Page 51 of The Finding Series: Vol. 1

Holy shit.Jax closed his eyes in disbelief at the realization that the man on his lap had managed to make him come harder than he ever had in his entire life and they’d been fully clothed and barely touched. He released Dane’s arms and let his hands glide down until they were resting on Dane’s thighs. He could tell instantly when Dane awoke from his haze of pleasure because the muscles under his palms tightened. And then Dane was scrambling off his lap, a look of horror passing over his face as he took in the wet stain on Jax’s pants, then his own.

“Shit,” Dane muttered. Jax steeled himself for the verbal wounding he knew would be forthcoming. “Jax, I’m sorry,” Dane whispered as he backed away.

Not exactly the words Jax was expecting, but before he could respond Dane was rushing out of the kitchen and hurrying up the stairs. Jax sighed. At least the guy hadn’t tried to kick him out yet again. It was something.

* * *

Dane felt shame course through him as he pulled his sticky pants and underwear off. What the hell had he done? Dane stepped into the shower and instantly began washing away the evidence that he’d just rutted shamelessly on a man he barely knew and hadn’t even managed to last more than two minutes before coming in his pants like some teenage virgin. God, even when he’d been a virgin, his first performance had been better than the spectacle that had just happened in his kitchen…in a fucking chair! And to make matters worse, his dick was already hardening again as he remembered how good Jax had tasted, felt.

He’d known that kissing Jax would be a mistake but that hadn’t even slowed him down when he’d gotten out of that chair and grabbed the other man. Part of him hadn’t wanted to give Jax a chance to refuse him. The other part hadn’t wanted to chicken out before he got that one taste he’d been craving since laying eyes on the gorgeous stranger. Dane leaned his forehead against the shower wall, careful to avoid putting pressure on his injury.

“Idiot,” he whispered to himself.

Suddenly he felt a breeze behind him as the shower door was yanked open and then Jax, fully dressed, was stepping into the shower and spinning Dane around to face him.

“What exactly are you sorry for?”

“What?” Dane asked in confusion, still reeling from Jax’s intrusion. Jax crowded against him until Dane’s back hit the cold tile behind him.

“You said you were sorry. For what?” Jax snapped. “Are you sorry for what happened or sorry it was with me?”

Dane opened his mouth to speak but couldn’t force the humiliating words out. But when Jax cursed and turned to leave, Dane grabbed his arm and pulled him back. “I’m sorry because I practically assaulted you. And I couldn’t even hold out long enough to…” His voice trailed off and he dropped his eyes.

“Long enough to what?” Jax asked, his body once again pressing against Dane’s.

“To touch you the way I wanted,” Dane admitted, his humiliation complete. There was a moment of silence and then he felt Jax’s body shift against his.

“Then do it now,” Jax said and he looked up to see Jax working the buttons on his shirt free. Dane swallowed hard as the soaking wet shirt hit the shower floor with a splat. Dane tried to remind himself that not five minutes ago he’d been reprimanding himself for starting this whole thing with a kiss but the sight of Jax’s perfect chest made every thought leave his brain. Well defined pecs, hard six-pack abs, muscular forearms and huge biceps. Even Isaac with his model good looks couldn’t hold a candle to this man. Dane felt a flash of shame go through him at the thought of Isaac but forced it back. Isaac wasn’t here and Jax was and Dane needed to touch…be touched.

“You’re perfect,” Dane murmured as he reached out to trail his fingers down Jax’s midsection. Jax shuddered beneath his touch and Dane felt a rush of power go through him at the realization that he was responsible for it. He kept up his exploration, enjoying the feel of the hot, tight skin. Jax groaned when Dane’s fingers skimmed along his lower back and disappeared under the waistband of his slacks which were now stuck to the man like a second skin. He let the tip of one finger inspect the crease at the top of Jax’s ass and he wondered if Jax was exclusively a top or bottom or both.

“Yes,” Jax said.

Dane looked up in surprise and wondered if he had somehow spoken his thought aloud.

“I can see it in your eyes - you’re wondering if I’d let you take me. The answer is yes. Absolutely yes,” Jax said before he leaned down and kissed Dane hard. Dane moaned at the onslaught of feelings that rushed through him and then Jax’s hands were skimming over his shoulders and down his chest. A pang of insecurity shot through Dane and he grabbed Jax’s wrists.

“What? What is it?” Jax asked.

“I-” Dane started to say but then his mouth dried up and he couldn’t get the words out.

“I would never hurt you,” Jax whispered as he leaned down to press a soft kiss on Dane’s lips. God how Dane wanted to believe that but he wasn’t the first man to make such a promise. And he wouldn’t be the first to break it either.

“It’s not that,” Dane managed to admit. Then he bit the bullet and said, “I don’t look like you.”

* * *

It took Jax a minute to get what Dane was trying to explain to him and he was so keyed up that part of him wanted to brush away Dane’s concerns as nerves so they could get to the good stuff. But when Dane looked up at him he could see the insecurity deep in the man’s eyes. Jax knew he needed to tread carefully because someone had clearly done a number on Dane in the past.

“What do you mean?” he asked, allowing Dane to maintain his death grip on his wrists. Jax could actually see Dane’s skin flush red with his humiliation.

“I’m forty-two, Jax. I’ve got gray hairs and wrinkles. I can’t even remember the last time I went to a gym. I’m pale as a ghost because I wear sunscreen religiously and I think the episode downstairs proved just how little staying power I have.” The words came out in such a rush that Dane actually appeared to need to catch his breath afterwards.

“Can I have my wrists back?” Jax asked.

Dane looked down at where he was still hanging on to Jax before quickly releasing him. Jax didn’t miss the flare of disappointment flash through Dane. He grabbed Dane’s hands and lifted them above his head and pinned them to the shower wall with one hand.

“You ready to hear what I see?” Jax asked as Dane squirmed in his hold. He didn’t wait for Dane to respond as he trailed his free hand over Dane’s collarbone. “I see perfect, soft skin that I want to lick every inch of.” Jax continued his path of exploration down Dane’s side.

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