Page 484 of Now and Forever

??

“How does it feel to be back home?” I ask as we enter his foyer.

Skull comes out running to greet his owner. He’s been under the care of Drake’s housekeeper who was kind enough to stay with him for the last two weeks.

“Hey, Buddy! Did you miss me?” Drake scratches the dog’s neck.

“Are you tired? You should rest. If you’re hungry, I can cook up something,” I ask when we are going up the stairs, heading toward his bedroom.

“I think I’m going to crash for a bit. I’m exhausted.”

I’m shocked to find his room has had a major transformation. The décor, the bed and everything else is different.

Seeing my expression, Drake explains, “I hired an interior decorator to strip everything off. The bathrooms, the closets and the rest of the guestrooms are all newly decorated. After Shannon, I thought it was best to change everything to make you feel comfortable.”

Could he be any sweeter?

“Thank you. This means so much to me, Drake.” I stride toward where he stands and give him a kiss.

“Stay with me in bed. I want you close.” Drake looks tired. If he wants me next to him, then I’ll be right there.

Once we are all in bed, Skull included, I ask, “Why do you always want me close to you? Each time you ask it, your voice changes. It’s weird.”

“I had a dream . . . I died in it. When you learned of the news, you were so devastated; you wouldn’t stop crying. Then my dreams flashed forward and you were with Jared with my child growing in your belly.”

“I’m not going to leave you for him. You know that, don’t you?”

“I do, but when I’m reminded of how helpless I was in my dream, how badly I wanted to be that man for you and I couldn’t because I was dead, I feel raw, and you being close gives me a reality check; that you’re here with me and that I’m still alive. I don’t want to ever feel that kind of pain, Lil. It scares me to think that it could easily happen.” Drake sounds vulnerable, gutted.

I snuggle close to him, resting my head on his arm since I can’t put my head on his chest, yet. “That will never happen because I’m not capable of loving another man. The last eight years taught me that.” It wasn’t because of my luck of trying. I did try, very hard, but it was impossible when I’d given my heart away already.

“It was always you in my heart, Lil. I’m happy that you’re here, still giving me another chance after how I treated you. For loving me as I am.”

We hold hands as we both fall asleep; the strain of the past couple of weeks finally catching up with me.

---