Page 165 of Now and Forever

Without glancing at him, I bit the bottom of my lip, hoping the burn in the back of my eyes would go away. The last thing I needed was to make this debacle a perfect shit storm by uncontrollably crying like someone had died. Well, maybe something had. I had heard my heart crack, shattered into smithereens. There was no repairing it.

The devil was hard at work today. He taunted me by having Drew, Poppy, and his stepmother, Caroline, appear a few feet away. They seemed to be sharing a great story, because I heard them laugh while Drew held Poppy’s back, as if he were protective of her, as if he truly cared for her and he simply couldn’t get enough.

Thirty more minutes and then I’d Uber my way out of here. Hell, I would take the bus out of here if I had to as long as I was away from this nightmare.

I felt as though, each time I glanced at him, my heart was punctured by a knife, bleeding out until it was dead and gone.

“Caroline seems too cozy to be his stepmother, I found myself saying, loathing the fact that the woman was inappropriately feeling his muscles right where everyone could see. What the hell?

Jackson followed my gaze then let out a dark laugh. “She’s trying to secure the upgrade before dumping the older version.”

Ew.

“You’re not serious?” He had to be joking, right? That was disgusting.

“I mean, look at her. She calls and always goes out with him for lunches and dinners. She’s worse than a stalker, but Drew sees it as affection.” He shrugged, as if he couldn’t believe his best friend was so naïve.

Heck, I had just met them, and I could easily tell she was too close for comfort. But as for Drew mistaking it for affection, it wasn’t hard to believe. He didn’t know any better.

“His mother didn’t give him any, so cut him some slack.”

“He’s just fitting right in as if the past eighteen years didn’t fucking happen, as if we didn’t matter. We were his family, too. We were there for him more than these fuckers ever were. Look at him now. It’s like none of that bullshit fazes him.”

“Oh, Jacks, don’t compare what we shared with him to this. This is different.” Reaching out, I gripped his arm, hoping he would see Drew’s side. “We’re always going to be here for him. Always. Nothing will ever change that. Let him enjoy this. Maybe his dad is ready this time around.”

He scoffed, obviously skeptical.

Bracing myself, I dragged my eyes away from Drew and Poppy, who were now speaking to a woman. Staring ahead at the horizon, I pulled my shawl closer around me, needing some comfort, some warmth, because everything felt cold all of a sudden.

“When did all of this happen, Jacks?”

“Since Drew and I began being at odds? He didn’t care for it when I said his father could just be using him.” Jackson sounded hurt.

“That’s very harsh, even for you, Jacks.” Jackson’s reaction was understandable, as was Drew’s. As friend and family to him, he should have been more supportive to whatever his friend had decided on. This was his father, not some random. One couldn’t just brush that aside. “He doesn’t have any family. Wouldn’t you have done the same?”

Jackson shook his head. “Not when the asshole had missing ninety-nine percent of my life and popped out of nowhere because he didn’t have an heir. Like, what kind of bullshit is that? Drew, the smartest kid I know, buys into that shit? If I don’t look out for him, no one will. We fight, but I do it because I don’t want him to end up hurt—that’s what friends are for. He’s already been through enough.”

“I know, Jacks. We all want the best for him.” My heart ached as I thought of Poppy. “But we have to trust that he knows what’s good for him.” If he was happy, then I would learn to be happy for him. It was all I could do. I hardly doubted I would ever stop loving him, but hopefully someday, the pain would subside.

“If he knew what was good for him, he would’ve fought for you.”

It was funny how Jackson seemed to easily accept my feelings for his best friend, but instead of asking him why he wasn’t against it, I decided not. He was only being kind. It was nothing to get emotional about.

“It’s all over now.” Exactly. All was said and done.

“Oh, Chloe. How can it be over when it didn’t even begin?”

It had, somewhat, but it had never taken off either.

“He doesn’t want me, Jacks. I’ve tried, but I couldn’t get through to him. It’s fine. I’ll be fine.” Even to my own ears, my words sounded forced.

“If there’s a man out there who closely matches just how much I love you, it’s him, Chlo. He’s stubborn as a mule, but he cares about you. Don’t give up just yet. Give him time. He’ll come around. Trust me.”

How could I argue that there wasn’t a spec of a chance for us? Jackson wouldn’t understand. Therefore, I kept my mouth shut and tried to appear unaffected.

After more guests arrived, it didn’t take long until they announced the food was being served on the black and white tented veranda. Though it was a bit chilly, the torches and fire pits made it warm.

I wasn’t sure what prompted me, but the moment I sat at one of the beautifully decorated rounded tables, I made an excuse of needing the bathroom. The thought of mingling with strangers while trying to act civilized would put me in a mental institution. Let’s face it. The last thing I needed was to be in a public setting. Okay, this was a private party, but apart from two souls, there wasn’t a familiar face around.

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