Page 77 of The Finding Series: Vol. 2

“Do you need some help?” I asked as I neared the man who was trying to figure out how to pick up the second boy while the first was clinging to him.

He chuckled and said, “I was sure we were going to make it the whole way this time.”

I reached down to pick up the second child and the man shifted the first to take him. “Do you want me to carry him?” I asked as the little boy quieted in my arms. The man looked surprised.

“Wow, yeah, that would be great. He usually doesn’t take to strangers so quickly.” He maneuvered the boy in his arms to a more comfortable position and then held out his hand. “I’m Finn,” he said as he shook my hand. “This is Charlie” – he pointed to the child in his arms – “and this is Rowan.” He tugged on the pant leg of the little boy I was holding. I guessed the boys to be around a year old or so and they were clearly identical twins with their dark hair and blue eyes. They were wearing matching outfits all the way down to adorable little cowboy boots.

“Hi, I’m Beck,” I said and I watched Finn’s eyes widen just a bit. I knew it would have been stupid to think he might not know about the accident, but I’d held out hope that I wouldn’t be the talk of the ranch. I wondered absently if he knew about my suicide attempt too. I’d figured my fathers had told Jax and Dane about it, but I wasn’t sure who else knew. I kind of didn’t want to know at this point because I didn’t need more eyes watching my every move for any sign that I was looking to try and hurt myself again.

“Welcome to the CB Bar,” Finn said as we began walking towards the barn. “We’re so excited to have you helping us out for the summer.”

“I’m excited to be here,” I said politely. It wasn’t like I could say what I was really feeling.

Thanks for giving me a place to hide out from my fucked-up life, but where I’d really like to be right now is asleep in my bed because it’s the only place I can ever find any kind of fucking peace. And oh, by the way, I let one of your employees fuck me in a dirty bathroom without even knowing his name while another complete stranger sucked my dick.

“Have you ever worked around horses before?”

I shook my head. “Never actually even been around one,” I admitted.

Finn laughed. “My husband, Rhys, was pretty much in the same boat when he arrived and he did okay.” The man’s smile was huge as he talked about one of his husbands. I ignored the pang of envy that went through me.

“You’ll be fine. Quinn’s a great teacher. He’s as good with the horses as Cal, but don’t tell Cal I said that.”

“Cal?”

“Oh, yeah, sorry. I meant Callan, my other husband. I’ve been calling him Cal since we were kids…well, since I was a kid.”

“You and Callan grew up together?” I asked.

“Sort of. My father worked for his and Cal and I hung out. Well, hung out is probably the wrong word. I kind of latched onto Cal when I was thirteen and never gave it a second thought. He was a good sport about it, especially since he was so much older than me.”

“You guys are married, so I guess he was more than just a good sport about it, huh?”

Finn smiled. “Yeah, he was.” He glanced at me and said, “Usually the first thing out of people’s mouths when they find out I have two husbands is some kind of question asking how that’s even possible.”

I chuckled. “Jax must not have told you much about my family,” I said. “My father’s brother has been married to two men for nine years now and my cousin, Tristan, is in a relationship with his best friend and another man.”

“Really?” Finn said with a smile. “Sounds like an amazing family.”

“It is,” I murmured.

It was too bad I didn’t feel like I was a part of it.

All too quickly we reached the barn and I felt my anxiety start to creep back up. The aisle was empty when we entered, but as soon as an older man entered the barn from the other side, Rowan began flapping his arms and excitedly saying something that sounded like “Papa.” I tensed when I saw the man, who I suspected was Callan Bale based on both kids’ excited reactions, wasn’t alone. Quinn was walking next to him and behind them was a white horse.

Callan’s eyes lifted to see his husband and children and his whole face lit up. He began walking towards us and I quickly lowered Rowan to the ground when I saw Finn do the same with Charlie. I steadied the little boy before releasing him so he could waddle towards his father. Quinn stayed back with the horse, presumably so the large animal wouldn’t inadvertently injure one of the kids.

I felt my heart clench at the sight of Callan scooping up his kids and holding them against his chest. Even though I’d never had that particular experience, I’d still felt that love every time my fathers held me. The fact that I wasn’t their biological child hadn’t ever seemed to register with them or affect the level of affection they’d shown me and my younger siblings.

I couldn’t stop myself from taking a step back as Callan neared us and I inwardly cursed myself. I felt a tingling along the back of my neck and saw Quinn watching me.

Fuck, had he seen my reaction to Callan’s approach?

Callan, for his part, seemed not to notice my reaction, especially since he only had eyes for his husband.

“Hey,” the man murmured as he leaned down to brush his lips over Finn’s.

Callan Bale was a big guy – well over 6’ and heavily muscled, though he wasn’t a tank. While the man’s physical appearance caused my insides to flutter nervously, it was the way he carried himself that had me on edge. Just like Jax, I instinctively knew he was the kind of man who knew what he wanted and went after it. And just like with Jax, I was ashamed of my reaction to him.

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