Page 5 of Charming Cruel Boys

“Yes, sir.”I tip my chin down, trying to hide my emotions. He never likes it when I show anything other than the plastic, polite, polished daughter he’s molded me into.

When I leave my father’s office, instead of going to calculus, I spend the entire period hiding in the bathroom. I’ll claim I had cramps if the teacher questions me tomorrow. I’m just not strong enough to deal with Knight today after seeing Duke and getting shot down by my dad.

3

Duke

Isawherthismorning for the first time in three months and my heart stopped beating. Memories of summer nights in her sweet pink bedroom floored me all at once. And with it came resentment. I spent the last night of my dad’s life fucking Remi Williams. I ignored Knight’s phone calls until it was too late. By the time I got back home, my dad was gone.It’s my fault just as much as it is her’s, but trust me, I have plenty of hate for the both of us.

My legs burn as I push myself harder, racing around the track in PE, trying to outrun all those emotions.I love her. I hate her. I miss Dad. I don’t know who I am anymore.

Before my dad died, before things ended with Remi, I was happy. So fucking unbelievably happy. I had the girl of my dreams, a supportive family, and my music. It was my dad who pushed me to go after my dreams in the first place.You can’t turn your back on your amazing talent, Duke,he told me one day when he walked in on me playing an original song on my hand-me-down guitar.So what if it doesn’t pan out just the way you want it to? You give it everything you got and I’ll be proud of you no matter what.

In one night, I lost everything. My dad, my girlfriend, and the ability to pick up my guitar. I’m just empty these days. Mom is works extra hours, making up for the loss of income from Dad, and Knight turned to booze and drugs and fucking every girl he could. I have a few friends, but none that I’m close enough with to talk about Dad with. Knight was always my best friend. Now I’m alone and angry and miserable.

So I keep pushing myself, keep running, until I’m lapping half the class and my lungs are screaming instead of my memories. “You good?” Knight asks effortlessly as he catches up to me.

I nod, keeping my mouth shut as I speed up. But Knight is the better runner, and he keeps pace with me easily. He’s the athlete of the two of us, the dick.

“I ran into little miss perfect in the hallway today,” he says sarcastically.

“Who?” I ask flatly, pretending that I don’t know exactly who he’s talking about.

“Remi. She was hot as fuck in a little pair of tight jeans. Had me sporting a semi all the way into class.”He groans obscenely and cups his nuts, even as we’re running.

I shoot him a glare, grinding my teeth, nostrils flaring. “Fuck off, man.”

Chuckling, he punches my shoulder playfully. “Too bad the bitch is the only reason you weren’t there when Dad died,”he adds casually, like we’re talking about what we ate for breakfast and not the girl who ripped the remains of my battered heart right out of my bleeding chest.

I stop dead on the spot, turning to Knight and shoving his chest. “What the hell? I said fuck off. I don’t want to talk about Remi or Dad right now. I’m not doing this with you, Knight.”Maybe I’m on edge because of seeing her again after a long summer of trying to erase those memories, but Knight’s pissing me off. He’s never brought Remi up. And anytime I’ve brought up Dad, he shuts me down and storms away, coming back drunk and grumpy.

Knight steps closer, brushing his chest with mine, eyes wild. “Just thought I’d remind you, in case you got it in your head to give things another shot. There’s plenty of other tight asses in town.”

I scoff at him, curling my lips in a snarl. “She never even bothered to check in with me after Dad. I never heard a word from her. We came back to school after the worst few of weeks of my life, and she acted like whatever we had never happened. So no worries there. Remi is as good as dead to me.”

The venom in my voice doesn’t waver, but the sharp pain that shoots through my chest reminds me that I’m not over her. Fucking pathetic if you ask me, considering the one time I did try to approach her last year, she asked if we could have the conversation after school instead. I agreed, desperate and lovesick, but then I waited over an hour on the bleachers in the football field and she never fucking showed. It was the answer I needed. I moved on after that. Never even spared her another glance.

Knight slaps me on the back, dragging me from my memories and hatred. “Good to know, brother.”

I start jogging again, building up my walls. Remi Williams means nothing… All I need to focus on this year is getting my mind right again and getting back into music before I blow my shot at the future I’ve always dreamed about. Doing so would mean letting Dad down and I won’t allow that.

I don’t have time for a girl who doesn’t want me.

***

“Why do I have to wear this shit?” Knight grumbles as we pile into Mom’s Trailblazer. He’s tugging at the collar of his black button-up shirt, shifting in his seat.

“You look great, honey,” our mom says, patting his cheek like he’s a twelve-year-old. Not that he doesn’t act like it sometimes. “You both look so handsome. You’re the spitting image of your fa—“

“Don’t,” Knight snaps sharply, cutting her off.

I lock gazes with my mom in the rearview mirror, and I ache at the sorrow in her expression. “Thanks, Mom. You look beautiful.” She gives me a soft smile, blowing me a kiss in the mirror. Then she starts the car and drives us downtown.

Knight jumps out of the car the second it stops, lighting up a cigarette despite Mom’s constant pleading for him not to smoke. Or drink. Or party until ridiculous hours of the night. Doesn’t matter how hard she tries. Ever since Dad died, Knight’s been on a nonstop bender. Either high or drunk every minute of his free time. I think Mom’s just given up. She trusts me to keep him alive at this point and that’s about it.

Knight’s pacing up and down the sidewalk, jaw ticking in anger. He’s always been an asshole, but in the last year, it’s kicked up several notches.I wish he would stop for a second and realize that I’m struggling too. He doesn’t have to push me away, we should be there for each other, sharing camping stories and laughing over the good memories we had before Dad passed.

Mom looks at me with those big green eyes, silently begging me to get him under control. Like usual, lately. She’s just grieving too badly to try to wrangle her asshole son all the time. It’s the least I can do for her. Nodding, I say, “I got him. You go inside, and we’ll meet you in there.” I gesture to the restaurant we’re standing in front of, tucking a hand in my pocket. She nods and hurries inside, but not before her sad eyes cut to Knight once more.

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