Page 159 of Now and Forever

At first, I was reluctant to give in, but the more he pressed his body against me, the more my senses and judgment became impaired. Maybe it because of the mixture of despair, heartbreak, and the thought that there was this hot blooded man who wanted me. I mean, after being so callously rejected by Drew, I needed some validation to feel good about myself, to know I was worthy and wanted, desired not just for my looks, but everything else. All these emotions washed over me, and it didn’t help that Cori was too good at this game.

“Red,” Cori groaned as he kissed me, sliding his hand under my shirt and to my breasts. I was helpless against his expert ministrations.

At one point, Drew’s face flashed in my mind, but I justified going forward by reminding myself that maybe this was what I needed to move on, to finally know what it felt like to know another man’s touch, to make memories that didn’t include him. And so I did.

Cori had come prepared. I barely noticed him putting on protection. Before I could utter anything, he had already impaled me. And just like the man, he took me, hard and unforgiving.

It was different than what I knew with Drew. With Drew, there were a lot of different elements involved, but with Cori … It was pure, unadulterated sex, no more, no less. He served it sizzling hot, and God help me, it felt good to feel free, though my heart was slowly dying. Aside from that part of my body, everything else was enraptured.

We lingered in bed, and Cori eventually fell asleep, holding me. While he dozed, I was wide awake, my brain not willing to shut off.

For a moment, I took a good look at him and felt a small smile cross my face. Then I slid off the bed and put on the abandoned shirt that had been flung on the foot of the bed, in need of some ice-cold water.

Why had I been so against having sex with other people before? I had missed out on what dating was really all about.

Just before reaching the kitchen, I almost died of a heart attack when I saw Drew leaning against the counter. How long had he been here? Why was he home?

My mind went numb. The thought of him being here while things had gone on with Cori in the bedroom … Fuck.

Gazing up at him, I saw his eyes had shadows around them, as if he hadn’t slept a wink.

“Drew …” I choked out, unsure what to even say.

“Don’t.”

One word. He uttered one word, and I felt like he had stabbed me in the heart a thousand times. It couldn’t be helped; my tears fell, and while I quietly sobbed, he simply stared at the floor, as if he were reeling, as if he were trying to grasp what had just happened between us, between Cori and me. And in that moment, I honestly didn’t know what to do.

“You texted me, saying all of that—I thought—”

He cut me off with a slash of his ice cold eyes. “You fucking thought wrong! To think that I fucking came here to make amends, to fucking apologize for my mistake, to—” His lungs heaved out, gasping for air as he stared me down, making me feel like a tiny, irrelevant fly. “I thought you were better than this, Chloe. Never in my life has a person disappointed me like that. My mother, I expected it from her, but from you? What a fucking joke. You almost had me, but thank God I came here to witness what you truly are.”

I became numb as my ears rung. “What are you saying?” My voice came out in a mere croak. My tears streamed, past caring that they possibly were making a tiny pool on the floor.

“You had me fooled. Thank fuck I didn’t fall in love with you.” He shook his head before looking at me with unmasked disgust in his eyes. “Go back to him; it’s where you belong.”

His parting words cut me as I watched him walk away. It all had happened so quickly I felt as though I were living a horrible nightmare.

A major part of me wanted to chase after him, beg him to reconsider and take me back again. However, even my idiotic heart knew he wouldn’t forgive me, not after he had said I had disappointed him more than anyone else in his life, more than his own mother. That revelation eviscerated me.

His mother was the worst kind. She was selfish and only cared about herself. The idea of caring for her son had never crossed her mind, and Drew had been left with his grandmother. And on the days his grandmother wasn’t there, he came to our home to eat meals with us.

His words rang in my head. How viciously grateful he was that he didn’t fall in love with me … I mean, why had he brought that up? It was obvious it had been me who had loved him ceaselessly throughout the years. I had gotten fed up, though. In my mind, I was fighting that love. It was my fight to survive, but it all had backfired, and now Drew loathed me more than anyone. There was no recovering from this.

After shedding so many tears my tear ducts ran dry, I gathered myself and began to wash my face in the powder room next to the kitchen. My strength and will lasted long enough to give a lame excuse to Cori that my brother was coming back soon from school and he needed to be out of here, because Jackson wouldn’t be pleased that I had brought a guy home.

Cori, bless him for being so understanding, didn’t realize what had taken place while he had been out cold in my bed. He immediately gathered himself to leave. But before he stepped out the door, he kissed me, and not a chaste quick one, but the thorough kind, the one that was supposed to leave a lingering impression. It would have, but after that encounter with Drew… He was all I could think about.

When Cori left, it was as if all the energy were drained out of me. It took every ounce of my power to get to the living room couch. I couldn’t bear to be in my bedroom, not after what I had done.

Even though I knew he wouldn’t take my calls, I still tried leaving voicemails and text messages to no avail. As the hours ticked by with no response from Drew, I became hysterical. It was then my brother found me curled up in a ball on the carpeted floor, hurting like never before.

“Chloe?” he said just as he spotted me, and when he got a clear view of my face, he fell to the floor with me, cradling me in his arms. “Jesus, what happened to you?”

“I fucked up. He hates me.” I sobbed harder into his shoulder, uncaring that he might know what had happened between his best friend and me.

“Shh …” He gently and carefully stroked my head. “No one hates you, sis. It’s okay. Whatever it is, you can tell me. We’ll fix it somehow. I promise, we’ll fix it together.”

Shaking my head, I knew there was nothing left to fix. I had committed the greatest of sins in his eyes. “There’s no fixing this. Drew hates me.”

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