Page 19 of Now and Forever

The soft brush of his lips against my skin, though innocent, engulfed me in flames. My groin tightened, fighting the deep arousal his scent and nearness did to my body.

Stiff as a board, he said. I’m horny; can he not tell?

“Maybe if you do it often, I’ll get used to your touch,” I said coyly before tapping him lightly on the shoulder, needing to immediately disengage before I said something idiotic, like begging him to alleviate the ache within me—yeah, that’d be disastrous. So it was best I retreated to my bedroom and pondered how I could ruin my already chaotic life some more. “Anyhow, have fun at work, my fake sexy fiancé.”

I could feel his eyes on me as he watched me strut into my bedroom.

For a second, I wondered how excruciating it’d be sleeping in the same bed with the man I was nuts and bolts about when I wouldn’t be able to touch him at all. It would be a nightmare. I could already feel the frustration permeating from my pores.

Left to my own devices and in the safe confines of my bedroom, I took the liberty of calling for an emergency check-up. Since the ceremony wouldn’t be until noon tomorrow, anyway, I was pleased to slot the appointment at seven-thirty in the morning.

With a few hours to burn until I’d get to see Papa again, I decided to call Blair but was sadly sent to her voicemail box.

“Hey, it’s me. I’m back and Papa’s really ill. So, um, yeah, you guys have fun, and I’ll see you both when you’re back. If there are any changes, I’ll make sure to keep you guys updated. Miss and love you both.”

Part of me ought to have wondered what in God’s name happened to Jack, but I also didn’t want to know. Who had time to spare for a lying, cheating lowlife, anyway? If tomorrow’s results proved he was to be the father, then I might be singing a different tune. But for the time being, I was content with my decision.

I let out a long drawn out sigh as I strode into my walk-in closet and stripped myself bare. A hot shower would temporarily calm my nerves. Unlike Blair’s opulent bedroom, mine was rather on the Spartan side. I liked the minimalist contemporary designs, a preference I gained from my father. All white or all black scheme, or a combination of both, with a random hint of color in the form of a vase or a painting—I normally chose cerulean blue, crimson red, or eggshell yellow to contrast the monotonous design schematics. It made everything immaculately organized. Father once said that colors could sometimes distract one’s concentration; that was why he preferred his surroundings less stimulating.

Once nude, I strode across the vast closet and stepped into the bathroom. But before showering, I took a moment to study myself in the three-paneled mirror, observing if there were any changes in my body. So far, there were none to be significantly noted. However, my mother didn’t see stark changes in her body until she was five months pregnant. Maybe my body was like hers. My breasts remained pert and full. My belly flat and my seemingly two-pack abs attained from swimming were still in place. My long blonde hair had natural silvery highlights due to the time spent under the sun. My tanned skin looked healthy and glowing. My silver eyes blazed, as if fire ignited within me, within my soul. There was sadness in there, too, but the blatant light shining in their depths couldn’t be denied. Thanks to Jared. All it took was a simple chaste kiss on my forehead, and the after effects of that one simple gesture went straight into my bones.

Hopeless as always where Jared St. James was concerned. When would that die out? And if it wouldn’t…I was forever stuck in this sweet purgatory of my own making.

Remember Rose? The woman he’s with? my mind irritatingly rebutted. Yeah, she’s getting all of him—lips, dick, and fingers. Do try not to forget that.

“Get a grip, Gisele. It’s not real.” My shoulders slouched as I huffed out a pained sound. I shook my head as I walked into the shower. Thoughts of him rutting between Rose’s legs hurt more than I cared to admit. All I could do at this point was to better my craft at playing “I’m not crazy in love with Jared.”

After relishing the hot soothing spray of a shower for almost an hour, I noticed that my belongings were now neatly parked inside my closet. Ignoring the items, I pulled on one of my favorite black kimono robes before sliding into bed, wet hair secured with a towel into a big knot atop my head. The second my head touched the pillow, I dozed off in a heartbeat.

The past twenty-four hours surely had drained all energy out of me. My mind shut down, and my body soon followed.

---