Page 66 of Atonement (Vengeance 2)

01/08/20

Haven’t written in ages. Things have been crazy busy, of course, but they’ve been pretty...dark at times too.

I continue to be plagued by nightmares. Every night. There’s never a reprise from it. I wake screaming, and it must be normal because Phoenix doesn’t even stir. How messed up is that?

So between being a single mum and all that that entails, the nightmares, the shit sleep, and working during the day to bring in some cash, I just don’t have time to write.

When I think of Lizzie meticulously keeping her journals, I feel ashamed and guilty. She once joked about me writing letters to her on a dirty napkin, but I feel like that’s actually an accurate representation of my ability to record my feelings.

Although, with the way I’m feeling, it’s probably best not to have a record or a reminder of it in too much detail.

Things will look up.

They have to.

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