Scars.

“What happened to him?” I automatically asked as my eyes flicked over the rest of the horse’s body.

“His former owner took exception to being thrown off whenever King here got spooked. Took a weighted whip to him.”

“Wow,” I murmured softly as I ran my hand down the horse’s face. “After all that and he still trusts people…”

Quinn approached the horse’s head and I struggled not to move back like I was tempted to.

“Took years to earn his trust,” Quinn said softly as he slipped the animal’s bridle off and replaced it with a halter. His eyes pinned mine as he said, “It takes just seconds to destroy trust, but a lifetime to get it back.”

I flinched at that.

I couldn’t help but think he wasn’t just talking about the horse.

Fuck, I really didn’t want him to know the truth about me…

“Here,” Quinn said as he handed me the lead rope. “Time for your first lesson.” Quinn started to reach for me, but then seemed to rethink the move because he took a step back. “You lead a horse on his left side.”

I got into what I could only hope was the right position and glanced over my shoulder at Quinn.

“Okay, take him a few steps forward and then turn him around – we’re going out this door,” he said as he motioned behind him.

I took a few steps forward and was glad when King followed me. I wasn’t sure about the turning around part, but the horse again followed my lead and I easily got him facing the right direction. I followed Quinn out the back door of the barn and towards a small space with three cement walls and a cement floor with a drain in it.

“Bring him in here,” Quinn said and I led the horse to where he was waiting. “This is a wash stall,” he explained as he took the lead from me. “You can tie him up here so you’ll have both hands free to wash him down.”

I nodded in understanding and watched as Quinn explained how to secure the lead to the small metal ring affixed to the wall. “This is a release knot,” he explained. “It will let you release the lead quickly if the horse starts to spook.” He showed me how pulling hard on one end of the lead caused the whole knot to unravel. He demonstrated once more before handing me the lead and saying, “You try.”

I forced myself not to focus on his strong fingers as I took the lead from him and went through the motions. It wasn’t until I drew the knot tight that I felt my insides clench. The lead rope was made of nylon, but all I felt was smooth fibers of rope as it rested lightly in my hand.

“Beck.”

Quinn’s voice sounded far away, but I made myself turn to look at him, mostly because he sounded kind of scared which was a quality I couldn’t associate with him.

“Beck,” he said again softly and then I felt warmth surrounding my hand and I glanced down to see his fingers resting on my hand…the hand I currently had curled around the knot on the lead rope and whose knuckles had gone white with the tight hold I had on the material.

Blue nylon…notwhite rope.

Awareness slowly returned as Quinn’s warmth seeped into my skin and I remembered how good it had felt to have his calloused fingers linking with mine against the wall as he’d held me impossibly close to him.

I hadn’t just felt indescribable pleasure that night – I’d felt protected and safe.

I’dfelt.

“Beck,” Quinn said for a third time and the cobwebs in my brain finally disintegrated and I remembered where I was. I looked at my hand in disbelief as I realized I’d practically been fondling the knot on the lead rope like it was a lover. I shot a glance at Quinn and felt my stomach drop out when I saw the pity in his gaze.

He knows.

I wanted to curl up into a ball as I realized he knew what I’d been thinking which meant he knew what I’d done fifteen months ago.

Even how I’d done it.

Humiliation swamped my entire body and I struggled to remain upright. I tugged my hand free of his and managed to say, “What’s next?”

“Beck-”

“What’s next?” I repeated as I stepped away from Quinn and escaped to the other side of King’s neck.