Page 25 of The Finding Series: Vol. 2

“What will you do now?” Roman asked.

Hunter took the stick that Ripley dropped in his lap and studied it for a moment before tossing it into the water. “Go back to the way things were,” Hunter said. “Minus the gay clubs,” he added with a small smile and while Roman knew he’d meant it as a roundabout way to reassure him that there wouldn’t be a repeat of the episode with the bikers, the comment did nothing to ease the aching in Roman’s gut.

“I need you to promise me something,” Roman whispered.

Hunter shook his head. “Roman, please don’t ask me to make a promise you know I can’t keep.”

Frustration went through Roman because that was exactly what he’d been about to do. Roman turned and swung one leg over the log so that he was straddling it. The move had him facing Hunter and a surge of pleasure went through him when Hunter did the same thing and then went a step further and moved close enough so that their legs were touching. Hunter met him halfway when he leaned down to kiss him and while the kiss was tame compared to the one they’d shared yesterday, it still left him burning inside.

“You could come with me,” Roman whispered against Hunter’s mouth. “I could set you up somewhere, help you start fresh. You could do and be anything you wanted to be.”

Hunter smiled and then kissed him hard. “You are an amazing man, Roman Blackwell. Wherever your mom is, I’ll bet you’ve made her proud more times than you can count.”

It was just too fucking much. Roman dragged Hunter up against him and kissed him over and over until they were both shaking from the emotion of it all. He buried his face against Hunter’s neck and said, “I don’t know if I can let you go.” He felt Hunter’s fingers stroking through his hair.

“You won’t have to,” Hunter said against his ear. “Because for once, I’m going to be the strong one.” He felt lips skim his cheek and then Hunter was pushing the stick he’d been throwing for Ripley in his hand. “Play with Ripley for a while, okay?”

Roman managed a nod and kept his eyes on the big dog sitting at his feet. He stayed there long after he heard the footsteps move away from him and he didn’t move when he heard the sound of a car’s engine start. It wasn’t until he felt his brother’s hand settle on his shoulder that he finally dropped the stick on the ground and forced himself to get up. Life was calling and it was time he got back to it.

* * *

Hunter gave Luke a last wave as he watched the pickup truck back out of the driveway and head back down the street. It wasn’t until the truck was out of sight that he felt his knees give out and he had to lean against his car so he could catch his breath. Walking away from Roman had been so much harder than he’d thought it would be which made no sense since he’d known the man less than 48 hours. Saying no to Roman’s offer to help him start over had been even harder because his first thought when Roman had suggested it was that it would be a way to stay connected to Roman. And while he knew Roman had only done it out of pity, a part of him hadn’t cared because he would have given anything to know there was still some link to the man who’d changed so much for him. There’d even been a little shard of hope that maybe someday Roman would see him as something other than a pathetic mental case who couldn’t even admit what his body had been telling him for years. Luckily, he’d had just the tiniest amount of pride left and he’d made himself let go of Roman. Because as much as he wanted, needed Roman, Roman didn’t need him.

Forcing himself to straighten, Hunter went into the house to get his stuff but stopped when he saw his mother standing at her ironing board in the kitchen.

“Good morning, darling,” she said flatly as she kept her focus on the shirt collar she was pressing. “Did you have fun with your friends?”

The question was the right one but the way she asked it was all wrong as usual. He could have answered that the party he’d lied about going to last night had turned into one huge fuckfest and she would have responded by asking him if he wanted her to make him some breakfast.

“Can I make you some breakfast?” she asked, her voice hollow and dull.

God, would this be what he would look like when he was her age? Like he’d lived a thousand lifetimes and hadn’t enjoyed any of them?

The easy thing to do - the expected thing – would be to give her a quick kiss on the cheek, tell her he loved her, get his things and go. It was what she wanted and truth be told, a part of him wanted that too. Because doing anything else would likely mean he’d have to hear things he didn’t want to hear. If he just kept his mouth shut like he was supposed to, the two of them would go on being what they’d always been – props in someone else’s life.

Hunter went to his mother’s side but instead of leaning in to kiss her, he reached for the iron’s power cord and pulled it free of the outlet. His mother actually kept ironing until he put his hand over hers. Her lackluster eyes finally lifted to meet his and he carefully took the iron and set it aside.

“Your father has a lunch meeting and he needs his blue shirt because he’s wearing his pin stripe blazer and white takes away from-”

“Mom,” he said gently and took her hand in his. The contact finally seemed to snap her out of her daze and her fingers lifted to brush over the wound on his cheek. She stopped just short of actually touching it though.

“Hunter, you have to remember your father knows what’s best…”

Disappointment went through Hunter as he realized his mother assumed the injury on his face had come from his father…and that he’d somehow done something to warrant it.

“Mom, why didn’t you tell me the truth about what happened after I left?”

Her eyes dropped instantly and another streak of hurt hit him. She knew exactly what he was referring to but he voiced it anyway. “You told me the stuff with Finn Stewart blew over – that everything went back to normal after I left.”

“You always had a soft spot for boys like him…troublemakers,” she said firmly as she smoothed her hands over the collar of the shirt. “He got what he deserved for doing what he did.”

Hunter reared back as if she’d struck him. “I told you the truth about that night, Mom. I told you it wasn’t his fault. That I started it. You said…you said if I stayed away, that if I left things alone it would all go away.”

His mother shook her head. “No, that boy, he tricked you into saying that stuff. I knew he’d do it again if you came back.”

Hunter actually felt bile creeping up the back of his throat. All this time he’d thought he had a secret ally in his mother. That if and when he really needed her, she’d be there for him. He’d been terrified that she’d hate him when he’d admitted that the encounter with Finn had been because he’d instigated it but when she’d said she understood, he’d taken that to mean she was okay with it…with him. But she’d done the same thing as his father – used his lie to hide a truth she didn’t want to accept.

“Why?” Hunter asked.

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