Page 66 of The Finding Series: Vol. 2

And nothing about him had fit the bill.

But the dark-haired, steely-eyed cowboy had.

Until he hadn’t.

I shook off the reminder of how everything had gone so terribly wrong in that bathroom stall and focused on how I was going to get through the next three months. Coming to Dare hadn’t been my idea, but I’d welcomed the opportunity. Not the part where I would be spending the summer working at a nearby ranch, but most certainly the part where I got to get out of Seattle for a while. My father, Cade, had made the suggestion that I spend some time with his former army buddy and the man’s husband and two kids. Although he’d posed it as an opportunity for me to have a change of scenery, I couldn’t help but wonder if he was the one who needed a break.

I definitely had no grounds to blame him if that was the case. He’d never really recovered from that cold, wet March day fifteen months earlier when I’d destroyed our happy, perfect family with one selfish decision. It wasn’t something we spoke a lot about, mostly because I wanted to forget the whole thing.

But there was no forgetting. My father would never forget the scene he’d walked in on when he’d come to my room to let me know he was home early from work and I’d never forget the feeling of peace that had come over me the moment I’d taken that final step.

I’d known I wasn’t like other kids long before Cade and Rafe came into my life and offered to be the family my siblings and I’d never really had. As a child, I’d struggled to fit in with kids my own age and I’d often preferred to keep to myself. My chaotic home life would have been explanation enough for my behavior, but there’d always been this sense of distance between me and the people around me, my family included. After my father’s death when I was ten and my mother’s fatal drug overdose just a year later, I was forced to interact with the world in a whole new way when I was left as the sole provider for my little brother and sister. We’d been sent to live with our maternal grandmother, but she’d been unable to do more than keep a roof over our head with her meager social security check, and her declining health had made her practically an invalid. While my new life hadn’t exactly been ideal, in a strange way it had helped ground me by forcing me to focus on one thing and one thing only.

Surviving.

There’d been no time to dwell on the darkness that so often took control of my thoughts. Sleep hadn’t been a luxury I could afford. Even the moments of silence I’d sought out in my head to calm my raging anxiety hadn’t been available to me anymore. Every moment had been about finding a way to get food on the table and hiding the truth of our situation from children’s services during their rare, but random, check-ins.

I’d managed it for less than four months before it had all come crashing down around me. A few suggestive words to an off-duty cop – that was all it had taken to change things yet again. And while that one encounter had led me to Cade and Rafe Barretti, it had taken away the one thing keeping me from giving in to the darkness of my mind. I’d been stripped of my base need to survive day after day and been given a new, perfect life with two men who were offering me the world.

Except it hadn’t been perfect.

Because I wasn’t perfect.

I’d literally been handed a fairy-tale life and I hadn’t been able to make it work. I’d been lavished with love, kindness, respect, money, opportunity – and I’d still had nothing.

It had taken three years and several doctors to finally acknowledge what I’d known all along…that I wasn’t normal and never would be.

I closed my eyes when I heard a knock at the door. Fuck, I really wasn’t ready for this. “Come in,” I called. I sucked in a deep breath and pasted a smile on my face as I looked over my shoulder at my visitor.

“Morning.”

“Morning,” I responded as my eyes settled on the man who was one of my father’s oldest and closest friends.

Jaxon Reid was so much like my father that it was scary. From his imposing size to his assessing gaze, he could have been Cade Barretti’s twin. Which meant I was going to need to be on my game this summer because if anyone would be able to see right through me, it would be this man.

“Breakfast is almost ready. You up for joining us?”

No.

“Sure,” I said as brightly as I could. I carefully sat up and collected the kittens.

Jax chuckled. “I see you had a visitor this morning.”

I nodded. “She’s in high demand,” I observed.

“That she is,” Jax said, a broad smile spreading across his mouth as he headed towards me. I fought back the violent surge of nausea that went through me as he neared the bed and handed him the kittens.

“Come on down whenever you’re ready,” Jax said as he cuddled the now-squirming kittens against his wide chest. I nodded and waited until he’d left the room before I pushed the blanket back and swung my legs over the side of the bed. I struggled to catch my breath as the rolling in my gut started to ease.

He’s your father’s friend.

I nodded as if the voice in my head had been real.

Fuck, I needed to get a grip. Forcing myself to my feet, I searched out the clothes I’d need for the day and went to the bathroom that was just outside the bedroom. I could hear voices coming from downstairs so I quickly skimmed off my sweats and T-shirt and got the shower going. I was just about to step into the stall when my eyes caught on several dark smudges on my left hip.

It took several long seconds to register what it was that I was seeing and when I finally did, I stifled a gasp as my already morning wood thickened with excitement.

He left his mark on me.

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