Now, to have a shower and forget that this night ever happened.
The shower does what it’s intended to do, but I still feel uneasy. This time for a completely different reason. I can’t shake this feeling of eyes on me, which is just stupid considering I live alone, and there are no windows in the bathroom.
I move around the house, double checking that all windows and doors are locked with curtains closed before moving to sit on the couch.
I turn the tv on, choosing to watch an episode ofBonesbefore laying down on the couch to relax. By the time the episode is over, I feel more at ease and safe. I think tonight just rattled me a bit.
I don’t know if Jeff would have actually tried to force himself on me, but when he grabbed my arm and wouldn’t let go, it rocked me a little.
Okay, maybe more than a little, but I can’t help it. I hate the idea that some people think they can just manhandle a person without asking or consequences. It happens way too much in society, and we let them get away with it. It’s not okay to keep allowing this cycle to continue.
I’m really glad the man from the shop was there to help me out. I’m not sure how much longer I could have kept my composure, and violence really isn’t something I like to resort to if I can help it.
Would I have kicked Jeff in the testicles to get him to let me go if I had to? Yes, but I really didn’t want to. Like I said, I prefer to be non-confrontational if possible. My family is a prime example of that. Every day, I choose to ignore them and allow them to think I’m weak because I don’t feel the need to get on their level.
Anyone else would have put them in their places by now, but I do my best to keep the peace.
I get up and shut the tv off, turning the lights off as I go and using my phone as a flashlight. Once I’m in the bedroom, I plug the phone in before climbing into bed and making a promise to myself.
“I’m going to start fighting for myself,” I speak into the universe before closing my eyes and waiting for sleep to pull me under.