Page 56 of Charming Cruel Boys

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After a long night, Andrew helped me get Duke and Remi home and into bed. Charles went to bed and Mom was passed out on the couch waiting for us. I didn’t wake her, though. She doesn’t need to worry tonight.

Sitting on the edge of Remi’s bed, yanking my hair, I tip my head back, close my eyes, and sigh. I don’t have the strength for anything anymore. Warm hands wrap around my wrists, pulling my hands from my hair. I open my eyes and search Remi’s gaze. “How are you feeling?” I ask her in a low voice.

Remi bites her lip and drops her eyes. With a sniffle, she says, “It’s coming in waves now. I think whatever she gave me is slowly wearing off. One minute, I feel fuzzy and weird, and the next, I can form normal thoughts.”

I gently tip her chin up, forcing her to look at me. I need her to see what this has done to me. “Finding you guys in Andrew’s room was one of the worst moments of my life. I’m so fucking sorry Sara did this.”

“Thank you for getting there in time,” Remi whispers, her lips trembling.

I brush my thumb over them, trying to calm the storm swirling in her eyes. Remi raises her hand and mimics me, trailing her thumb over my lips. I smile and cup her cheek. “I know my actions have been contradictory, but I will always keep you safe. That’s all this has been about. I do what I have to so you and Duke are protected.”

Remi furrows her brows, shaking her head at me as she drops her hand to her lap. “I want to believe that, but sometimes you’re so guarded, so cruel. If you could tell me what’s going on, what is it that you think you’re saving us from, maybe I could understand.”

I stare into her gray eyes, the pupils almost back to their normal size. Could I tell her? And Duke? It would answer a lot of their questions. I wouldn’t have to be the bad guy anymore. I could be honest and let the cards fall where they may and hope Remi still sees me the same after. Dread curls low in my stomach at the idea. I told my dad, and he got shot the next night. His death is on me. I can’t risk their lives too.

“If we make it to graduation and get out of this fucking town, I’ll tell you everything… About the day you caught my eye freshman year and didn’t even realize it. How much I’ve ached for your attention and kindness every day since. How miserable I felt every time Duke snuck back home after spending hours with you, knowing that he loved you just as much as I did... Just as much as I do.” I pause, letting that truth sink in. No matter what happens, how we all move forward from tonight, I want Remi to know that I love her.

“What about that girl you told me about? Your perfect girl?” she asks quietly, leaning away from me like she needs to protect herself from my next blow.

I take her hand in mine, rubbing my thumb over her smooth skin. “She’s you. She’s always been you, and there’ll never be anyone else.”

A single tear falls down Remi’s cheek, and she leans in, pressing her mouth to mine in a soft, hesitant kiss. She coaxes my mouth open and caresses my tongue with a gentleness we’ve never shared before. It soothes away all the cracks in my heart. With Remi in my arms, I can finally breathe.

37

Remi

Iwakewithapounding in my head worse than I’ve ever felt before. It feels like someone drilled a hole right into my skull and played around with my brain. I groan as I blink my eyes open, overheated and covered in a cold sweat. I try to stretch but I’m caged in by two hard bodies.

“Hey, baby girl, how are you feeling?” Knight mumbles quietly beside me. When I peer up at him, I have the strangest sensation come over me, like wanting to erupt into tears at the sight of him.

“Um, I’m not sure. My head is killing me. What happened last night?” As I say the words, flashes of the night before assault my mind, and I gasp, frantically searching for Duke. I find him on my other side, still sleeping peacefully as if he wasn’t assaulted by someone I trusted. Someone I let into my home and into my life.It’s my fault, I think as Duke’s chest rises and falls with steady breaths.

“Hey, shh. None of that, Remi. I can see the panic in your eyes, but I’m not going to let it swallow you. It’s okay, you’re both going to be alright,” Knight whispers behind me, gently rubbing his hand over my arm. With careful movements, he turns me back to face him and curls an arm around my waist, pulling me close, and I melt against him. He kisses my forehead before saying, “I was so fucking scared when I found you both. I’ll never let you out of my sight again. Either of you.”

“How did you get us home? What happened with Sara? Everything is so blurry in my head.”

“Andrew helped me. He called the cops and got everyone else out. They arrived, took Sara into custody, and then gave me the go-ahead to get you two home. You were too out of it to answer any questions, and Duke was passed out. Expect a call or something soon, though. I imagine the police will want to talk to you guys and get the whole story.”

I nod, trying to force my aching brain to unscramble the night before and piece everything together in the right order. I peek over my shoulder at Duke, reassuring myself that he’s alright. “Is he just sleeping, or is it the drugs still?”I ask quietly.

Knight’s brows furrow as he looks at his brother over my head. “The drugs. I don’t know what Sawyer gave him, but he’s going to be out for a while, I think. He’s hardly stirred at all since we’ve been home.”

“Wait, Sawyer?” My eyes nearly bug out of my head at this revelation. “Why would he do that?”

“I have no clue. He came to me and said he messed up after the fact, and then ditched the party. He was probably worried I’d find him again once I got to Duke... If anything had happened to either of you, anythingworse, I mean, I would have killed Sawyer for his part in it. Sara, too.“ Knight’s voice drops to a dangerously rough, low murmur, and I get goosebumps. It’s not that he scares me. Not at all. But as safe as I feel wrapped up in his arms, I also know he’s being serious. I don’t put it past Knight to commit murder for someone he loves. He’s always been violently protective, especially for Duke.

I remember a time in middle school when a few bullies cornered Duke in the cafeteria. They picked on him relentlessly for months, but this day they got physical. It was four against one and Duke didn’t stand a chance. They made fun of his preppy clothes and called him a pussy because he spent his time learning guitar and piano instead of playing sports. The four of them were taking turns shoving Duke around and yanking on his button-up shirt, and then all of a sudden, Knight stormed in.

I remember how eerie it was when the low chatter in the cafeteria died, everyone holding their breath as they watched. Knight tore the guys away from his brother and threw a lightning-fast punch at the leader of the stupid group. He was fuming as he helped Duke stand and shot scathing glares at the four boys before he took Duke to the school nurse.

The memory makes me smile, despite my rising panic and guilt over everything with Sara. Knight has always been a silent guardian. I giggle as another memory slams into me. “Did I call you a knight in shining armor at some point?” I screw my face up in playful embarrassment.

Knight laughs softly, brushing some hair out of my face and smiling down at me. “I’ll gladly accept the title. It’s the nicest thing you’ve ever called me,” he jokes back. “Not saying I didn’t deserve all the insults and crude names along the way.”

I put my hand over my heart and drop my jaw. “I’m shocked. Knight Ashbury admitting his mistakes? Has hell frozen over? If I look outside, will there be flying pigs?”

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