Page 33 of Disgraced (Russian Sinners 3)

Scarlett

Sergei was tense. He could tell me nothing was wrong till he turned blue in the face but something was definitely off. His eyes surveyed the restaurant for the hundredth time, and I noted he carried a gun today. It surprised me, never seeing him wear a gun holster before. When I questioned him about it, he just said that he didn’t have a chance to go back home and change after work, and it wasn’t safe to leave it in the car. I thought he said he was a casino and hotel owner; why would he carry a gun?

While tension rolled off of him in waves, I wasn’t exactly my chipper self either. Our vacation was nearing the end, but I didn’t want it to end. I didn’t want to go back home and marry a stranger my family tied me to. I wanted to stay with Sergei and there were so many times that it was on the tip of my tongue to ask him how he felt about me. But then I’d chicken out. Truthfully, I didn’t know a lot about him but I loved what I knew. I liked spending my days and nights with him. I felt safe and protected, cherished. I didn’t want to give any of it up.

“Scarlett, can I ask you a favor?” his voice dragged me away from my thoughts.

I met his brown gaze, and my heart skipped a beat. There was no way I could marry another man, let him kiss me, never mind make love to him. Sergei was the one for me.

“Sure,” I muttered on a sigh, my thoughts bittersweet. I knew I loved him but didn’t know how to break the promise my father made to another man without anyone getting hurt.

“I have some work to get done at my club,” he proceeded to tell me. “But I really want to see you. Would you consider coming to my club tomorrow night with your friends? That way I can still see you but you wouldn’t be alone while I’m working.”

It wasn’t what I expected. Every time we were together, it was just the two of us. I haven’t met any of his friends, and I didn’t divulge any information to him about Olivia and Anastasia. It was almost as we both agreed, this was all just about us.

“Sure, where is it?” I asked him, as I brought the wineglass to my lips.

Just a second ago, I wanted to know how he felt about me. The fact he wanted to meet my friends must mean he was taking our relationship to the next level. Right? I couldn’t quite decide how I felt about introducing Olivia and Anastasia to Sergei. Not because I didn’t trust them, but it almost felt like making plans for a long-term relationship. That’s what I wanted, right?

Yes, it is what I want.

But my father’s commitment loomed over me. A pang of guilt hit me again. It has been coming and going over the last week. I wanted to pretend all was well but the fact remained that I was lying to Sergei and doing things behind my parents’ back. This could hurt them. Sergei didn’t know that I was practically engaged. Not of my own free will but still promised to someone. Yes, I wanted to break it off, but if I was honest with myself, I knew that I couldn’t. Not unless I was ready to risk my father’s reputation and possibly life. Breaking an arrangement caused wars in my parents’ world.

I wanted a future with Sergei but wasn’t sure if I’d get it.

“Great,” he gave me a smile but it didn’t quite reach his eyes, and I wondered what his deal was today. It seemed we both were in a different frame of mind than our usual selves. “I’ll text you the address. The name of the club is the Russian Orchid.”

“Are you sure we won’t be a bother though?” I asked him, my alarm senses going off although I had no idea why. “If you are busy, we don’t have to see each other tomorrow.”

I was actually impressed I managed to sound nonchalant, as if I didn’t care. Yeah, right! I felt like an insecure girl, scared I’d get dumped by the man I fell for.

He reached for my free hand and took it in his big hand. “I want to see you every day, all day long,” his eyes were burning, hunger in them reflecting mine. It gave me some assurance, although the guilt still lingered in my heart. “You will never be a bother to me, Scarlett.”

And just like that, all my doubts dissipated. But the doubts over the future with Sergei remained.

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