be at least worried? You can’t honestly lead the man on, knowing full well you want me.”

I choked a little. What the fuck?

“Well, that’s fresh coming from you, but to answer your question, I don’t know. What I do know is that I’m attracted to him, and if that leads to something, then great. I’m just having fun, as you kindly suggested I should.”

My words sent him into a tizzy.

“I won’t condone that. Not here, not now! Most importantly, not under my watch,” he grated out, setting the rules once again.

“Fine, I’ll make sure to remember not to do anything with anyone in your mom’s house. Anything else I should remember?”

“If my brother does anything, I ask you to put a stop to it.”

“What if I can’t? What then?” I was playing with fire, and I knew it.

“No, you will. You have no other choice.” He took a step closer to me, his silver eyes storming.

“Oh, yes, I fucking do. It’s my life, my body. I’m free to share it with whomever I want.” No one, not even a man I secretly adored, would dictate my actions.

“You wouldn’t dare!”

I was my own woman, and I would stand by my conviction. “You don’t have any right to tell me what and what not to do.”

“You’re fucking mine! You’re mine! You became mine the second you bloody chose to kiss me like I was the best thing you’ve ever had. You chose me! Me, not him. You chose me, Serena!”

“No …” I shook my head, denying everything he had said as I noted the shift in him and the way his eyes seemed to look brighter by the second. “Cruz—” I gasped before I felt his lips crash into mine, hungrily consuming me while his hands possessively held me captive.

I was floored. How could kissing be potently beautiful and sinful at the same time?

His hands eagerly sought and cupped my breasts, massaging them, while his tongue hungrily took everything it could, as if he wanted each breath, each lick, each kiss to be all his.

The emotions he evoked in me were terrifying. We seemed to be drawn to each other, even though it was obvious how much he tried to contain it, control it. Now that he had failed to, what would happen?

The realization of the aftermath brought me back to my senses.

“Cruz, no. Stop.” When he didn’t seem to hear me, I used all my might to push him off me. “This has to end,” I cried out, trembling from the intensity of our earth-shattering encounter. “Stop messing with my mind and let me be!”

He was roughly heaving, looking devastated, like what could have happened if I hadn’t stopped it had just dawned on him.

“I apologize … I don’t know what came over me. I hoped I didn’t frighten you,” he murmured, despondent.

Frightened? Far from it.

“I’m fine, but we can’t—I can’t, Cruz. You’re engaged, so this will turn out badly. We both know it will, so let’s stop it here, right now. We have to promise this will never, ever happen again.”

His head dipped, inching closer to my face until I felt the tip of his nose brush against my cheek, caressing. “You confuse me,” he whispered, evidently tortured by this whole situation. “I want to kiss you again, but I’m afraid you’re going to hate me for it.”

Never had I wanted another man like I craved him.

“No more. No more.”

“Serena, whatever you decide to do”—his lips brushed against the side of my ear, breathing me in—“promise me you’re not going to do anything drastic.”

“Why should I do that, Cruz?” God, I wanted him, though I knew I must fight it. Even if it was hurting me, I must keep on fighting.

“Because I’m having a hard time,” he muttered. “It’s been hellish.” He paused before seeking my eyes, penetrating into my soul, my heart. “You’re all I think about, even when I’m with her.”

The very mention of her was enough. There was nothing left to be said. As much as it pained me to walk away, I did just that, but before I did, I pled with him for the last time.

“Please, I don’t want to hear any of this. Whatever this is, it’s over and done with.”

And this time, I was going to stick to my guns. If my relationship with Aaron had taught me anything, it was the horrible feeling of being cheated on, and I wasn’t going to do that to another woman. If Cruz was confused, he had to deal with it. I didn’t want to be a part of that, not anymore.

In the beginning, it was hard to grapple with the situation because he hadn’t divulged that he was engaged. I felt as though he had led me, distracting me with the butterflies and rainbows he painted before me. Since then, I had been battling this push and pull between us. However, it was time to end this. I couldn’t take it anymore. My conscience wasn’t a willing participant, and my heart wasn’t a willing hostage.

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