Page 114 of The Finding Series: Vol. 2

I lifted my eyes and gave her a quick nod. “Yeah, I’m good.”

I saw the pity in her gaze and knew what she was likely thinking. That I was crushing on either Brody or Quinn, but that they were a couple, leaving me out in the cold. I could have told her the truth, but I didn’t because I’d finally begun to realize that just like most everything else in my life, my version of the truth didn’t exist.

Just cold, hard reality.

And I’d had enough of that to last a fucking lifetime.

ChapterFourteen

Brody

Beck was a no-show for dinner. He’d made the excuse that he had a headache when I’d gone to knock on his door to check up on him, but since he’d said it through his locked door, I hadn’t believed him.

Neither did Quinn.

And we both knew the cause.

We’d seen it in his gaze as he’d watched us together while we were cooking. I hadn’t even given much thought to kissing Quinn…it had just felt so natural that I’d done it instinctively after he’d made a joke about me being up next on Mrs. Greene’s matchmaking list. I hadn’t cared that Lilah had seen the move because I knew she wouldn’t have a problem with it. Quinn had told me that Roman had found her through an outreach program he was participating in with an LGBT center for kids in Missoula that helped find homeless kids jobs. So I doubted the young woman would be upset by the sight of two men kissing.

No, Beck had been my concern.

Because I’d seen almost instantly the look of pain that had flashed in his eyes before he’d dropped them to the floor. From that moment on, he’d been a mile away. Quinn and I had held dinner for a while in the hopes that he’d join us, but when he hadn’t, we’d both ended up pushing our untouched plates away and packing the leftovers in the fridge for later.

It was a familiar scene as we reached Beck’s door, only this time I was the one to knock.

“Beck, can you open the door please?” I asked.

We were greeted with silence. Since the kitchen had a window with a view of the barn, we’d been able to see that his car was still here so I wasn’t concerned that he’d left. I’d also heard the smallest of barks coming from within the room. Since Beck and his new pet were practically tied at the hip these days, I highly doubted he’d left without her. A shimmer of worry went through me that his silence was because of a darker reason than him just being angry or upset, but I refused to dwell on it simply because I couldn’t.

He wasn’t the same young man he’d been in that bathroom at the club. No, he hadn’t done a complete one-eighty, but I’d seen enough changes to know he was doing relatively well. Quinn and I often talked after Beck left us in bed so he could go feed the horses in the morning and we’d come to the conclusion that we needed to table the sexual activity so we could show Beck that he meant so much more to us than that. Although Quinn and I had often had some kind of physical contact those mornings, it never went beyond a few soft touches and the occasional gentle kiss. Until we were at a point where we all understood what exactly our relationship was, we’d decided to keep it platonic.

Until I’d fucked things up with an innocent kiss.

Quinn knocked on the door and then tried the knob. “Beck-” he began, but before he could say anything else, the door swung open. But we weren’t greeted by an angry Beck like last time. No, before we even entered the room, Beck had retreated to the bed and sat down. The dog jumped up next to him, licked his lax hands and then lay down next to him.

I closed the door behind me and watched as Quinn settled next to Beck, the dog separating their bodies. I held off on sitting on his other side because I didn’t want to crowd him.

“Beck, what is it that you think you saw earlier in the kitchen?” Quinn asked. I watched as he brushed some unruly hair behind Beck’s ear. My gut tightened when Beck leaned away from his touch instead of towards it.

Damn it, how had I managed to fuck this up?

“I get it,” Beck whispered. “It’s okay. I understand.”

“What do you understand?” I asked.

“You two…you want to be together but you didn’t want to hurt my feelings-”

“God, I want to kick the ass of whoever did this to you,” Quinn interjected, his voice rising in anger.

The comment surprised me as well as Beck. The young man turned to look at Quinn, his eyes wide.

“Whoever the fucker is who made you believe you weren’t worth anything doesn’t deserve to hold that kind of power over you, Beck. Brody and I have spent the last ten nights in this bed with you. Do you really think we only did that because we feel sorry for you? Or out of some sense of obligation? Do you think we wait until you leave the room each morning and then fuck each other’s brains out?” Quinn snapped.

Beck lowered his head. A clear sign hehadbeen thinking that.

“What about the rest of it, Beck?” he asked. “The way Brody massages your shoulders at night while we’re watching a movie? The fact that we all crowd onto that tiny fucking couch in front of the TV despite there being plenty of other places to sit? Do you think I just go around touching any guy the way I touch you every single day?”

Beck gnawed at his upper lip, but remained silent.

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