Rolling her eyes at her sister, Lena couldn’t help but think with a pang that Cori was exactly the kind of girl that Jake would like. She was always running and walking and biking.To be fair, Cori did these things for other reasons—scary reasons—and to an extent that constantly worried Lena and her parents.So, that was definitely an unfair comparison.
Lena let out a deep breath as she sipped her coffee and plopped down on a lucky open bench under a large Incense Cedar tree. “Yes, that’s correct. All of it. But I’m trying not to hate it. I’m trying to change—for the better," Lena said in her best Oprah voice, channeling wholesome providence and wisdom.
“And you made out with the mean guy from Hell Hike?Twice?”
Lena shifted uncomfortably. Why did she have to bring that up during her “change for the better” pronouncement? “Yes, I did.” She paused for a beat in consideration. “Well, one and a half times. The second time was more a series of sweet, soft kisses.”
“Ugh.” Cori verbally cringed. “Why does that sound grosser than a hot make-out session? TMI.”
“I just want you to get the facts straight, Corinne,” she said in a grave voice. “And I have good news.” Enough aboutthatsubject. “The town civic association is commissioning a mural for the town square and I’m submitting a proposal.”
“Oh, that’s awesome. What are you proposing? Have you sketched it out?”
“No. I haven’t gotten that far. But that’s where this hike comes into play. I want to get a fresh perspective and sketch out some ideas from somewhere new. Hopefully bring in a different perspective.”
“I guess that makes sense. But who’s this guy you’re going with? Not Hell-Hike-Soft-Kisses?”
“No, it’s Daniel. He’s a fellow east coaster and just moved here, too. I met him on the plane actually, but I’mnotinterested in soft kisses with him. I think he's lonely, though, and he has a toxic family life.”
“Hmm, well this all sounds very soap opera-y. Be careful walking in the woods with him,” Cori said in a skeptical tone.
Lena rolled her eyes. “You sound like Jake. After our sweet, soft kisses—”
“Ugh.” Cori made a loud retching sound.“Please stop saying that.”
“After oursweet, soft kisses, we had a big argument about it.” Lena felt a sick, dark feeling cloak her heart. Inside, beneath the echoes of a loud voice yelling, “He really doesn’t think much of you, does he?”was a much quieter voice whispering, “Did you overreact a bit there?”
“What did he say?”
“That I’m too soft. That I can’t handle a hike like this. That I shouldn’t climb a mountain with Daniel who I barely know.”Stupid judgy mountain man.
“Well, that’s kind of whatI’msaying,” Cori noted matter-of-factly. “Why don’t you see if Annie or Morgan can go?”
“Well, you’re both wrong. And I don’t want to rely on Annie and Morgan for everything.I want to strike out on my own and do my own thing sometimes.”
“Lena, why are you being so weird and stubborn about this?”
Lena plopped her coffee down on the bench next to her and looked at the people in front of her. The crowd was thick with summer tourists; happy families and contented couples strolling with excitement in their eyes. Bouncy pop music blared from a nearby ice cream parlor. She resisted the urge to break down into tears in the middle of a crowd of shiny people on vacation.
“I don’t know,” she confessed. “I guess I just really want moving here to have been a good decision. I’m so sick of people questioning my choices. Mom and Dad think I’m useless. Jake thinks I’m useless—”
“Well, why are you making out with a guy who thinks you’re useless?” Cori interrupted in a sharp voice. “And Mom and Dad don’t think that. They love you. I love you,” she insisted. “Even if you really were switched at birth from a family of overly-emotional artists,” she added in a much softer tone.
Lena snorted and wiped her face with her hands.Against her will, her eyes were burning and tears escaped to stream down her cheeks. “I’m sick of it. I’m sick of no one understanding me. Of making fun of me.Of treating me like I’m less-than because I’m not just like them. I’m such a hot mess, Cori. What if I can’t make a life here and I have to go back home with my tail between my legs?” She hadn’t realized she was feeling all of those things until the words came tumbling out of her mouth.
“Lena, stop whining,” Cori snapped. “Everyone is a hot mess. No one has their shit together as much as it looks like from the outside. This Jake guy is giving offmajorhot mess vibes. And you know…I’m not perfect. I’m just better at hiding from the world. At least you’re putting yourself out there and trying to experience things.” She let out a sigh.“So, just do your best. Remember, it's only been a few weeks. Although it may seem like it’s been longer because your boss already hates you and you’ve got some bizarre hiking-related love triangle brewing. But if anyone can find beauty during the messy parts of life, it’s you.”
Lena reluctantly smiled. Cori always had the right balance of stern and soft to pull her successfully out of a pity party.“You don’t have to hide, you know.You can come here. We can share a room just like the old days.”
“Maybe one day,” Cori said wistfully. “Definitely to visit. I’ve got my dissertation coming up though and then I was hoping to snag an internship at this workforce initiative think tank…”
“You’re such a smarty pants, Cori. But since you mentioned the boss that hates me, I should get back to work. I love you.”
“Love you, too. Now, call me when you get back from climbing this freaking mountain.”
After they exchanged final goodbyes, Lena tapped her phone off and sat for a few minutes poking at the ice in her plastic cup with her straw. She delicately wiped the tears from below her eyes with a tissue, careful not to smudge her makeup, before rising and tossing her empty cup in a nearby trash can.Time to get back to the grind.
As Lena began to wade through the crowd of tourists and back to the resort, she thought about some of the things that Cori had said.