Page 99 of The Finding Series: Vol. 2

“Running?” Beck asked in confusion.

I glanced at him and saw that he was indeed now looking at me. I tilted my head at him rather than say anything because I knew he knew what I was talking about. He eyed me a moment before pulling his gaze away.

“I didn’t know what to think,” he finally said. “People either talk to me too much after they find out the truth about me,” – his eyes shifted back to me – “or they don’t know what to say. I guess I figured you were in that category.”

My horse shifted beneath me and I realized it was because I’d stiffened in the saddle and the sensitive animal had sensed the change. I willed myself to relax as I said, “It wasn’t about you…not aboutthatanyway,” I said. “I kept my distance because I’m not used to someone seeing so much of me and that day in the truck-”

“I’m sorry about that,” Beck interjected. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you by bringing it up.”

“You didn’t,” I said softly. “Just listen for a second, okay?”

Beck flushed, but then nodded.

“I liked it,” I whispered. “Too much. You, Brody…not having to get through that moment alone. Griff was the only other person who knew how to ground me…I wasn’t expecting to ever feel that again and then you touched me and Brody…”

I sighed as the words I was trying to say continued to escape me. “I ignored you this week because I didn’t want to be tempted to take you up on what you were offering that day in the truck.”

Beck didn’t say anything. I cast him a quick glance and saw that he was staring straight ahead, but he didn’t really seem aware of his surroundings. Suspecting I’d made him uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation, I said, “We’ve got an entire summer of working together ahead of us, Beck. But I don’t want it to be like this past week so I’m hoping we can start over.”

“Um, yeah, okay,” Beck mumbled, but he still seemed lost in thought.

The awkwardness of the situation wasn’t lost on me and since I wasn’t sure what to say next, I kept my mouth shut and turned our horses onto a side trail that I knew would require us to ride single file. With Beck behind me, some of the tension inside of me eased. Neither of us spoke again until we reached the barn. We took turns washing our horses off and turning them out in their paddocks. I met up with Beck near the entrance of the barn and noticed the stray dog was watching the young man from beneath the tractor.

“I’ve got another interview at the lodge,” I said as I motioned in that direction. “You mind washing out water buckets?”

Beck nodded. “No problem.”

I started to go, but then forced myself to turn back to him. “Um, I’m cooking dinner tonight. I’d love it if you joined me.”

Beck tensed, but before he could speak, I said, “I asked Brody too. I’m not a great cook or anything, but I promise not to give you food poisoning or some shit like that.”

Jesus, could I be any more fucking awkward?

“Anyway, I figure it’s the least I can do for shortchanging you on your lunch. Even if it did make you a new friend,” I murmured as I motioned to the dog who’d come out of her hiding spot so she could watch Beck expectantly.

“Okay, thanks,” Beck murmured and I nodded. Not the most enthusiastic response, but it was the best I was going to get. Obviously, I’d upset Beck with my honesty about why I’d spent the better part of a week ignoring him. I guessed I’d be lucky if he even showed up for dinner tonight. Hell, between my awkward conversation with Beck and that bone-melting kiss with Brody, I’d very likely be cooking for one tonight.

ChapterTen

Beck

“Okay, all set.”

I jumped at the sound of Brody’s voice and turned to see him and Quinn walking towards me. I’d been pacing the small living area where the TV and two couches and several oversized chairs were located as I waited for Brody and Quinn to finish up with washing the dishes. It was the deal we’d come up with in the three nights we’d been eating together. Whoever cooked got out of clean-up duty. I’d made my dad’s semi-famous chicken casserole so after the last noodle had been eaten, I’d gotten to sit back and watch my dinner companions begin the process of cleaning up. Only, it had been impossible to sit there and watch the two men joke and laugh as they argued over who was washing and who was drying, so I’d left the kitchen to hide out in the TV room. I’d finally agreed to show both men pictures of my family so I couldn’t escape to my room like I had the past two nights.

And escape was exactly what I needed.

But for all the wrong reasons.

Because being around Brody and Quinn was driving me insane with need. I couldn’t understand the insatiable desire that held me in its grip every time I was around them. Neither had made a move on me in the three nights since we’d somehow formed a silent truce to be friends or colleagues or whatever the hell it was we were now. But that was all I fucking wanted one of them to do – to give me the excuse I needed to explore what was happening to me.

The first night after my ride with Quinn had been tense when we’d all arrived in the kitchen for dinner. Quinn had seemed nervous as he’d explained that all he’d made for us was macaroni and cheese, but that it had been his mother’s secret recipe and he hoped we liked it. We hadn’t spoken much as we’d eaten the surprisingly delicious meal, but then Brody had made a comment about how many more responses Quinn would have gotten on his dating ad if Mrs. Greene had mentioned his mama’s secret mac ‘n cheese dish. There’d been this long moment of awkward silence as Quinn had absorbed what Brody had said and then he’d laughed long and hard and the blanket of tension that had clung to us wafted away. We’d stuck to safe conversation topics the rest of the night. Afterwards, we’d stumbled through saying our good nights to one another, but the relief had been instantaneous when Brody had offered to cook the following night.

After Brody’s coma-inducing fettuccini alfredo, we’d sat around the table long after the food had been consumed and chatted some more, but we’d steered clear of any topics that would threaten the laid-back atmosphere. Brody had suggested watching a movie, but I’d been too wrapped up in my emotions to agree. Not to mention the dull, throbbing ache in my body that never seemed to go away at this point. I’d given up on trying to avoid jerking off to the image of both men in my shower…in fact, I was doing it twice a day now.

“The couch okay?”

I jolted to awareness as I said, “What?” a little bit too loudly.

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