Page 118 of The Finding Series: Vol. 1

“I didn’t mean those things I said at the police station,” Luke said softly.

Gray surprised him by saying, “I know.”

Hope flared to life in Luke’s chest and he closed the distance between them but Gray held out his hand to stop him and his whole body appeared to curl in on itself like it was trying to protect itself from Luke’s touch. The sight had bile rising up in Luke’s throat. “Gray…” he whispered in confusion.

“I know you said those things to drive me away. I get that,” Gray said hoarsely. “But they’re in my head now – they’re all I fucking hear,” his face crumpled and tears began falling from his eyes.

Luke stepped back as shockwaves went through him. God, what the hell had he done? He hadn’t just wounded Gray – he’d fucking torn him apart. Horror slammed into him as he realized that while Gray had recovered from the brutal beating Shaw had inflicted on him, he was still hemorrhaging from the wounds that Luke’s cruel, careless words had left behind.

“Gray, tell me how to fix this,” he pleaded desperately.

Gray just shook his head and wiped at his face with his sleeve. “Can’t,” was all he said.

Cold settled into Luke’s chest and he began to feel lightheaded so he sat down on Gray’s bed. “I thought…I thought I was doing the right thing. I really did, Gray,” he whispered as he looked up to search out the other man’s eyes. But Gray’s head was turned away and Luke knew his presence was only hurting him more. He’d lost him. He’d fucking lost Gray…and all because he’d been too scared to let the only person besides Rhys who ever truly loved him all the way in.

Luke forced himself to stand even though his legs felt like they were going to give out any minute. “Um, your brother stopped by the hospital…he wanted me to tell you ‘thanks for the nightlight.’ I hope you know what that means because he didn’t stick around long enough to explain.”

Luke turned to go but stopped when he heard Gray say, “It was the first night he came to live with us. He came into my room crying because he was afraid his mom wouldn’t be able to find him from heaven. I gave him my nightlight and told him it would help her find her way so she could watch over him.”

Another wave of agony tore through Luke as he said, “Don’t let him push you away, Gray.”

With those words, Luke’s voice finally broke and he barely managed to whisper, “I love you, Gray” before he hurried from the room, tears flooding his vision. He thought he heard his name being called but he didn’t have the courage to turn around and find out in case it wasn’t true, so he rushed down the stairs and yanked the door open. Something hit him from behind, forcing the door shut and Luke lost it as he felt Gray’s solid body pressed up against his back. Sobs racked his body as gentle hands turned him around and he went willing into Gray’s arms when they wrapped around him.

* * *

Relief flooded Gray’s entire system as Luke clung to him. In the split second he’d watched Luke leave his room, Gray had relived every moment they’d had together and while the hurt from Luke’s words in the police station was still there, the joy and peace Luke had brought him were stronger and he knew that letting Luke go wasn’t an option.

“Gray, I love you so much,” Luke whispered against his neck. Gray could feel hot tears soaking through his shirt but he wasn’t a hundred percent sure they were just Luke’s. “I never wanted to hurt you…”

“I know, baby,” Gray murmured against Luke’s ear before pressing a gentle kiss to his head. “We’ll figure it out. Just…just don’t leave me again, okay?”

He thought he heard Luke whisper “never” against his neck but he wasn’t sure. When Luke’s sobs slowed, Gray linked their hands and led him back up the stairs. He pushed the suitcase to the floor, sat Luke down on the bed and worked his shoes off. Gray crawled over Luke and lay down on the bed, holding his hand out. Luke took it instantly, settling down next to him, putting his head on Gray’s chest. The arms that wrapped around Gray were like steel bands but Gray didn’t protest the tight hold – he relished it.

They lay like that for a while and Gray didn’t even realize they’d fallen asleep until he woke up and saw that it was dark outside. Luke stirred against him and when his lax grip tightened, Gray knew he was awake.

“What happened in Georgia?” he asked.

“Lots of legal shit and red tape and then endless debriefings. I lost track after a while because it seemed like all I was doing was answering the same questions over and over.”

“They dropped the charges?”

Luke nodded. “I should have listened to you, Gray. About the lawyer, about asking Rhys and Jax for help – all of it.”

“It all worked out,” Gray murmured.

He was surprised when Luke suddenly shifted his weight so that he was hovering over him. “Don’t do that,” Luke said softly. “Don’t let me off like it was nothing.” Luke’s fingers came up to trace the scar on his face.

“I wanted you to trust me,” Gray finally admitted. “I wanted to give you what you gave me.”

“You did,” Luke whispered and then he was reaching across Gray to turn the light on the nightstand on. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a wad of folded up pages. “I had to fill out a ton of forms for the hearings, my discharge papers, the debriefings…but I didn’t actually notice what I’d been doing until I filled out the paperwork for the storage place where I left my stuff after I moved it out of base housing.”

Luke flattened out all the papers and handed them to Gray. Gray wasn’t sure what he was looking for and was about to ask when he finally saw it. His name. It was written in theNext of Kin/Emergency Contactsection. He sucked in a breath when he flipped to the next page and saw the same thing. Every single page had his name on it instead of the fake name Luke had used for the mother who didn’t exist.

“I finally have someone who cares if I come home or not,” Luke whispered against his lips.

“Always,” Gray said just before Luke’s mouth closed over his.

* * *

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