Page 61 of Charming Cruel Boys

“How’s college apps going?” George asks. He tagged along with me tonight, and he hasn’t made one comment about the horror of Halloween and everything with Sara. What a saint. Tonight I’m shoving those painful memories aside, forgetting how wounded I feel when Duke jumps at my touch, and focusing on the one thing I can work on instead. The relationship between Knight and I. I’m done with the back and forth, the anger and harsh words. After everything he said Halloween night, I think he’s ready for more too.

I swing my eyes over to George. He’s wearing dark jeans and a AC/DC hoodie. He gives zero fucks about school spirit. “I sent them all in. The colleges my dad will accept and the ones he has no idea about. Now it’s just a waiting game. You?”

“I got an early acceptance to MIT,” he brags with a smug smile, ruffling up his red hair, his tongue playing with his lip piercing.

My jaw drops and I smack his arm. “Since when? Why am I only now hearing this? Congratulations, you stupid genius!”

George laughs and pulls me into his side. “I just found out, babe. You’re the first to know, I promise. Now can— Oh shit! Your boy’s about to go down,” he shouts.

With bated breath, I snap my head forward and watch Knight go for the football as a horde of guys from the other team swarms him. He catches it and takes off in a sprint across the field, throwing it to a teammate right before he gets tackled to the ground.The crowd is silent as we all watch, so the crack of the helmets hitting and the grunts the guys make is loud.

I shoot to my feet with my heart in my throat, fighting the urge to run down there and see if he’s okay. After the longest five seconds of my life, the guys all stand, a few bump fists, and Knight jogs to the side of the field where there’s a large pitcher of water and an angry, yelling coach.

I don’t even realize I’m still standing in the middle of the bleachers until Knight pulls off his helmet and locks eyes with me. He winks and it’s like my heart jumpstarts, a mixture of nerves and joy rampaging through my bloodstream.

I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

Knight gets swept up in a conversation with his coach and the game goes on. When there’s a handful of minutes left in the last quarter, I stand and tell George, “Stay here. If my plan works, I might be getting laid. If not, I’ll be hiding my face in a tub of ice cream. Neither of those scenarios need an audience.” He laughs and wishes me good luck before focusing on the game again. Or, actually, on all the asses on display in those tight football pants. Can’t blame him one bit.

I shimmy through the crowd, making my way to the locker rooms where Knight will end up before long.I’ll put all my feelings on the line and tell him that I’m ready to go all in and give us a try. I hope it doesn’t blow up in my face.

As I’m humming along under my breath, walking under the dark sky and trying to stay positive, a chill races up my spine. I turn just in time to watch my dad’s face distort in anger. He wraps his hand around my wrist, yanking me behind a corner, out of view of everyone else.

“Since when do you come to any of the sporting events at Star View High?” he whispers harshly, crowding me in against the wall.

I hesitate. All I can think about is the way my fingers are going numb with how tight he’s holding my wrist, cutting off my blood flow. “I just thought it would be fun,” I answer, trying to pull from his grasp.

My father grabs a fistful of my shirt with his free hand, nearly ripping the thing off of me. “Fun? You thought wearing your stepbrother’s number and looking like a whore would be fun?”

“Let go of me,” I say harshly. I shove him as hard as I can, forcing him back a step, but he doesn’t release my wrist. Instead, he tugs me toward the parking lot, cursing under his breath. I push my heels into the asphalt, looking around in a panic. “Where are we going?”

“I’m taking you home! Before anyone makes the assumption that you’re screwing Knight,”he growls.

“Why would anyone think that? I’m allowed to go to the football games and support my stepbrother,” I argue, even though calling either of the Ashbury boysbrothermakes me want to vomit. Nothing sisterly about my feelings for them.

“Like hell you are, Remi!” My dad spins on his heels, gripping my chin in rough fingers and glaring down at me. “I told you to stay away from those boys. I’ve tried to be patient, but I’m about at my fucking limit. You’re going to ruin everything if you can’t control your sick urges.”

“I haven’t done anything!” I yell, fighting back tears as I fight to get free of him.

“Keep your voice down!” he snaps, looking around at the deserted parking lot. He forces me to move, throwing me into his car and slamming the door. He looks ready to burst a blood vessel as he gets in the driver’s seat and speeds back home, fuming in silence.

With every mile away from the high school, I’m sinking further into a state of numbness. There goes my plan, my good mood, and my last shred of strength.

By the time I march up to my bedroom and sink to the floor in the dark, tears staining my cheeks, I feel more desperate than ever to get away from here.

The guys have been a nice distraction from my shitty reality, but at some point, something’s gotta give. I think I’ve finally cracked.

I want to destroy my father for the way he’s treated me my entire life. I want to leave and never look back, and one day when he’s old and dying and needs me, I’ll laugh right in his face and tell him to eat a dick.

41

Knight

I’vebeenthinkingalot lately about how to get Charles off my back. How to keep Remi and Duke safe. How to get Mom out of marrying him. How to get the happy ending that I fucking deserve. Recently I’ve come up with one solution.The only solution.

I’m going to have to kill Charles Williams.

I’ve been trying to find shit on him that could get him sent to prison for life, but you know what? I’m done playing by the rules. He deserves a slow, painful death while I laugh like a goddamn maniac.

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