Page 121 of Now and Forever

Chapter 42

The next morning, I woke up with a mild headache, and my toe didn’t feel any better. The throbbing pulse in my foot made me solely focus on the pain, which irritated me to no end.

Much to my surprise, there was another note on the side table, situated right next to the untouched cupcakes from the day prior.

Here’s some kinesiology tape. It could help alleviate some of the pain along with some pain reliever. YouTube should provide a tutorial if you need thorough instructions.

Please take care.

There was a roll of black bandage-like tape with a bottle of Aleve next to it. The gesture was beyond thoughtful, but after last night’s humiliating situation, the last thing I felt was warmth. This man went in and out of my bedroom as he pleased, which made me feel self-conscious because he did it while I was asleep. Top that with the thought of me drooling like a dumb idiot, and I couldn’t help feeling genuinely mortified. Oh, the thrills of sharing an apartment with a man you once fantasized about.

With less than an hour until my Economics class, I took a quick shower and brushed my teeth while I scanned YouTube so someone could show me how to use that special tape. I continued watching the tutorials while I got dressed then took some pain reliever before I went to sit on the edge of my bed and get to business.

The kinesiology tape was a longer version of a Band-Aid, but without the middle gauze padding. I admitted the pressure made it manageable to walk without having to limp. I supposed I should thank him for this when I saw him next. Even if he was unbearable sometimes, he was thoughtful when needed most.

But Drew hadn’t been back as far as I could tell. I even went to such a length as to leave my door open just in case I heard him enter. That moment never came. His absence cemented how he was very much avoiding me and sleeping at someone else’s home.

I admitted I was the least bit reasonable as of late, but he was far from being saintly, either. He had been hot and cold just as I had. If he spat fire, I didn’t back down. If he was being kind, I became less tense and guarded toward him. The extremeness of our reactions with each other took a toll on me. It proved how we were at odds, and I hardly believed there was a noncomplex solution for it. Therefore, I supposed his absence should be welcomed as a quiet reprieve from all the madness that ensued with each other.

That first day with my injured tiny limb was bearable as I went from class to class, but as the second day dragged, it was becoming apparent walking aggravated it more, so much so that the excruciating pain from moving alone made me cry out in agony. In between classes, I had to find somewhere to sit, take more pills, and wait for about ten minutes or so until the pain began to temporarily ebb away before I could function again.

The kinesiology tape had helped the day prior, but on the second day, the effect had lessened. It wasn’t the product’s fault but mine since I was giving it quite a work out, or maybe I had applied it wrong. For such a little piece of my anatomy, I hadn’t realized its importance until it was hurt.

“You look like you’re about to faint.” Jackson greeted me as he came out of his room while I flung myself on the nearest couch, exhausted beyond wonder.

My stomach was growling in protest, but I couldn’t seem to gather enough strength to limp my way into the kitchen and scour for food.

“I hurt my toe the other night, and it’s been giving me hell since.”

“Sheesh, Chloe, you seriously need to be careful.” Jacks came to join me in the living room, taking the opposing sofa facing me with a worried look on his face. “We’re leaving for Miami tomorrow. It’s a day earlier than planned, but what the heck? We might as well. The first week of classes weren’t that important, anyway. If you need me to stay, though, I will. I don’t mind either way since we haven’t really hung out since you got here.”

That was thoughtful of him to offer, but I didn’t need for him to halt his life to take care of me. He made it sound as if I were dying when, good grief, it was just an injured toe. An excruciating dilemma, but something I could very well tackle all by myself.

“Go and party for the both of us, Jacks. I don’t need a babysitter. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m all grown up. Thank but no thanks.”

He sent me a thoughtful smile. “I know you’re all grown and stuff, but you’re still my baby sister. Nothing will ever change that, little booger.”

Jackson was being sentimental, and I couldn’t help feeling this overwhelming over-protectiveness kick in out of nowhere. “Jacks, I know it’s none of my business, but aren’t you spending quite a lot of time with Yvonne and partying instead of school?”

“I know, but I just need to sort some stuff out.” He let out a tired sigh before leaning back against the cushion and shutting his eyes. “Yvonne’s great, but I’m not in love with her if that’s what you’re trying to get at. I’m just in a limbo, working on it.”

My brother sounded so lost. I wanted to reach out to him and give him a reassuring hug.

“I was told you go to Columbia; is that true?”

“Yes.”

“Care to tell me why?” It was a plea as much as it was a question.

“Drew had his future already mapped out. He had it all figured out. I thought, if I went to the same school, it would follow through for me, but it didn’t, Chlo. Each time I think about our life in Newport Beach, I always imagine that my life would be like theirs, and I don’t want that meaningless life, but I don’t know how to get where I need to be.”

He had never shared anything like this with me. It was bewildering to see him in such a state and feeling so helpless, and I couldn’t help him fix the root of his problem. He alone had to figure this out. It was up to him to see it through and never give up on his dreams, whatever they might be. Still, I had to know what was going on, and maybe talking about it would help him figure things out a bit.

“Is there something that’s holding you back?” I asked softly, hoping he would let me pick his brain a while until he shut himself off again.

“Have you ever hated someone so much you didn’t realize that, underneath all that hate, there’s love?”

I suddenly felt alarmed. Was he talking about me … or him? Then I realized he was speaking for himself after I saw his baffled expression.

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