Page 121 of Fortress of the Heart

This week has been a fucking shit show. And I have no warm body next to me to count for any of it. I want a warm body; I decide then and there.

But not just anybody, I wanther.

I put my arm over my eyes and try to will myself to stop thinking about her.

Her scent. It drives me mad.

Together we’re explosive. She drives me crazy like no other woman ever has, especially in such a short time. The passion I feel with Katiya it like nothing else, it doesn’t even compare to Lisa.

My mind fights against all rational thoughts that we shouldn’t be together. Starting with what I did to her. I don’t think I’ve ever been with a virgin.

Knowing I took Katiya like that, where no other man has been, makes me weak at the knees.

Never in my life have I seen a woman as beautiful as her.

I don’t know how I am going to get through this without seeing her again, even though I know I should stay away.

I fall asleep, her name on my lips as it has been every night since I met her.

I’m fucking cursed.

* * *

My head feels like there’s a Mariachi band playing in there when I wake the next morning.

I don’t get drunk often, in fact, it’s rare. But sometimes exceptions need to be made.

I skip the gym, which makes me feel even more like shit, and by the time I get to my office at the casino, I remember Katiya texted me last night.

I pull my phone out and realize I must have switched it off. By the time I switch it back on, I’ve gotten about fifty missed calls and messages.

I ignore them all and go to Katiya’s.

I wonder what she meant when she said there are things to be said?

Only, it’s that mouth that keeps me wanting to come back for more. Her pout. Her sass.

Her passion at flinging insults at me. Then there’s her blow job skills…

I can’t think straight.

I’m struck once more with how strong my feelings are for this woman I barely know.

Her face when she was leaving… I didn’t like handing her over to those muscle heads, even though they were her people. It felt…wrong.

But all I can think of is making her mine. Taking her. In every way I can.

I do wonder, did she do this to piss Vlad off? Do I actually mean anything to her? More to the point, what am I going to do with her?

I already know the answer to that, and I could slap myself.

I’ve never wanted a woman as bad as I want her. I’ve never had a woman speak her mind with me as she does; I hope she never loses that fire. It’s what makes her special.

I start typing.

Me:Good morning, Katiya. My apologies, it was late, and I had a funeral to attend yesterday. I’m glad you made it home safely.

I know I’m playing with fire. I should just ignore her, pretend she never existed. That would be the smarter solution. Instead, I hit send and purposely say nothing about catching up and asking what she meant bythings to say.

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