Page 64 of Charming Cruel Boys

Knight’s eyes fly open, and he looks around in a panic. When his eyes find mine and then drop to my wrist, he looks scared out of his mind. He releases me quickly, scooting back against the headboard and staring at the mottled blue and black around my wrist that my father put there. “Did I hurt you?” he whispers, his voice broken and raspy.

I don’t get a chance to say anything before he’s pulling me into his lap, banding both arms tight around me and nuzzling his face into my neck. His rapid breaths are warm against my skin and his heart is thundering against my chest.

I brush my fingers over his head, through his unruly hair, and gently pull his face back. When our eyes meet, I ask, “Are you okay?”

Knight starts to nod and I narrow my eyes in warning. With a heavy exhale, he closes his eyes and rests his forehead against mine. “I haven’t been okay for a long time, baby girl. I’m fucking damaged.”

“Don’t say that,” I mumble, stroking a hand up and down his back, trying to relax his muscles. “I’m here regardless, and I l—“Whoa there, Remi.That four-letter word almost slipped right out. “I care about you,” I say instead. “We’re both a little damaged. But I think we can heal each other. If you can drop the bullshit and give me a chance.”

Knight huffs out a laugh and looks at me again. He licks his lips and searches my face, offering a slight nod. “Satan himself would have to drag me to hell to get me away from you, Remi. After last night, there’s no more pretending for me.”

A swarm of butterflies erupt in my stomach, and I have to bite my cheek to fight off a goofy grin. “I’ll be holding you to that. Your balls are on the line if you hurt me again. No more do-overs or second chances,” I warn him with an arched brow and as straight a face as I can manage.

Knight winces and cups his balls, and I can’t help but laugh. He smiles at me and pulls me in until our chests our pushed together. “I promise,” he says against my lips. Then he teases my mouth open with slow, sensual movements. Just as I start rocking against the growing bulge underneath me, Knight pulls back, looking somber. “We have to be careful. You and Duke too. We’ve all been too careless around the house. Your dad canneverknow.”

The fierce, worried expression he gives me is enough of a shock to have me agreeing easily. I know my father is a scary bastard, but to see Knight scared too when he usually faces the world with a stone cold,don’t give a fuckattitude? It sobers my good mood and sets a heavy weight in my stomach.

He’s right. My dad can never know… If he doesn’t already.

43

Remi

Thenextnight,I’mreluctantly opening a package I got in the mail, sitting on my bed while my mind is elsewhere. I have a pile of clean clothes folded on top of my dresser that’s glaring at me to be put away. But I can’t. Every time I even look in the direction of my closet, I feel sick. The thought of opening it to hang my shirts? Hell no. I tried. I panicked. I haven’t bothered since.

I can’t look at a closet without being sucked back to Halloween night, when I was tripping on some drug and watching Sara defile Duke through the slats. A new wave of nausea churns in my gut as memories flicker through my vision. I have no right to be upset over a closet when Duke had it so much worse.

“Get it together, Remi,” I say under my breath, finally getting the damn plastic ripped open. A deep burgundy dress slips out and falls to my lap. My dress for the wedding. Sara and I never made it to the mall, and with the big day in seven weeks, I couldn’t wait any longer. So I bought something cheap online and hoped it would fit.

I stand from my bed and hold the dress out to look. It’s made of soft, loose fabric that flows to the floor, with a lace bodice and sheer sleeves. It’s simple and elegant. Just what I wanted.

Stripping out of my jeans and T-shirt, I throw it all to the floor and step into the dress. I can’t reach the buttons along the back, but it seems to fit perfectly. I turn one way and then the other in front of my mirror, tucking a strand of brown hair behind my ear and trying to see a poised, graceful woman instead of the fractured girl I feel like lately.

Being abused by my father. Having Duke, then losing Duke. Getting bullied by Knight. Sara breaking my trust and heart. Duke and Knight both getting assaulted… After everything in my life that I’ve pushed through, I gotta know. When is it too much? When am I allowed to break and admit how much I’m hurting? Is it dramatic to scream it from the roof for the world to hear? Is it better to sink into myself and cry in the dead of night so no one knows?

Shaking my head, I peel off the dress, ignoring the tears that cloud my vision. I don’t have time to snap. One ounce of weakness, and my father will come for my head. I’m already walking on eggshells around him. I have to push until June, and then I can let myself feel everything. Once I’m out of here.

Which reminds me.

I check my emails for the tenth time in the last few days, seeing if I’ve gotten any early acceptance letters back from the schools I applied to a few weeks ago. I didn’t know where the guys wanted to go, so I applied everywhere. Schools in California, New York, and London even. If it were solely up to me, I’d move as far from Mountain Ridge as possible.

A knock on my door breaks my focus, and I swing my eyes up as Duke pokes his head in. I’m wearing nothing but blue lace underwear and a matching strapless bra. The moment he takes in all my bare skin, his eyes flood with desire.

Biting my lip to hide my smile, I cock my head to one side, letting my long brown hair fall over my shoulder. “What’s up?” I ask innocently.

Duke swallows before coming into my room and shutting the door. “I had a new song I wanted to swing by you. See if you liked it better for the concert than the other one. But, uh... That can wait.” He steps closer to me while I tremble with the need to touch him. I don’t, though. I keep still and allow him to make the moves, unsure what might set him off.

Duke stops before me, gently stroking his fingers up my arms and neck until he cradles my face in his palms. He closes his eyes, his brows pinched. “I love you,” he whispers.

“I love you too.”

“Kiss me,” he orders softly, his hands shaking against my cheeks.

“Duke, I don’t—“

“Please,” he begs, opening his eyes and cutting me in half with the heavy sadness in them. “I’m broken, Remi. I feel dirty. I need you to help me cleanse my body of her touch.” Duke’s voice cracks on that last word.I knew he remembered.If Sara weren’t in jail right now, I’d kill that bitch. And that’s not a figure of speech out of anger. Oh, no, I mean it. I’d do it just for the shattered expression on Duke’s face.

Shoving those violent urges aside, I lean up and press my lips to Duke’s, keeping my eyes open to watch his reaction. He stills, squeezing his eyes closed, his grip on my face tightening. Then he opens his mouth and tentatively sweeps his tongue out, meeting mine in a careful dance. It feels like two lovers coming together again with fractured hearts.

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