Page 143 of The Finding Series: Vol. 2

I nodded. “He got me an appointment with an admissions counselor to see if my grades are good enough to apply.”

“Have you told your fathers you’re staying yet?”

“No,” I admitted. “I wanted them to meet Brody and Quinn first and to see what I do at the CB Bar. I have lots of things I need to tell them.”

Jax knew my fathers would be joining me at a therapy session and I had no doubt he knew it was to talk about a lot more than me staying in Montana. But he didn’t press the issue. He merely said, “Make sure they seeyou, Beck.”

I nodded because I knew what he meant. My fathers would instinctively see the old me…the me who’d decided death was a better option than facing the truth. I needed to show them I wasn’t that same person anymore. The person they’d be leaving behind was a man with a future, not a child running from his past.

I was saved from having to say anything when we heard an approaching car. Jax and I stood at the same time. “Here, I’ll take them,” Jax said softly as he took the kittens from me. I smiled and hurried down the stairs. I couldn’t help the tears that welled in my eyes at the sight of both of my fathers climbing out of their rental car.

“Beck,” my father, Rafe, said, a smile stretching across his lips as he hurried to me and wrapped his arms around me.

“Dad,” I whispered as I gave up on the attempt to keep my tears at bay. I was in my father, Cade’s arms next and predictably, he held me just a little bit longer. I drew on his strength and tried not to think about what was coming…not later today when I introduced them to my lovers and not tomorrow when I had my second soul-baring session.

“Glad you’re here,” I said to him just before he released me.

“Me too,” he said softly. He released me back to my other father so he could go greet Jax. An arm went around my shoulder as my father and I watched Cade and his old friend embrace.

It was the calm before the storm, but hopefully it would be one of the last storms I’d ever have to battle.

And if there were any more coming my way, at least now I knew I’d never have to face them alone again.

* * *

Watching my fathers cry would surely go down as one of the worst moments in my entire life. Being the one who’d put them in that position was right behind it.

My insides felt raw as I used my already damp sleeve to wipe at my face. I’d finished talking more than a minute ago and neither man would look at me. Like when I’d told my story to Brody and Quinn, my fathers were on the couch across from me so I’d gotten to see the play of emotions across their faces as I’d spoken.

Whenever I’d been able to actually look at them, that is.

Most of my story had had the same amount of detail that I’d shared with my lovers, which had been humiliating on multiple levels. Like the fact that I’d never had an orgasm when I’d let all those guys fuck me. But Dr. Emory had said it was important not to keep secrets anymore, so I’d told them everything. And they’d needed to understand what had driven my compulsion…that it hadn’t ever been about sex. Which meant telling my fathers everything.

Including the way I’d met Brody and Quinn.

I hoped like hell it wouldn’t color their impression of my men because the first meeting between my parents and my boyfriends had gone surprisingly well. After they’d arrived, my fathers and I had sat down with Jax and Dane for coffee as I’d told them about my work and about Brody and Quinn. We hadn’t talked about therapy beyond the fact that we’d be meeting with my therapist the following day. After catching up, I’d taken my fathers to the CB Bar where Brody and Quinn had been waiting for us. My fathers had been polite, but reserved. Quinn and Brody had seemed a little nervous at first, but they hadn’t changed how they acted around me.

Which meant they’d often touched me or dropped random kisses on my mouth or temple. I wasn’t sure if that had helped or hurt their cause at first, but I’d reveled in it. Every time they did it, it was a reminder that all the shit I’d dropped on them a week earlier hadn’t changed anything.

Quinn and Brody and I hadn’t talked much about the things I’d shared and I suspected it would be a while before we did. I’d mentioned to them both that Dr. Emory had offered to have more joint sessions or even individual ones with them if they were struggling with their feelings. The fact that both men had agreed was yet another sign that they weren’t jumping ship.

Although the impending arrival of my fathers had still had me on edge, I’d felt more at ease than I ever had in my entire life. I was…happy.

Such a simple word and yet it was changing everything for me. Colors seemed brighter, food tasted better…the list was endless. I was finally living my life and I no longer cared if I was “normal” or not. Normal was relative. Many would say my relationship with two men at the same time wasn’t normal. My thoughts on the matter…so be it. I would choose them over some predefined notion of “normal” any day of the week.

My men and I had spent much of the last week talking about the future, including whether or not it made sense to live at the ranch in Quinn’s cottage. In the end, we’d decided we’d need to move at some point. Both to get something bigger and so that Brody could be closer to work and I could be closer to the city in case I did decide to pursue a degree as a vet tech. It would mean a short commute for Quinn, but he was fine with that. I’d talked to Callan about possibly continuing my education and he’d been very supportive and had told me I’d have a job at the CB Bar for as long as I wanted it.

“Mr. and Mr. Barretti, do you have any questions for your son or for me?” Dr. Emory asked when the worst of my fathers’ tears had subsided. My father, Cade, had his arms wrapped around my other father. They separated and wiped at their faces with tissues and then Cade was holding out his hand.

I got up and went to him and wasn’t surprised when he tugged me down between them. Fresh tears fell as they enveloped me in a tight embrace and told me they loved me and that everything would be okay. We stayed like that for several minutes until we’d calmed.

“What’s next for Beck?” Cade asked Dr. Emory. “And us?”

I understood my father’s question. He was feeling rudderless and had no idea where to go from here.

“Beck and I have agreed to continue to meet for the foreseeable future so he can work through some of the feelings he still has about everything and to work on finding healthy ways to deal with his stress. As for you and your husband, I’d like to suggest you come see me a couple more times, first without Beck and then with him, to talk about how you’re feeling. Hearing news like this…it’s a lot to process and many of the emotions you are feeling now will be amplified in the coming days as well as new emotions surfacing.”

I felt Cade nod as he kept his arm around my shoulder. “We’d appreciate that,” he said. “Will you be able to help us find a therapist in Seattle?”

---