Page 132 of The Finding Series: Vol. 2

“Yes and no,” he said. “I was up at my brother and Luke’s cabin which is a few miles from where you were. I was helping Gray with some investment stuff. Jax called about twenty minutes ago to say you were missing so I left to help search. Luke was getting ready to go out too. I saw your taillights through the trees.”

“Did they tell you what happened today?” I asked.

“They told me what Dale did to Lilah. Lilah has declined to press charges. Gabriella had Dale escorted off the property.”

That was good news at least. But it didn’t answer my question about whether or not Roman knew what I’d said in front of everyone. I didn’t have the guts to ask him, so I fell silent.

Several minutes passed before Roman spoke again and I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound of his voice.

“Beck, I need you to know that I would never hurt you.”

I swallowed hard at that. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise that the man could tell I was afraid of him. “I know that in here,” I murmured as I pointed at my chest. “But here is another story,” I said as I pointed to my head.

“Did I do or say something-”

“No,” I interjected when I heard the dejection in his voice. “It’s not just you. Certain types of men…”

I shook my head because I couldn’t find the words to explain it to him. Not any words that would make any sense anyway. “It’s me,” I finally said. “I’m not right in the head.”

I felt Roman’s eyes on me even in the darkness of the interior of the car, but I didn’t look at him.

“I don’t believe that,” he said softly.

“Believe it,” I whispered as the shame crawled through me. “Because even though a part of me knows you’re a good man and that you love your husband, the other part can’t help but wonder if you’re going to pull this car over and tell me to get in the back seat so you can fuck me. And thereallysick, fucked-up part of mewantsme to tell you to do it, to seduce you into doing it…even though it isn’t what I want at all.”

I glanced at him and wasn’t surprised to see that my words had most definitely gotten his attention. “Now tell me again that I’m right in the head.”

ChapterNineteen

Quinn

“Quinn, he’s here,” I heard Brody call from the barn door. I quickly put the horse I was working on in his stall and then rushed outside. My heart didn’t cease its painful contractions until I spied Beck wrapped up in Brody’s arms. They were standing next to Beck’s open car door.

Emotion clogged my throat as I came to a stop and just stood there and watched them. Even though I’d known he’d been safe after last night’s call, it felt like I’d been on a non-stop adrenaline rush from the moment he’d run off and I was just now starting to crash.

To say Brody and I had been in a near panic yesterday had been an understatement. From the moment we’d walked into the building and heard the muffled shouts, we’d been in overdrive. The sight of Beck on top of Dale, his fist slamming into the man’s face over and over had shocked me to the point that I’d actually stopped moving forward. So Brody had reached them first and pulled Beck off of the man who’d been trying to defend himself by covering his face with his arms. Lilah had been plastered in the corner, sobbing hysterically. She’d calmed only after Gabriella had taken her into her arms.

The whole thing had been surreal. Seeing the blood on Dale’s face, on Beck’s hands. Hearing what had set Beck off. Finally getting confirmation that Beck had indeed suffered at the hands of men in his past.

They had no right…I didn’t want it! I never wanted it!

He clearly hadn’t meant to blurt the truth out that way, but in a way, I was glad it had happened.

I wasn’t glad about what had happened next.

Watching Beck run again had been one of the worst moments in my life. It was confirmation that he still didn’t trust us one hundred percent. Not to mention that I’d never seen him so upset…not even the day he’d run from the CB Bar and hit the tree with his car. That had been first and foremost in my mind as he’d fled and while I’d forced myself to remain behind so Dale wouldn’t be alone with the two women, I’d been devastated when Brody had returned moments later without Beck.

We’d stayed at the resort long enough to contact the police. It was Jax who’d arrived to deal with things. We’d had no choice but to tell him everything, including what Beck had said. Dale had started spouting off some bullshit about how he wanted to press charges against Beck, but Jax had silenced him with a few choice words that a sworn officer probably shouldn’t be saying and then he’d gotten Lilah’s side of the story. Luckily, he’d believed the young woman one hundred percent and he’d put Dale in handcuffs. Since Lilah had refused to press charges, Jax hadn’t been able to do more than escort Dale off the property. As frantic as Brody and I had been to go after Beck, we’d been more than happy to clean out Dale’s few belongings so there’d be no reason for him to return to the resort.

We’d coordinated with Jax where we were going to search and then he’d taken off to get Dale out of there. Gabriella had taken a still shaken Lilah home with her and Brody and I had hit the road in search of our lover. We’d tried calling him repeatedly before we’d left, but there’d been no answer and it had been Brody who’d thought to check our room for Beck’s cell phone. Sure enough, it had been sitting in the charger. That had raised our distress to a whole new level.

We hadn’t talked much as we’d searched, but as each hour had passed, we’d started to reach for one another when the fear became too much. When Jax had called to let us know he’d called Roman, Callan and the rest of the extended family to help search, Brody and I had been even more terrified.

It had been another half an hour before we’d finally gotten the call that he was safe. And then Beck had torn our hearts out by telling us he wasn’t ready to come home.

Brody and I had spent the night just holding onto one another in our too-empty bed. I’d been tempted to go to Roman’s house on more than one occasion to try and talk to Beck, but holding on to Beck’s words had helped.

I promise I’ll come home tomorrow.

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