Page 20 of The Lost Girls of Willowbrook

Shivering, Sage did as she was told, her teeth rattling. The girls and young women who were lucky enough to have clothes and were able to dress themselves struggled into dresses and blouses and skirts, while the rest of the residents with clothes lay helpless beside their crumpled garments, forgotten. Some, while waiting for a clean diaper, had messed themselves again. When Sage returned to her bed, she put her underwear and clothes on over her still-wet skin, pulling and tugging at the material, then wrapped up in the thin blanket and sat on the bed, rubbing her arms and legs to get warm.

She watched the door, praying that someone would come in and admit there’d been a mistake—Dr. Baldwin had called Alan again; he had explained everything, and now she was free to go home. Money for a bus ticket was waiting in his office, along with her suede jacket and the clogs she’d lost when they grabbed her in the waiting room. Then Dr. Baldwin would apologize. Or maybe Alan was on his way to get her. He’d be pissed he had to retrieve her, but she didn’t care as long as he got her out of there. Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew it was all wishful thinking, but it was the only hope she had left.

Once the residents were all showered and diapered and dressed, Marla limped her way around the ward, shouting and pulling those who could stand from their beds, hefting others into wheelchairs and carts. Then she herded everyone toward the door.

“Come on,” she shouted. “Let’s go. It’s time to move.”

While Marla unlocked the double doors, the attendant in the rain slicker started to mop the floor, filling the air with the strong sting of Pine-Sol. Sage stood, grateful to be leaving the ward. Maybe she’d find someone to listen to her. But the scarred girl in the next bed stood at the same time, still naked, then turned to face Sage, blocking her way. The red-marled skin on her face and neck reached over one shoulder and covered part of her chest, including one breast. She held up a dress with a purple top and lilac-covered skirt and frowned at Sage.

“I don’t want to wear this one yet,” she said. “But somebody took my other one and it’ll be weeks before laundry brings more.”

“I’m sorry,” Sage said because she didn’t know what else to say.

“My mom sent it to me, remember? And I hid it under my mattress because I was saving it for when she visits again.”

When the girl mentioned her mother visiting again, Sage couldn’t help thinking of Rosemary. How many days, weeks, months,yearshad she spent waiting for her mother to do the same? How many times had her heart been broken, longing for someone who would never come? “Does your mother come to see you a lot?”

“You know she don’t,” the girl said. “It’s been two years since the last time. And I don’t know when she’s coming again, but when she left, she said, ‘Tina, I’ll be coming again real soon, so behave yourself. And make sure you always wear a nice dress.’”

Sage cringed inside.Two years?What made this poor girl think her mother was ever coming back? “How long have you been here?” she said.

Tina looked at her like it was the dumbest question in the world. “Why are you asking me that? We always talk about how hard it is to tell about them things in here. But as far as I can figure, I think it’s been about eight years since my mom left and Daddy dumped the boiling water on me. Maybe a little longer.”

Oh God.So that was how she’d gotten the scars. And eight years? That meant she’d been a little girl when it happened. “Why did your father do that to you?”

“You know why. ’Cause I’m feeble-minded and Daddy didn’t want me no more.”

Sage didn’t know what to say. How could a father intentionally disfigure his own daughter? And how had poor Tina stayed sane in this awful place for eight long years? If shewassane.

“No need to look so sad,” Tina said. “You been here long enough to realize I’m not the only kid from a broken home stuck in here.” She pointed at a young girl, about seven or eight years old, who was shuffling toward the door with her head down. “That’s Ginny. She showed up while you were gone. Her daddy brought her here in a big fancy Cadillac, dropped her off, and said he didn’t want no news of her ever again, even if she died. And there ain’t a darn thing wrong with her.” She pulled the purple and lilac dress over her head and pushed her arms into the sleeves. “Guess I better wear this instead of walking around naked as a jaybird. You been in the pit again?”

Sage couldn’t take her eyes off Ginny, who looked sluggish and miserable, moving like a zombie among the rest of the residents. Had the threats about sending disobedient kids to Willowbrook been true too? How many other residents were like Ginny, healthy but thrown away by their parents? That idea was horrible enough, but how would a child ever get put in foster care or adopted if they were trapped in here? And if they managed to survive and get out, how would they ever feel normal again?

Tina waved a hand in front of Sage’s face. “Hello? You in there?”

Sage shook her head to clear it. “I’m sorry. What did you say?”

“I asked if you been in the pit again.”

“The pit?”

“You know. Seclusion. The rubber room. The pit?”

Sage shook her head again. “No, I wasn’t in the pit.”

“You been on the experiment ward? I heard they got shiny floors and drapes on the windows over there. And toys and silverware and paper to write on.”

“The experiment ward? What is that?”

Tina shrugged. “Where they do experiments. I don’t know what kind.”

“On the residents?”

“Yeah,” Tina said. “That’s why they let them have toys and stuff.”

A chill passed through Sage. What other rumors about Willowbrook were true? For a second, she thought about telling Tina who she really was, but it could backfire. Tina might not believe her. And if Tina was Rosemary’s friend, she might know something that could help. But if Sage tried to convince her Rosemary was still missing, she might get confused, stop trusting her, and clam up.

Tina made a face. “Well,don’ttell me where you were then, fine. Guess we all got secrets.” Then she smiled, and Sage caught a glimpse of the girl she must have been before—innocent and full of hope for the future. It broke Sage’s heart and reminded her of Rosemary at the same time.

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